Where Shit Meets Fan

Round One: They cut AG open yesterday only to realize the new pacemaker was too big. So they stuffed the old faulty one back in and sewed him up. Um... Shouldn't they have thought this thing out a little better before putting an 80-something year old man under and then cutting him up for no fucking reason?

Shit takes a running leap at Fan.

Round Two: Emma's new family has decided they don't want her anymore. Evidently the puppy they bought when they rescued her is a lot more "appealing." The worst part is, they didn't even contact my family to see if we wanted her. Instead they're donating her to a hunting friend of theirs who already has 10 hounds. Poor Emma. Where will she end up next?

Fan counters with several chopping motions.

Round Three: Yesterday after work I cooked, cleaned, swept, did two loads of laundry, one load of dishes, made lunches for two (one with a cute little "I love you" note in it), and helped Hoop pick out an outfit for today. This morning I made the beds, fed the dogs, unloaded the dishwasher, picked up the clothes Hoop had thrown out of the dryer and THEN got ready for work. Is it any wonder I have "What have you done for me lately?" running through my head?

Shit covers Fan... Shit wins.

Not Far From The Tree:
Tink: Guess what Hoop's job is making him do next week.
Mom: Oh no, what?
Tink: Dress up like Caesar!
Mom: Caesar?
Tink: Evidently it's for some kind of "Customer Appreciation Week."
Mom: The guy who won't dress up for Halloween will be going to work in a TOGA?
Tink: *Snort* Uh huh.
Mom: I hate companies like that. I once worked for an office that believed in morning meetings where everyone hugged each other.
Tink: I don't like people talking to me in the morning, let alone touching me.
Mom: Yeah I said "screw this shit" and quit after two days.

Tagged by Mamalujo1 (Who's currently on hiatus. The ass.):

The Great Book Meme

1) One book that changed your life: I began the "Clan Of The Cave Bear" series (by Jean M. Auel) when I was in the fifth grade. As I've mentioned before, I wasn't a popular kid. I had long stringy blonde hair and coke-bottle glasses. I was book smart, but didn't really have a clear sense of self. Ayla was someone I could look up to. She taught perseverance, ingenuity, and that all people have the capability of discovering something divine within themselves. I've read the series four times over the last 13 years.

2) One book that you would read more than once: "The Ultimate Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy" by Douglas Adams. No matter how many times you read this book you'll always find new things to love about it.

3) One book you'd want on a deserted island: "How To Build A Wooden Boat" by David McIntosh and Samuel Manning. Because let's face it, if I'm on a deserted island the first thing I'm going to want is to get the hell off of it. Of course if that book isn't available I'd settle for Papa Bear's Military Survival Guide too.

4) One book that made you laugh: "Fried Green Tomatoes at The Whistlestop Cafe" by Fannie Flagg. The book is so well written you become totally immersed in the story and the characters. I skipped out on meals and sleep just so I could finish it in one day. Then I read it all over again just to soak it in.

5) One book that made you cry: "Snow Flower and The Secret Fan" by Lisa See. The story takes place in 19th century China where footbinding and arranged marriages are common practice. It leads you through the lives of two very different girls who were bound for life and broken by miscommunication. I really love this novel, not just for the historical view points, but because we all have our "feet bound" in some way. Often we follow what is expected of us, never questioning whether it's right or wrong.

6) One book you wish you'd written: "Roots" by Alex Haley. Besides the fact that it's a beautifully written piece about the hardships of African American slaves in America... I would LOVE to see the look on people's faces after I announce that little ol' white me is the author of it.

7) One book you wish had never been written: "The Rules" by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, some of the biggest bullshit ever published. When this book first came out gullible women everywhere started hopping on the bandwagon. Not only did the book's "get married to Mr. Right quick" scheme backfire for most of those who practiced it, but one of the authors ended up getting a divorce!

8) One book you're currently reading: Nothing at the moment. I haven't had time. :(

9) One book you've been meaning to read: "Kushiel's Scion" by Jacqueline Carey. I don't usually buy books based on the cover. We all know the old adage for that one. But "Kushiel's Dart," the first book of this series, had such a beautiful cover I couldn't resist. I would have been satisfied if the book had been crap, so long as I could have the picture on the front. Fortunately, the book was wonderful and I zipped right through all three. I plan on picking up this latest edition once it's a little less expensive.