Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Where Shit Meets Fan

Round One: They cut AG open yesterday only to realize the new pacemaker was too big. So they stuffed the old faulty one back in and sewed him up. Um... Shouldn't they have thought this thing out a little better before putting an 80-something year old man under and then cutting him up for no fucking reason?

Shit takes a running leap at Fan.

Round Two:
Emma's new family has decided they don't want her anymore. Evidently the puppy they bought when they rescued her is a lot more "appealing." The worst part is, they didn't even contact my family to see if we wanted her. Instead they're donating her to a hunting friend of theirs who already has 10 hounds. Poor Emma. Where will she end up next?

Fan counters with several chopping motions.

Round Three: Yesterday after work I cooked, cleaned, swept, did two loads of laundry, one load of dishes, made lunches for two (one with a cute little "I love you" note in it), and helped Hoop pick out an outfit for today. This morning I made the beds, fed the dogs, unloaded the dishwasher, picked up the clothes Hoop had thrown out of the dryer and THEN got ready for work. Is it any wonder I have "What have you done for me lately?" running through my head?

Shit covers Fan... Shit wins.

Not Far From The Tree:
Tink: Guess what Hoop's job is making him do next week.
Mom: Oh no, what?
Tink: Dress up like Caesar!
Mom: Caesar?
Tink: Evidently it's for some kind of "Customer Appreciation Week."
Mom: The guy who won't dress up for Halloween will be going to work in a TOGA?
Tink: *Snort* Uh huh.
Mom: I hate companies like that. I once worked for an office that believed in morning meetings where everyone hugged each other.
Tink: I don't like people talking to me in the morning, let alone touching me.
Mom: Yeah I said "screw this shit" and quit after two days.

Tagged by
Mamalujo1 (Who's currently on hiatus. The ass.):

The Great Book Meme

1) One book that changed your life: I began the
"Clan Of The Cave Bear" series (by Jean M. Auel) when I was in the fifth grade. As I've mentioned before, I wasn't a popular kid. I had long stringy blonde hair and coke-bottle glasses. I was book smart, but didn't really have a clear sense of self. Ayla was someone I could look up to. She taught perseverance, ingenuity, and that all people have the capability of discovering something divine within themselves. I've read the series four times over the last 13 years.

2) One book that you would read more than once:
"The Ultimate Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy" by Douglas Adams. No matter how many times you read this book you'll always find new things to love about it.

3) One book you'd want on a deserted island:
"How To Build A Wooden Boat" by David McIntosh and Samuel Manning. Because let's face it, if I'm on a deserted island the first thing I'm going to want is to get the hell off of it. Of course if that book isn't available I'd settle for Papa Bear's Military Survival Guide too.

4) One book that made you laugh:
"Fried Green Tomatoes at The Whistlestop Cafe" by Fannie Flagg. The book is so well written you become totally immersed in the story and the characters. I skipped out on meals and sleep just so I could finish it in one day. Then I read it all over again just to soak it in.

5) One book that made you cry:
"Snow Flower and The Secret Fan" by Lisa See. The story takes place in 19th century China where footbinding and arranged marriages are common practice. It leads you through the lives of two very different girls who were bound for life and broken by miscommunication. I really love this novel, not just for the historical view points, but because we all have our "feet bound" in some way. Often we follow what is expected of us, never questioning whether it's right or wrong.

6) One book you wish you'd written:
"Roots" by Alex Haley. Besides the fact that it's a beautifully written piece about the hardships of African American slaves in America... I would LOVE to see the look on people's faces after I announce that little ol' white me is the author of it.

7) One book you wish had never been written:
"The Rules" by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, some of the biggest bullshit ever published. When this book first came out gullible women everywhere started hopping on the bandwagon. Not only did the book's "get married to Mr. Right quick" scheme backfire for most of those who practiced it, but one of the authors ended up getting a divorce!

8) One book you're currently reading: Nothing at the moment. I haven't had time. :(

9) One book you've been meaning to read:
"Kushiel's Scion" by Jacqueline Carey. I don't usually buy books based on the cover. We all know the old adage for that one. But "Kushiel's Dart," the first book of this series, had such a beautiful cover I couldn't resist. I would have been satisfied if the book had been crap, so long as I could have the picture on the front. Fortunately, the book was wonderful and I zipped right through all three. I plan on picking up this latest edition once it's a little less expensive.


At 17 October, 2006, Blogger V said...

Good lord! They just stuffed the old one back in? What the hell is that? Discount doctoring? Used parts...no waiting!

At 17 October, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

That operation is a freebie right? I mean, hello!

I love the book meme. Of course I have to steal that one.

Poor Emma. Anyone up for some late night doggie napping? I'm sure we can sneak her out. He won't notice I mean, he has 10 already.

At 17 October, 2006, Blogger Lloydus said...

Hey Tink

Awesome post! really the whole shit hits the fan thing. Inspired, really. Sorry to hear about AG. Sometimes I'm ashamed to be a med student. Douglas Adams though, what a card, amazing amazing, amazing. I'm sleep deprived, I get manic when I'm sleep deprived.

At 17 October, 2006, Anonymous mamatulip said...

Yeah, I hope that operation was heavily discounted...


At 17 October, 2006, Blogger Mike Y said...

Cracks me up, that conversation with your mom. I've never worked for a place like that, though I've wondered what it'd be like to have to do something like that. But I can pretty much dress up every day for work in a toga if I want to. One of the benefits of working from home ;)

At 17 October, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

I read Clan of the Cave Bear in 5th grade too. Racy stuff, and I've never cried harder than at the ending when she leaves her little boy. In fact, when I read this meme at Mamalujo's, that's the first book I thought of for #5.

So sorry for Grampa! Reminds me of how I can never tell the difference between C and D batteries and I'm always trying to put D's in Madeleine's Matchbox Cars track. Which is not really the same, at all...

At 17 October, 2006, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

That's sick about Hoop's grandpa. Poor guy! I hope he'll be feeling better soon.

You need to post a picture of Hoop in his Toga! Haha!

At 17 October, 2006, Anonymous OddMix said...

Poor AG. What a bunch of idjits.

FM 21-76: Survival, Evasion, and Escape ROCKS! I read the cover off my coppy when I was in high school.

At 17 October, 2006, Anonymous Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

I love the book meme. I wish everyone would do this. I learn so much about people this way.

At 17 October, 2006, Blogger mamalujo1 said...

So now if I ask for a kiss, essentially I'm telling you to kiss my ass!?

At 17 October, 2006, Anonymous Snookie said...

Don't they usually have to make very specific plans before doing surgery? I bet they got into that medical marijuana before the surgery. That would explain everything! Stupid doctors.

Praying for AG.

At 17 October, 2006, Anonymous eric said...

i've learned (the hard way) to put the clothes back in the dryer.


At 17 October, 2006, Blogger Heather said...

Sending good vibes your way... hoping things are not so "shitty" tomorrow!!

At 17 October, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

That's unbelievable about AG. I mean, how the hell do they screw that up? Somebody should have his ass hauled in front of the state Med Baord.

Love the book meme.

At 17 October, 2006, Anonymous wordgirl said...

I loved "Snow Flower & the Secret Fan". I read it last year and I was completely engrossed in it.

At 17 October, 2006, Blogger gawilli said...

Maybe yesterday AG knew something everyone else didn't when he thought the nurses were screwing things up...only it was the doctors instead. Unbelieveable. No one should have to deal with that.

At 18 October, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

That was so sweet of you to make Hoop lunch.

Mom: "I said screw this shit" Your mom rocks.

At 18 October, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

Oh man, if Hoop will allow it, PLEASE post a photo.

Also, I so hear you on the What have you done for me thing. Especially now that I'm making a lot less money and feel it's more my obligation to do all that shit, even though I did it all before when I was making a good salary. Sometimes I really hate traditional gender roles.

At 18 October, 2006, Blogger EE said...

The ordeal w/ AG and the pacemaker is just *wrong*! Like...OMFG! Yeah, it's like think people, THINK! HELLO!?

I had to LOL at your convo w/ your mom, that is too funny.

At 19 October, 2006, Blogger FA said...

What on earth were the doctors thinking? Hope he's ok.

One company I worked for decided Friday afternoon at 4pm was the best time for staff meetings. WTF? How was I supposed to sneak out early?

At 19 October, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

I can't get over the operation story!

I really dislike touchy-feely corporate stuff. Get in, act professional, and get out so that we can all go home and act like the freaks we really are. Isn't that the way it should be?

At 20 October, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Wait, you guys picked up all that business attire for Hoop, and he's wearing a toga to work next week?!

*blink blink*

At 20 October, 2006, Blogger mrspao said...

Are you sure you aren't in the UK? That is the sort of operation our NHS would do.

Poor AG. Poor Emma - I hope she finds a permanent and loving home properly.


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