Friday, December 16, 2005

Criminally Good Lookin'


May I present Evidence A: Criminally cute dog.

I'd show you Evidence B, but I really want you guys to come back sometime. Evidence B would be yet another wad of multicolored fabric covered in translucent slobber. I came home today and stared in confusion at the wad of something-inevitably-disgusting at the bottom of Duff's cage. I let him out and continued to prod the mass with a straw. "What the hell did you eat?!" It wasn't until I decided to pick it up with a napkin and Duff's spit started to seep through to my fingers, that I realized exactly what the damn thing was. Underwear.

I have lost 25 pairs of Victoria Secret thongs this year alone... All spoils in my war against the criminally good lookin' dog. There are days I close my eyes and actually imagine getting rid of his underwear eating ass. But then I open my eyes and see this face. How could I possibly resist?

"Fuckin' eat them all Duff... Just leave the ones I'm wearing alone, OK?"

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9 Comments:

At 16 December, 2005, Blogger mama_tulip said...

Victoria Secret gitch, eh? Dog's got good taste. No Wal*Mart jobbies for him, eh? ;)

 
At 16 December, 2005, Blogger Mignon said...

I'm guessing he goes for the dirty ones right? I had a dog in college that made all of my underwear crotchless. Thanks buddy.

 
At 17 December, 2005, Blogger Pixie LaRouge said...

Once upon a time, I had a cat that was obsessed with satin, lace and silk. Any time we had company over (and frequently when we didn't), he would sneak open my underwear drawer and carry things down the hall, usually when my roommate was entertaining male company. Especially charming when I walked in the front door to see him coming toward me, directly down the hall, dragging a bra behind... (And you probably really don't want to know about the condom and my mom's visit!)

I suppose I can now be grateful he didn't eat them!!

 
At 17 December, 2005, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Dirty socks and underwear - doggie heaven is lined with them.

 
At 17 December, 2005, Blogger Tink said...

Strangely enough the pup never goes for my cheap Walmart undies. Oh no... He's gotten the taste for overpriced Victoria Secret. He also likes to roll in Hoop's smelly socks. Of course I don't realize that until I bury my face into his neck for some lovin'. Mmmmm.

 
At 18 December, 2005, Anonymous TB said...

He really is cute enough to overlook the thong habit.
Where do you live in FL? My husband is from Fort Myers and we are huge Keys heads/divers. We got married in Islamorada last year. My favorite place in the US.

 
At 18 December, 2005, Blogger Tink said...

Being cute is his ONLY saving grace :). I live just south of Jacksonville. I love Florida, although everyone tells me I keep missing out on some of the greater parts. I've never been to the Keys and I've never learned how to surf, scuba, or dive.

They're all things on my check list though. I moved down from the north about 9 years ago. I keep waiting to be jaded, but honestly I'm still in love with the ocean and sunshine.

 
At 22 December, 2005, Blogger R. Robyn said...

I had this same problem with my puppy Ciara. I would wake up to her holding underwear in her mouth almost every morning. Never did she take Matt's. Just mine.

 
At 12 August, 2009, Blogger Jess said...

Never met someone else with a pet named Duff :) I have a cat who thinks he's a dog, named Duffy.

 

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