Monday, October 30, 2006

Totally Useless Information

Also known as...

FAQs About Tink:

1. Do you know how to change the tire on your vehicle? I do, in theory. When I got my first car, a 1985 Plymouth Reliant relic, I was eager to learn all there was about car maintenance. I learned how to change a tire, check the oil, and Armor-All the seats for maximum slippage. Of course none of that came in handy when my water pump broke, the belts snapped, and I lost power steering. Such is life.

2. Why can't I stop thinking about the kissing homeless people? Because I've been trained in the art of mental imprinting. Mwahaha!

3. What's the weirdest place you've ever done it? On top of a picnic table. There was so much graffiti on the awning above us I couldn't concentrate. I kept interrupting to read things like, "I did your sister here" and "Freshmen Rule!"

4. What's the most public place you've ever done it? On the beach under a full moon. The glare off the white sand was so bright I could see for miles. Of course that was nothing compared to the glare off my pasty body. I'm sure that's NOT what the tourists had in mind when they heard they were going to be seeing the "sights."

5. Where would you love to do it? When I was young and dumb (and evidently deranged) I had fantasies of getting it on in a tub full of milk. Maybe I thought it would give me healthy skin? I don't know. Nowadays I'd settle for somewhere with a fantastic view, and privacy.

6. How many things are on your "to do" list before you die? How many things have you scratched off? My daily "To-Do" list is over a page long. So you can only imagine how large my LIFETIME one is! I don't ever expect to scratch it all off though. I believe everyone should have something to look forward to. The last thing on my list is sky-diving... Just in case it really is the last thing I do.

7. Name 3 people, not related to you or that live in your house, famous or not, that inspire you. Just three? I'm inspired by many writers: Kurt Vonnegut, Fannie Flagg, Jean M. Auel, Paulo Coelho, Morgan Llywellyn, Douglas Adams, C.S. Lewis, Lois Lowry, HG Wells. It is a dream of mine to have something published one day. I admire those who've accomplished that. I especially respect those who write well enough to transport me out of the moment, or get me to think in a different way.

8. What is your biggest guilty pleasure? Blogging and picking my nose. Both are SO fulfilling, and yet very few people know I do them.

9. What's the meaning of life? 42, duh.

10. If a train leaves Boston at 4:57 pm EST and heads southwest at 81.123 mph and another train leaves San Diego at 5:32 pm PST and heads Northeast at 55.49 Kph at what time will it be that Santa Claus reaches his 100th house in Wichita? I was under the impression Santa steered clear of Kansas. No one wants to end up like Toto. Poor Toto.

11. If you could go back in time and change one, JUST ONE, decision would you and what would it be? My knee jerk reaction is to say, "I wouldn't change anything, because that might change who I am." But that's bullshit. I know EXACTLY what I would change. I would go back to fourth grade. It was two weeks before Christmas, and we were all standing in line at the school gift shop with our borrowed money. I had picked out a really "nifty" unicorn necklace for my Mom. Then I realized I had to pee, bad. I asked my teacher if I could go, but she insisted I make my purchase first. The alternative was not to buy gifts. So I stuck it out for three more minutes. Then I pissed all over myself... Not to mention on the shoes of the kids standing next to me and the rolls of quarters I had laid out on the floor. If I could go back in time, I would have sat on the lap of that old bat instead.

12. Just exactly what is pickled beef and have you ever prepared or eaten it? Pickled Beef is often referred to as
Corned Beef or Brined Beef, and usually has the word "tongue" following it. I have never eaten nor prepared this dish. Something about serving up specified body parts grosses me out. "Would you like some tongue? No? How about an arm or a nose?"

13. Are there ever days when you and Hoop don't have a conversation that's blogable? All the time. Fortunately my life (and those in it) lend other things to blog about. I imagine some day I'll run out of things to talk about. Then we'll all sit around and stare at each other... Or rather our screens. Let's hope that's a long way off.

14. How tall are you? How tall is Hoop? I am 5 foot, 4 inches. Hoop is 5 foot, 8 inches. I don't where heels that often. ;)

15. Who does your hair? The same gal who's done it for the last seven years. I used to wear it really short and spiky. Now that I've grown it out, I wear it in a pony tail 90% of the time. I'd cut it, but I'd rather wait until it's at least long enough to donate.

16. What sort of different things are you looking for in your new house purchase? Hoop and I are looking for something slightly larger, with more land, and not built on a toxic waste dump. Did I mention I saw a lizard on our fence with TWO heads?

17. How did you get so brave? (remember the fight at the hotel when you were on vacation?) I've always considered myself really stupid and lucky. The "stupid" part makes it appear that I'm brave. The "lucky" part keeps it that way.

18. When you are walking on the beaches that are mostly shells, are you barefoot? Do you have to wear shoes? Does it hurt if you don't wear shoes? The ocean tends to round anything it plays with. So very rarely do we step on anything sharp enough to hurt. There's always the odd occasion. It's worth it though! Shoes are too easily lost in the hills of sand, and squishing your toes in the stuff is highly therapeutic.

19. Were you always this good at relationships? Because you and Hoop make it seem like second nature to be perfect together. Egad, NO. I was notorious for taking on strays and sticking in relationships (intimate and friendly) that were not healthy. I'm fortunate to have Hoop. He's the only person that's ever "gotten" me. He breaks my foulest moods with laughter and makes every day an adventure. Sometimes you have to fish awhile before you catch anything good. The trick is not to give up and don't settle for the small shit.

20. Is your favorite food sushi? It's one of them. I get burned out on foods pretty quickly. I'll eat them until I O.D. and can't eat them again for six more months. So my favorite foods tend to change often.

21. Are you scared of anything?

Reaching into the garbage disposal.
Having an embarrassing death (like, "Chopped up by garbage disposal.")

22. Do you make up the Hoop conversations? Nope. They're 100% all natural. Believe it or not.

23. Do you plan on having any kids? How many would you have? I'd love to have kids someday. I always imagined I'd have three. But I'm not fool enough to think I know that for sure :).

Thanks to everyone who participated! You guys are awesome. Feel free to email if you have any more.

Contest courtesy of
Odd Mix:

A "lame" roadside attraction...

...compared to this "beautiful" one.

Late last night we sat around a bonfire.

If you stare at it long enough it begins to resemble a fiery waterfall.

(Some Random Weekend Pictures)

Just Because

Fountain, Blue

A Bunch Of Cocks

Paper Wings

I'm running a bit behind today, so look for the "Weekend Recap" tomorrow!


At 30 October, 2006, Anonymous Ch3ll3 said...

Excellent Q&A session! Loved it. I feel like I know you just a little bit better than before. (I also love your answer about 'fishing around a while'. Your Hoop is a quality guy like my Brent is. Aren't we lucky women?)

At 30 October, 2006, Blogger mamalujo1 said...

I was wondering when you were going to appear! Such pretty pictures. Especially the Cocks. What kind of camera do you use?

At 30 October, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

Really brilliant answers. That was a lot of fun to read.

Love the bonfire picture. It does look like a fiery waterfall.

At 30 October, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

Ok, I had to come back because I suddenly remembered the the other things I was going to comment about. It happens when you get older.

My first car was a 1981 Plymouth Reliant K. First generation K-car! What a hunk of junk!

Also, I noticed that people were far more interested in your sexual adventures and sex life than mine. Gee ... I wonder why THAT is?? hahaha

At 30 October, 2006, Blogger Kell said...

Loved reading your Q&A. Thanks for sharing with us. Loved the photos too, as always.

At 30 October, 2006, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

I was thinking the same thing, Jay! Mwahaha!

No, Tink, those were some really great questions and answers. I, too, am afraid of clowns (thanks to the Poltergeist), and spiders. Well, mostly anything that creepy-crawls (I know, not a word).

Great pictures, too!

At 30 October, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

Have I told you lately how much I adore you? You impress the shit out of me. Also the pictures of the fire and the flower below it are stunning.

At 30 October, 2006, Blogger Gracey said...

I always wondered about the "Pickled Beef" title of your blog, just never asked about it. You are definitely an imaginative writer....ever thought about writing children's books??? I think you would do an excellent job of it.

At 30 October, 2006, Blogger gawilli said...

"Sometimes you have to fish awhile before you catch anything good. The trick is not to give up and don't settle for the small shit." Outstanding advice. I will make note of this!

I had a K-Car for awhile. I had picked it up for $350.00 thinking one of the kids could learn to drive in it. Little did I know it would be my mode of transportation at the most "broke" time of my life. The heater core died and all of the antifreeze poured out onto the floorboards daily. It was awful, although it did get me by until I could afford a real automobile. Boy, I had forgotten about those days.

Love the pictures!

At 30 October, 2006, Blogger mjd said...

Your pictures are beautiful even the lame roadside attraction.

At 30 October, 2006, Blogger EE said...

Awww...I loved reading your answers (although the bath tub and milk thing was ummm...interesting *snort*). What a great idea. If I didn't think I was opening the door to a TON of hate mail, LMAO, I'd do the same thing.

Anyways...I'll have to come back to see your pics, or look at them from you know who's comp. I can't get them to load on mine.


At 31 October, 2006, Blogger Mike Y said...

Great pics Tink! And my first car(s) were a 1978 pea green Pinto and a 1977 Dodge Ram Charger. The Pinto was for the winter time because it had a heater and a roof ;) The Dodge had AC and a sun hole, LOL! Apparently, the person who installed the sun roof, cut the hole to the outer dimensions of the roof. Needless to say, it leaked.

And um... a nose picker, huh? Nice ;)

And the sand there really is nice to walk on. Now, I'd hate to walk on the sand in Cocoa Beach. That was pretty coarse sand and I never quite liked the way it felt.

You should try sky diving. I'm terrified of heights and yet I enjoy it. I took a good friend sky diving the weekend before her 30th birthday. It was on her list of things to do before turning it. The thing to know is that what you think you might fear isn't valid at 10,000 to 15,000 feet. When they open the door for you to jump, there's no sense of height up there. It isn't like looking off a roof top. And you can jump strapped to an experienced person. There's very little to fear.

At 31 October, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

There is always something new to learn about our beloved tink.

At 31 October, 2006, Blogger Kim: The Mom, The Myth said...

DUDE!! My first car was an '83 Reliant! Grey with maroon plastic interior. Rock ON!

My weirdest place as also a picnic table, but mine was at the Knights of Columbus hall. Oops.

At 31 October, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Wow, I'm taller than Hoop! LOL. And I'm totally phobic about garbage disposals. I'm actually glad not to have one in my condo.

Gorgeous pictures, as always!!

At 31 October, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

Good to know that other people share the garbage disposal fear. That was a very fun post to read.
Great pictures too. I love the picture of the stream with the little bridge. It's FANTASTIC!

At 31 October, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

I do the same thing with favorite it until I get burned out, and then move onto something else.

The photos are truly gorgeous.

At 31 October, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Ch3ll3: Your new screen name reminds me of all the passwords at work. I swear our IT person gets her jollies off of confusing me... Not like that's hard to do ;). For example, "B to the E" becomes "B2th33", "Bacardi" becomes "B@c@rd1", and "Screw You" becomes "5c3w Y00."

Mamalujo1: I use a Cannon Power Shot SD700 IS. Otherwise known as, "Balls." It takes really good pictures... for a digital. I'm still partial to the clarity of my Cannon Rebel though. There's nothing quite like the depth of film.

Jay: If it makes you feel any better, those three questions were all from the same person :D. I had a love/hate relationship with my Reliant. It was an awful powder blue color for one, and totally square for another. But man was it cheap to run and fix. I'd go back to having that luxury in a heartbeat.

Chelle Y: "IT" was what did it for me *shudder*. I'd like to meet someone who ISNT afraid of clowns.

TB: That, coming from YOU, means so much.

Gracey: That may be what "Pickled Beef" means, but it's not how I got the title for this blog. Check out my profile. I have a link to my very first post (and the reason for the name) there. It's pretty ridiculous. I think I'd be happy writing just about anything. Lately I've been playing around with adult fairy tales. But I might try my hand at something else soon. It's good to mix it up. Keeps the brain "fresh."

Gawilli: The good thing about K-Cars is that they're resilient. I got rear ended by a truck one day. He demolished his front end... I just lost a bumper. It doesn't mean I'd run out and buy another any time soon. I got pretty sick of elderly people giving me the thumbs up every time they saw me driving it around. Although I never had to be the designated driver for my friends. They were too embarrassed.

Mike Y: A sun HOLE? LOL! This guy I knew always called his car the Flintstone-Mobile. I could never figure out why though. Until one day I took a ride in his hoop-d. There was a huge gaping hole where the passenger's feet should go. He asked me, "Ready to run? I'll steer!"

Kim: We should form a crappy car club! I never knew there were so many others.

Chris + Newt: I like garbage disposals, they're really handy, I just wont use them if there's anyone near the switch. Hoop laughs because I always ask him to leave the kitchen before I turn it on.

At 31 October, 2006, Blogger graymama said...

Thank you for the laughs and the "Just Because." I needed them both today.

At 02 November, 2006, Anonymous OddMix said...

Great pictures, Tink. Sorry I haven't been by - life ran me over.

7. I think you should finish up TT and submit it for publication.

9. But what is the question/

11. *snort*


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