Under The Rug
1. Thursday night Hoop's AG (Alzheimer Grandfather) passed out at the dinner table and couldn't be roused.
2. The hospital is pretty sure it was a heart attack, although they can't be sure. Naturally, AG has no memory of it.
3. When we went to visit, Hoop and I expected the worst. I envisioned a bedridden old man hooked up to feeding tubes, monitors, a *shudder* catheter.
4. Instead we were greeted at the door by a cheerful "Hello!" and the sight of AG rushing around his room as if on crack, moving the bed and unplugging things...
5. ...including his I.V.
6. He was under the impression the nurses were screwing things up just to spite him. "That doesn't get plugged in there. Don't they know anything? It goes over here!"
7. He also believed his wife had stuck him in the hospital so she could have some peace and quiet.
8. We assured him there were much cheaper ways of doing that.
9. AG's going under the knife today to get a new pacemaker. Keep him in your thoughts for us.
10. Although he probably doesn't need it. The man has a profound will to live. He's probably going to outlast Hoop and I.
11. Friday, Hoop and I went out to go clothes shopping for his new job.
12. I realized within the first thirty minutes that I didn't know nearly as much as I'd thought...
13. ...and that Hoop knew even less.
14. Fortunately, a gentleman at JC Penny's took pity on us and gave instructions on the basic needs of someone starting out in the corporate world.
15. Which of course included NOTHING of what we'd previously bought. Fuck!
16. Thank God we have that Money Tree.
17. On the way into the mall we stopped by a place called "Puppy Village."
18. It consisted of one dirty and dimly lit room. In the middle of that room were 20-25 plastic kiddie houses lined up in a circle. Each plastic house contained a different breed of puppy.
19. The place should have been named "Puppy Mill Village."
20. Then we came across a group of people admiring a tiny bird that had run into a glass window.
21. As I picked it up to relocate it Hoop chimed in with, "It probably has the bird flu."
22. A man nearby took three steps back and told us to "have a nice day."
23. I'm assuming the bird was OK. It was gone when we got out.
24. Saturday at 10 Hoop and I were awoken by the sound of the phone.
25. Yeah you heard me, 10. We go to bed late, OK?
26. It was the real estate agency. There were prospective buyers on the way.
27. In a sleepy haze I asked, "WHO is this?!" It's been a month since anyone came to look at the house. I think I forgot the house was even for sale.
28. After requesting a 30 minute delay, Hoop and sprinted through the house picking up dishes and dirty clothes. 20 minutes later we parked down the street with the dogs, tired and pant-less. I was too concerned with cleaning to think about clothes.
29. 15 minutes after that, with no sign of the buyers, I called the real estate agency back. "Oh yeah! They called and canceled." The realtor replied.
30. I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or just crawl back into bed.
31. Saturday night we all went out to celebrate MY Grandfather's birthday.
32. The restaurant we always meet at has the most awful food. But it's a good central point, so we continue going.
33. That night I made the mistake of ordering the soft shell crab sandwich.
34. I didn't know "soft shell" meant that they'd cook the crab WHOLE.
35. I knew something was wrong the moment I took off the bun and saw a deep fried patty with two claw shaped lumps sticking out.
36. But I'm adventurous... and cheap. I figured if I was being charged for it, I might as well try it.
37. I took a bite. *CRUNCH* As I pulled away from the sandwich a piece of soggy shell dangled off my lip. I almost puked.
38. I think I'll order a salad next time.
39. Jump ahead to this morning... Hoop started his new job at a financial company!
40. He woke me up at 6:30 to announce that he could see his nipples through his shirt.
41. Evidently we'd remembered to buy everything BUT undershirts.
42. After a quick wardrobe change Hoop was on his way.
43. Once he'd left I walked around the house picking up the trail of disguarded tags that ran from the bathroom, to the bedroom, to the closet, to the hallway, to the kitchen...
44. Think he was nervous this morning? ;)
Contest courtesy of Odd Mix:
Hello (New Friend)
(Some Random Weekend Pictures)
Nothing But Time
Tomorrow, a meme passed to me from Mamalujo1.