Thursday, May 29, 2008

Are There Nuts In Heaven?

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: *Crying* I just hit a squirrel!
Hoop: Aw, babe.
Tink: I've never killed anything before. It sucks!
Hoop: I'm so sorry. At least it wasn't a human.
Tink: *Sniff* That's true.


Health: I have been smoke-free for nine months, two weeks, five days, twenty hours, twenty-seven minutes and fourteen seconds. But seriously, who's counting? Overall, I have "saved" myself $1,016.72 and not smoked a total of 5,437 cigarettes. I have no idea where all that spare cash went though. I think maybe my IPod ate it. Although I have long passed the point of caving in, I still think about cigarettes at least once a week. Sometimes in a dialog.

Me: Hey there.
Cigarette: Sup.
Me: You doing OK?
Cigarette: Oh-ho, so you're talking to me now?
Me: Look, it was nothing personal.
Cigarette: Yeah, whatever.
Me: I just... didn't like your friends.
Cigarette: Who, Cool and Enjoyable?
Me: No, they were OK. It was Cancer and Emphysema. They're kind of bullies, always hanging around threatening people.
Cigarette: Oh.
Me: But it's OK. Maybe we'll hang out again someday? I probably won't care as much when I'm 80.
Cigarette: Yeah, I'd like that.
Me: Stay safe.
Cigarette: *Laughing* You're funny.

Wedding: Groom. Check. Location of ceremony and reception. Check. Flowers, dress, cake and shoes? Check! Favors. Hm, partial check. Honeymoon. Oh yeah, check that one off! Tuxedos, rings, DJ, invitations, menu, hotels, transportation, videographer, seating, unity candle, cake topper, passport- Shit. How many months do we have again? Only six! For real?! OhmyGod. So anyway, the wedding plans are going swell. My Mom and I ordered the flowers last Saturday. My bouquet is going to look something like this:

(Not my picture)

For our honeymoon we've decided to going on
this cruise. I can't even explain how deliriously happy this makes me. Cozumel! Belize! I check the site almost daily to see if they've updated the land excursions. I thought nothing would beat taste testing wedding cakes. But this, to the girl who has been all of nowhere, is by far the best surprise yet. Now for all the less-fun stuff... *Sigh*

Labels: , , ,


At 29 May, 2008, Blogger Candy said...

Cigarettes hold a grudge? Good to know.

Flowers = beautiful!

At 29 May, 2008, Blogger the planet of janet said...

yay for smoke-free, pretty flowers and a waaaaay cool honeymoon cruise!


At 29 May, 2008, Blogger Knight said...

I have killed a few things with my car. It always sucks.
Why do the people getting married have to do so much. Shouldn't somebody else be putting all of it together for them? Like a surprise party?

At 29 May, 2008, Blogger Spamboy said...

So when the cigarette laughed, did it cough?

At 29 May, 2008, Blogger Jay said...

The cigarette is actually taking this pretty well. Maybe he's given up and isn't angry anymore.

I've never been on a cruise. That one looks like it would be a blast!

At 29 May, 2008, Blogger Woman in a Window said...

You are officially the funniest blog that I visit...not that YOU are a know what I mean. You used to smoke?!!?! Oh, another !!! Fur real? So glad you quit. Just lost my father-in-law to brain, lung, and something else cancer. He died in 5 weeks! from finding out. So not worth it, although his stubborn zombie ass would probably still disagree.
The wedding sounds exciting!

At 29 May, 2008, Blogger fiwa said...

Congratulations on being smoke free Tink! I know it's been hard.

I'm doing the happy dance for you about your honeymoon! You are going to LOVE Cozumel. I've never been to Belize, but my friend went and wanted to stay for life. I'm so excited for you. :) :)

Beautiful flowers - I'm glad it's all coming together. You're doing pretty good if you've gotten all that taken care of.


At 29 May, 2008, Blogger Peggy said...

I just love weddings!

#1 You get to marry the person you love best in the whole wide world.

#2 You get presents!

#3 If you have been living together for a little while, getting married actually revitalizes the sex. Something about the honeymoon and officially sanctioned nookie . . .

At 29 May, 2008, Blogger Pamer said...

hey...i love that you are smoke free for so long....good on you, seriously!!

Honeymoon looks great...very great...amazingly, very great....stupendously, frabjously great
Lucky gurl

At 29 May, 2008, Blogger LL said...

Bahhh... don't worry... you've got plenty of time.

Ummm... when is the big day again?

I know a lot of people who have that exact same conversation with Copenhagen.

At 29 May, 2008, Blogger furiousBall said...

good job with the no smoking, seriously

your elbows will probably start straightening out any day now

At 29 May, 2008, Blogger Allison said...

Sooo... if I just happen to show up on that same cruise, at the same time as you and Hoop, in the room next door, you won't think I'm stalking you, will you? Not that I would ever do that. That would be weird. But just think about it... we could all get drunk together and I could totally sneak you cigarettes when no one else was looking. (That's right, I'm the worst friend EVER when it comes to supporting people who quit smoking. Sorry.)

Anyway, um, yeah. You, me, Hoop and Steve on that cruise. I'll see ya in six months.

At 29 May, 2008, Blogger Heather said...

Congrats on the not smoking thing that's quite an accomplishment!!

The flowers are pretty and the cruise sounds like a fantastic time!!

At 29 May, 2008, Blogger Mouse said...

Congrats on being smoke-free! I quit when I found out I was pregnant and haven't smoked again for nearly 8 years.. though I do still think about smoking. My husband has tried to quit twice now and is back at it but I'm hoping that he will permanently quit again soon.

At 29 May, 2008, Blogger Farmer*swife a/k/a Glass_Half_Full said...

Love the conversation with the cigarette! I've done something similar with Vodka...but, vodka is usually pretty persuasive. ;)

All the wedding stuff WILL come together, don't worry. And, don't fret the small stuff...but DO be sure to have your dress and petti-coat or slip or whatever else hemmed appropriately -- otherwise the dancing kinda' sucks! Take it from me [smiley-wink].

At 29 May, 2008, Blogger mamatulip said...

CONGRATULATIONS on being smoke free for so long! That's AWESOME!

The cruise looks awesome - I can't wait for pics from that.

And you know...I'm with Hoop. At least you didn't hit a human.

At 29 May, 2008, Blogger Chris said...

Congrats your ongoing non-smoking anniversary! Woe about the squirrel. Probably his buddies are submitting him for the Squirrel Darwin Awards right now...

That looks like an awesome honeymoon!

At 29 May, 2008, Blogger Karen said...

Congrats on the cigarette thing. I am on day 3 smoke free right now. It honestly hasn't been so bad, but the weekend is going to be hell. Your post gave me support.

At 29 May, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read your cigarette dialog in my head like the honda element and the animals talk together. Thats just the way the conversation went in my head. Thought I would share.

The bouquet is insanely gorgeous and I'm so jealous of a cruise!! Sounds like the most perfect honeymoon! (not sure if my grammar is correct at all, don't mind me)

At 29 May, 2008, Blogger Unknown said...

Sorry about the squiirel I hit one with my significant other in the car a few years ago and he still calls me squirrel killer to this day. Hoop is way more cool than he was..

I love the flowers, bery simply and elegant. Enjoy the planning, you still have time.

Congrats on the smoking I am very happy for you.

At 30 May, 2008, Blogger Mary said...

dude I hit and killed a squirrel today too. First time ever. Well I did kill a heron once, but that dummy wandered on to I-5 where traffic was going 75....

this time was up the street from the montessori school. I felt so bad.

rock on with da nonsmoking bit!

ps, you WILL get all your shit done for the wedding. I know it!

At 30 May, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Way to go on the non-smoking! Your conversation with cigarettes cracked me up.
Those are some beautiful flowers, and HOORAY for the cruise!

It's bad enough to bump over roadkill. I feel like throwing up when that happens. I've yet to hit a live one with my car, although a fox AND a large snake crossed the road in front of me last night...WEIRD!!! Not sure what that was all about...

At 30 May, 2008, Blogger g-man said...

Good for you on the smoking. It has been 10 years and I still have the occasional dream that I am smoking. (I like to hang out with smokers and get a little second hand action) Just keep your eye on the prize.

Get a move on with the wedding! Get your passport today! It can take a while.

Our honeymoon cruise went that way too. (not to Belize though) but to Cozumel and Cancun. It was a total blast. Make sure to tell them that you are honeymooners!

Come see my blog RE: dead rodents, you'll feel better.

At 30 May, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just know you won't believe this but I went on that exact same boat. Only we didn't get to go to Belize, we went to Georgetown. They could be the same place for all I know. I have proof!

Sorry about the critter dude. He's in a better place now.

At 30 May, 2008, Blogger mrspao said...

Nope - can't seem to get rid of that Klingon and bouquet picture now...

Sounds like an amazing cruise - you lucky things!

At 30 May, 2008, Blogger Mike said...

The only reason I would feel worse about killing a human over an innocent squirrel is that accidentally killing a human still gets you a manslaughter charge and jail time in my country.

Also, I've been 2.5 years smoke free myself... quite the feat. Good for you. At 80, I'll split a pack with you, fair?

At 30 May, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You were the topic of this morning's conversation between Foo & I, so I thought I'd pop in to check on ya.

OMG! I'm a basket case when it comes to killing and killed animals. Just ask Foo. I even rescued another cat, and I'm all worked up, wondering if he'll get adopted into a loving home.

Congrats on successfully quitting smoking! You are so much better off without 'em.

Thanks for the wedding update! I loved the planning, picking things out, making it all special. The honeymoon was the greatest. However, we did Disney World & a Disney Cruise.

Be sure to book a tour on the cruise. Don't just go out on your own, or you'll be the target of pickpockets!!! Get a fanny pack for Hoop and tell him not to put the $ in his pockets. Just ask Foo. He was groped and didn't enjoy it.

Happy Wedding Planning!!!

At 30 May, 2008, Blogger Jules said...

Hooray for no cigarettes!

And... get your passports now! I work in government, and had to help a couple of brides get their passports the day before their wedding last summer!!! YOU DON'T WANT THAT STRESS. Do it this weekend. Get your pictures, go to the post office and get the applications (or online) and send them off so you'll have snazzy little books of federal identification!

(Seriously though, don't put that one off, the State Department has passport delays which can be problematic!!)

At 30 May, 2008, Blogger Unknown said...

Love the bouquet that will be awesome.
Top on your priorities get the PASSPORT now, the delays are wicked, so do not wait.
Everything else will start falling into place. I pulled off our wedding in only 4 months.
Now, maybe you should stop conversing with the cigarettes, and yes they have tons of nuts in heaven!

At 30 May, 2008, Blogger Tawcan said...

Don't think about smoking, just think how much money you've saved so far. That's quite a bit of money, I'd never imagine smoking costs that much money.

The honeymoon cruise sounds like it's going to be one fabulous time! :)

At 30 May, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congrats to you on the upcoming vows AND especially for the lack of ciggie!

Have a great weekend!

At 30 May, 2008, Blogger Reb said...

Good for you for being a reformed smoker! (I will get there soon.) Love the flowers, the cruise looks wonderful. At least it wasn't anything big enough to damage your pretty new car!

At 30 May, 2008, Blogger Eric Shonkwiler said...

Your conversations, above and below, are hilarious.

Been on several Royal Caribbean cruises. Not shabby, by any means. You'll have a blast.

At 30 May, 2008, Blogger Tequila Mockingbird said...

hmm... i know this will make me sound liek a dick, but squirrels are cuter than some humans.

anyway, moving right along.. cruises rock ass. ive been on two of them, both carribbean, and fo' realz' homey g funk, it's good times.

At 31 May, 2008, Blogger Chatty said...

Awww. The ciggies are lonely. Tough for the ciggies - fantastic for you! The ciggies were right about one thing - you ARE funny! Very funny!
I went on my very first cruise on my honeymoon as well - only the "Mexican Riviera", but it was fabulous. You are going to love it. You will want to go again and again, and that will take money. Selling the dog may start looking like an option once you become a cruise-junkie...

At 31 May, 2008, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

That great about being smoke-free for so long! I am proud of you!

That cruise looks fun. I have never been on a cruise, but I am afraid of the ocean, so I will probably never go on one. Haha!

At 01 June, 2008, Blogger Real Live Lesbian said...

Belize?! How fun is that gonna be! You'll love it's tropical, green, beautiful! And they speak English!

Congrats on the quitting! I'm sure Ciggy's still pissed.

Those flowers are gorgeous! You're going to have a great wedding!

At 01 June, 2008, Blogger gary rith said...

I bet your lungs thank you and your breath smells great now and maybe Hoop wants to kiss you all day long.

At 02 June, 2008, Blogger Jess Riley said...

Aw, poor Hoop and his squirrel incident! I know just how he feels.

Congrats on being smoke-free and all the fun wedding plans!!!! So, so exciting. :) (Loved the conversation between you and your old ciggie pal.)

At 02 June, 2008, Blogger Jo said...

Yay for you on quitting the cigs! It's nice you guys are still civil though :P

Oh it's so great that you're going on an exotic cruise--you & Hoop are going to have the time of your life! Weddings make people crazy, but you've been so down to earth about it...that's why it's all going to be absolutely beautiful & a lot of fun too.

At 02 June, 2008, Blogger Bret said...

Humor always works to lighten the feeling of loss, so here you go:

Q: What's the last thing to go through a squirrel's brain when it gets run over by a car?

A: The asphalt.

Wow. That totally doesn't work when you switch from a fly hitting your windshield, does it?

Never mind.

At 02 June, 2008, Blogger Newt said...

Ohhh, I don't suppose we can all come on this cruise with you guys eh?

At 03 June, 2008, Blogger Kelly said...

Congrats on not smoking!

I got married around the time you quit, and just last night threw out our wedding planner/book. Being an incredibly organized person, things were pretty easy for us. But, I lost the planner about three months before the wedding. Didn't find it until going through stuff about three months after. Guess it wasn't that important. :) It still felt great to throw out the book last night.

I really need to get back to you about your veil... I haven't forgotten you, I promise!

At 03 June, 2008, Blogger Christy said...

I have a theory on squirrels. It's all a part of some sort of squirrel frat. When new ones want to join part of their hazing is to se how long they can wait before they dart out in front of a car as it gets closer. I see this type of thing happen all the time. Birds do something similar, except they fly out windshield level.

At 04 June, 2008, Blogger Saffa Chick said...

I have been smoke-free for 9 years, 6 months, 5 days... and I'm still counting! After the second year the cravings stop, if that helps ;-) *snigger*

I'd just been wondering about your wedding plans - fab that they're all coming together so smoothly. 6 months to go? No worries!

I still need to finish blogging my honeymoon - 1 or 2 posts left I reckon - but how cool does your cruise sound!


Post a Comment

<< Home