Monday, June 09, 2008

Wedding Hell

Saturday afternoon, Hoop and I went to finalize the details of our wedding at the restaurant hosting our ceremony/reception. I'd diligently written a list of questions the night before, determined not to leave anything out. The moment we arrived, I felt uneasy. The coordinator, Bridget, looked all of seventeen. "Let me show you the upstairs room," she said airily. "We don't need to see it," I said. "We've already booked it. For the eighth of November?" Red flags were popping up in my head. I willed her to remember. "Oh!" She replied, looking confused. She took us upstairs anyway.

"I have a question about the seating," I started off. Originally, we were told this room could seat seventy-five. Then we were told only sixty. I was wondering if that was the max capacity of the room? Does that include the servers and the DJ?" "You don't have to feed your guests if you don't want to." She answered. I tried again. "No, we WANT to feed them. I was just trying to figure out how many people we could invite." "Um..." It was obvious she had no idea what I was asking. "We don't have a fire code or anything. But it would probably be too crowded to have a dance floor if you invited sixty people."

"Are you serious?" My throat was starting to constrict. "I wish someone had told us this before we reserved the room." Trying to diffuse the situation, Bridget took us back into her tiny office to look over the calendar. "Unfortunately, these other two rooms are booked. This one has a reception at four-" "-At four?" Hoop interjected. "But... Won't that conflict with our ceremony? They'd have to walk through where we're having it to get to their room." "Oh!" Bridget gasped. "Well, that's not going to work! Who booked this?"

"YOU booked this," Hoop snapped. "I booked it with you on the phone about two months ago." I was starting to feel dizzy. "Can we just go home?" I pleaded with Hoop. "You could always change your date." The girl suggested, pointing at the next weekend. "But we've already ordered the cake and the flowers and the favors-" I answered weakly. "That's not going to work," Hoop replied. "We've already put in for the next week off and booked a cruise." Bridget shrugged and looked at me pityingly. "You could always have the ceremony at 4:30." Great. Right as the Saturday dinner crowd is arriving.

I suddenly had a vision of what the place would look like with two ceremonies, three receptions, and a normal dinner crowd all going on at the same time. Would anyone even know which party they belonged to? I begged Hoop again to go home. I wanted to leave before I cried. There was no way I was going to let this little ignorant girl push me overboard. It was either cry or leap across the room and beat her with her own toothpick arm. That's doesn't make me a Bridezilla, does it? I suddenly understood my florist's reaction when I'd told her where we were getting married.

"Oh, the Hilltop." Said as if it were a synonym of "puke" or "herpes". "What's wrong?" My Mom had asked, suddenly going very white. "Nothing," Quick recovery. "It's just... They have a slight problem with double booking or overbooking their venues. You just make sure they do things right by you." I blew it off as just a bad experience. How could a lovely place like that, which makes most of it's revenue from weddings, possibly screw this up? So here I am, four and a half months to go, looking for a new location for our ceremony and reception.

Thank God I hadn't made the invitations yet! Just cross your fingers these assholes give us our deposit back. While you're at it, cross your other fingers that the rest of this goes smoothly. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. Remember, I wanted to elope! Poor Hoop. Last night, as he was falling asleep, he mumbled into my hair. "I knew the moment that girl opened her mouth that she was going to ruin my weekend. I just knew it. That's why I was so mad." Well I'm glad he has this whole thing in perspective. Maybe I could learn a thing or two from him.

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44 Comments:

At 09 June, 2008, Blogger Karen said...

Oh honey!
This too will pass. And you'll find a better place! I KNOW you will!

 
At 09 June, 2008, Blogger gr said...

holy cr!p! you have my permission to go BRiDEZILLA on them!
Hoop's a good guy, you will figure it out.

 
At 09 June, 2008, Blogger fiwa said...

Tink - I am SO MAD for you! What a dumbass that girl is!

Sister, MAKE her give you that deposit back. Don't even act like it's a possibility that she won't. That is inexcuseable. What if you HAD already printed your invitations? She's lucky you hadn't gone that far yet.

Being upset about that certainly does not make you a Bridezilla. I'm so sorry about that - I hope you find some place even better.

lovins,
fiwa

PS - I'm glad Mickey Mouse made you laugh, you musta been bored if you were digging that far back!

 
At 09 June, 2008, Blogger mrspao said...

Good grief - that is completely unacceptable. Thank goodness you found out before your wedding day and can make some other arrangements.

I think a stern letter hinting at legal action is in order.

 
At 09 June, 2008, Blogger Sunshine said...

If their bread and butter is weddings, overbooking the venues is totally stupid. OMG, what idiots.

You could always change your date?? Is she drunk??

 
At 09 June, 2008, Blogger Jay said...

I would have left that girl bawling her eyes out and all curled up in the fetal position in the corner. You guys showed great restraint.

Actually I would have stopped her and told her I needed to talk to the boss. No reason to continue the conversation with her. She was clearly too stupid to help in any way. And she probably didn't have the desire or authority to fix anything that had been screwed up.

 
At 09 June, 2008, Anonymous Emily said...

holy crap - i know that place and i've never heard anything negative about it! Although, I'm not in the wedding biz.

Here's a shot in the dark - my best friend had wedding and reception at a club in the same suburban town as your original site (trying not to give anything away!). It was WONDERFUL. Best "club" on the "continent" if you ask me! I don't know how much it costs tho. It is worth a look, if you haven't already!!!

 
At 09 June, 2008, Blogger Eric Shonkwiler said...

I hope things work out for you. I'm very tempted to make a joke here, but I don't think it's proper. At all. So. I return your "pffft" and direct it at the little girl in charge.

 
At 09 June, 2008, Blogger Maggie said...

Deep breath. Hoof it to any other venues you liked. Beg plead borrow and get that out of the way. If they refuse to give your deposit back, take them to People's Court. Judge Milian is always so empathetic to the wedding couples. (heh)

Seriously, its going to be ok. Get a new venue and then screw those bastards, they don't deserve your business.

"You don't need to feed your guests" - WTF?

 
At 09 June, 2008, Blogger the planet of janet said...

oh NO!!! that's unbelievable!

i think you SHOULD have gone all bridezilla on them!!!!!

 
At 09 June, 2008, OpenID kcinnova said...

Oh, Tink!! Hoop showed tremendous restraint, because SuperDad would have reacted with such a verbal discussion of her incompetence that she would have been in in the fetal position that Jay described, right before going to her boss and assisting in her firing.
You, my dear, UNDER-REACTED. And I totally understand your desire to just get out of there before you became emotional. CRAZY that she looked to you for assistance when it was HER job to assist YOU!!
I'm so sorry that the place you thought was perfect for your special day has become a house of horror. Maybe the florist can help you with a new venue?
Oh, and the money back? Did she want to provide that with or without legal action? (Sounds like breach of contract to me!)

 
At 09 June, 2008, Blogger Jules said...

It'll all work out in the end!

And be the slighted bride and INSIST on that deposit being returned. It's called not holding good on their end of the bargain...

Ask the florist and baker if they have good suggestions for locations!

 
At 09 June, 2008, Blogger HalfAsstic.com said...

Bless your heart. Those dirty bastards had better give you your deposit back and you need to tell everyone you know about what happened and to never use them. (mumble, mumble,em-effers, mumble,mumble)

 
At 09 June, 2008, Blogger Hilary said...

Some good advice here to check with the florist and bakery for other possibilities. Things have a way of working out and no doubt they will for you and Hoop. Don't lose heart.

 
At 09 June, 2008, Blogger AY@tes said...

Whoa! They doubled booked a room for a wedding/reception? Do they not realize the emense amount of stress you're already under and now to have to deal with that?

Better question: did you end up punching her?

 
At 09 June, 2008, Blogger Chris said...

If they don't give you your deposit back, you know we'll all go over there and break kneecaps, right?

 
At 09 June, 2008, Blogger LL said...

There's always that little nook that you and Hoop got naked in...

Get the name of Emily's place and see if you can get that. Might not be the Hilltop, but let's face it, are there really any hills in Florida anyway? :P

You'll make it darlin...

 
At 09 June, 2008, Blogger meno said...

Maybe you could get her fired! It might not work, but it would give you something positive to focus on.

Deep breaths!

 
At 09 June, 2008, Blogger furiousBall said...

don't worry, at the end of all this you'll be married.

 
At 09 June, 2008, Blogger Aunt Jackie said...

Relax and simply "TRUST" that things will all work themselves out, and that everything happens for a reason. It will all work out, but I know it's stressful.

Justice O' de Peace was Mr. J and Me :) Mom still hasn't forgiven me, but that's what we did...

You hang in there, and follow your gut instinct and relax.

 
At 09 June, 2008, Blogger Reb said...

OMG, I can't believe the incompetence shown by this place. You will get your deposit back, you will find an even batter place to have the ceremony and reception and everything will work out.

Just thinking about it doesn't make you a bridezilla.

 
At 09 June, 2008, Anonymous moo said...

OH! I'm SO SORRY!

I'm with everyone else ... did you sign a contract with them? Because then they are in breech of contract and you can not only get your money, but sue them. Did you pay the deposit by credit card? Because then you can call the CC company and dispute the charge.

UGH. You're right; at least you didn't do the invitations.

And I'm totally of the mind that things happen for a reason ... and the next place you find will KICK ASS and BE PERFECT.

 
At 09 June, 2008, Blogger ETK said...

OMG! OMG OMG OMG! I hope you shared your displeasure verbally and loudly. That is simply NOT OK.

I'm sorry!!! Remember - that this is going to be about you and Hoop and it will be wonderful and lovely and magical. No matter what.

 
At 09 June, 2008, Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

First of all you showed incredible restraint, secondly, if all they do is weddings they SHOULD get it right and finally, if they don't give you your deposit back give the girlie's name and I will go pull her hair out on your behalf. Jeez! I wish you luck on finding the new place.

 
At 09 June, 2008, Blogger Jen said...

Tink, that was just wrong. Completely wrong. I'm sorry.

Happy hunting - find a place that is worthy of you 2. . . . okay?

Stoopid girl.

 
At 09 June, 2008, Blogger Saffa Chick said...

Oh no! That's terrible!

You must be having nightmares. How absolutely awful, you poor things.

Go back when you have calmed down, and go dump on the manager and get her fired. It will make you feel better ;-).

 
At 10 June, 2008, Blogger Terri said...

oh you poor things. Planning a wedding is really one of the most nerve-wracking things oh and then you gotta go through with it which is pretty nerve-wracking too! It'll all be fine though, you'll see.

 
At 10 June, 2008, Blogger Gordo said...

Oh, Tink. That's horrific. You really need to have a chat with the manager. This kind of nonsense is unconscionable.

 
At 10 June, 2008, Blogger Mike said...

Weddings suck.

Invite your closest friends and family to your house for burnt dead meat.

And maybe an array of salads.

And some beer.

See? Everybodies happy!

 
At 10 June, 2008, Blogger g-man said...

Bummer Tink. I'm sure that since it was their problem the will refund your money, lest you make a public stink about it.

Deep breath.

In the end all that will matter is that you and Hoop and your friends and family will have shared in your ceremony of love.

 
At 10 June, 2008, Blogger Janet said...

Why do weddings have to be so stressful? WHY would a wedding venue want to do that to someone? Gah!

 
At 10 June, 2008, Blogger Heather said...

Oh NO!! I really hope that you are able to find somewhere else. Take deep breaths!!

 
At 10 June, 2008, Blogger womaninawindow said...

GEEsh! That's why there are so many shows about wedding f-ups! There are morons running the wedding industry! And that poor girl and her toothpick arm. I just feel for her, you know? (Sarcasm...) um, good-luck. IT WILL all work out, one way or another. Advice, just aim way short of perfect...

 
At 10 June, 2008, Blogger mamatulip said...

Way to demonstrate self-control, Tink; I would have totally beaten Briget with her toothpick arm right then and there.

Hang in there. I'm wishing you guys all the luck in the world.

 
At 10 June, 2008, Anonymous catscratch diva said...

Yep. Fangs would have come out and they would have beeeeeen soooo sorry.

 
At 10 June, 2008, Blogger Sparkling Red said...

That is beyond awful. :-p

I wish you the best of luck finding somewhere better. It's got to be one of those "meant to be" things - the right place is out there right now, just waiting for you.

 
At 10 June, 2008, Blogger Newt said...

Honey, I think just to be a part of your wedding most people would be perfectly happy standing on a street corner. Beach, park. Parks are good. Get one of the nice shelters. Have a picnic company come grill some burgers and chicken. You can have as many people as you want. And, you'll get married in a beautiful park. Trust me, a city park can be a perfect background for amazing wedding pictures.

 
At 10 June, 2008, Blogger Alice said...

HOLY HOLY HOLY EFF. i'm so sorry. i have no doubt you'll be able to find someplace FAR more awesome, but in the meantime, you should post this experience on every bridal website in existence. not only will it (hopefully) make you feel a little better, but it will help other people NOT HAVE TO DO THIS.

 
At 11 June, 2008, Blogger Peggy said...

THAT is exactly the reason that we had a little wedding in a park. No dancing, no booze, no massive amounts of hand wringing about this sort of thing. I really hope you get this mess cleared up and get your deposit back. I would have physically extracted the deposit from her on the spot!

Please keep us updated on this one.

 
At 11 June, 2008, Anonymous Emily (again) said...

I've thought on this for a few days...

GET MARRIED ON THE BEACH! Barefoot and everything, then throw a big party. A party site is much easier to find than a venue that is appropriate for a wedding AND reception!

The beach is your style anyway, from what I've gathered of your personality by reading your words daily.

 
At 11 June, 2008, Blogger Tink said...

Emily: You're awesome. You really are. We've got an appointment on Saturday with the coordinator at the clubhouse of the place my Grandparents live at... on the um, island? It's hard talking in code! Email me if you want details: twstdtink(at)yahoo(dot)com.

 
At 11 June, 2008, Blogger Farmer*swife said...

That Crappy @$$ little Bit@H! OOOOh, they have no clue until it's them getting married!

POO-VILLE! She screwed up and double booked, you had your ducks (and appropriate questions) all lined out and rowed up...threaten the Better Bus. Burea of they try to hold your deposit....trust me, they'll return it..

And, remember the big picture cuz' there will be kinks along the way and kinks on that day....but, you gotta' try and laugh and love and enjoy.

[Oh, and make sure your dress and accesories are hemmed right. I know I've said that before...but that was my biggest issue on my "night."]

Hang in there!!!!

 
At 11 June, 2008, Blogger Katie said...

You'll be OK, Tink. Alec and I planned our wedding in 4 months. It was simple, pretty, and we had a great time. Plus, we didn't spend too much money because we kept it simple and small. Take a deep breath. You can do it.

 
At 15 June, 2008, Blogger Spamboy said...

Man, it was crap like that which pushed us over the edge and into Vegas. Just do it, go on the cruise, then have a reception when you get back -- at a completely different location. You won't regret it. :) Hope things get better/smoother soon -- wedding planning stress is never fun!

 

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