The Snotty Bean
1. Hoop and I spent the weekend watching my parent's
2. For those of you just joining us, that breaks down to ten dogs, three horses, three cats, and two kids.
3. By yesterday afternoon Hoop and I were both whining to each other, "When are they going to be home? It's tough playing farm hand!"
4. To be fair, neither of us are morning people. The only time I get up before seven is for work, and then I operate on caffeine and autopilot.
5. You can't be on autopilot when hauling three large buckets of feed to horses who would happily trample you for an alfalfa cube.
6. Saturday evening Hoop, Big Bit, Little Bit, and I drove out to the roller-skating rink.
7. It wasn't my idea.
8. I spent most of the night clutching Hoop's hand and babbling about how I was "surely" going to land on my face and bust out my teeth.
9. Hoop tried to reassure me. But I don't find responses like, "I'd take you to the hospital" or "Teeth can be fixed" that comforting.
10. And just as I was beginning to relax enough to start bending my knees a little bit...
11. ...it was time to go home.
12. Big Bit now refers to me as the "Frankenstein Skater."
13. Sunday we all went out to look at some houses with a NEW realtor.
14. The owners of the first house we looked at were laid up with Bronchitis. So we made the kids wait in the car as we shuffled through the house, trying not to breathe or touch anything in the process.
15. The owners of the next house were also home when we arrived. The husband happily volunteered to show us around. And by "us" I mean Hoop.
16. After rudely being left behind in several of the rooms and cut off from the conversations, I decided to wait in the middle of the house for everyone to finish their walk-through.
17. "Beautiful yard!" I exclaimed to the gentleman as we walked outside to leave. "It's even got a pond in the back," the man said, directing his reply over my head to Hoop.
18. On the way home, Hoop entertained the boys by stuffing his nose full of Boston Baked Beans.
19. Or maybe he was just entertaining himself.
20. Somewhere in the moments that followed, Lil Bit was dared (or perhaps he offered) to eat one of the snotty baked beans for $3.
21. "Sure!" Hoop declared, plucking the candy from his nose. "NO," I mouthed at him. My gag reflex was already starting to kick in.
22. He smiled back devilishly, plucking a fresh bean from the bag without the boys noticing. "Money first!" Lil Bit called out, taking the bean in his hand gingerly.
23. Then he ate it.
24. We were all so grossed out we forgot to tell him (until five minutes later) that Hoop had switched the beans. He didn't seem to care either way. He had his money.
25. Of course I called my Mom directly after. "Do you know what YOUR littlest son just did?!" I announced into the two-way. "You mean YOUR little brother?" She laughed back.
26. Damn. She's got a point.
Contest courtesy of Odd Mix:
The days of this being our "home" are winding down.
The bond between a boy and his horse.
(Some Random Weekend Pictures)
Hoop's "What Is This?" Game:
(Answer for last week: Popcorn ball mix)
Countdown Until Hoop And I Are Homeless: 15 Days