Wednesday, October 18, 2006

ADverse Side Effects

(Thank you Folioweekly for providing the blog fodder.)

Women Seeking Men:

FOR ALL SEASONS. Beautiful, intelligent blonde, 5'4", smoldering green eyes, seeks chemistry with man (45-55) who is financially stable, does not smoke/drink and can impress a lady who will be your friend for all seasons. Prefer white, earth signs, clean background.
She bases her relationships on sun signs... and her eyes are on fire. This lady sounds like a FREAK.

Men Seeking Women:

FRIENDSHIP AND FUN. Asian-Indian professional, 50s, in search of white female, non-smoker, 30-50, for daytime friendship and companionship. Daytime only. Otherwise the wife might find out.

EASY GOING & KIND. 49, 5'7", kind, easy going, would like to meet a single white female, age open, who likes dining out, movies, dancing, walks on the beach, reading and malls. "Hmm. What else do women like? Puppies? Babies? Nah, that would be too obvious."

I Saw You:

TURKEY JETTA MAN. Do you want to put the panic in my disco? I'll take a spin in your VW as payment for that ticket. If age isn't an issue you know where to find me. If you just want to be friends, that's OK.

SEXY BEARDED MAN. You: short, hairy, bearded man, no shirt, short shorts, kept clapping at Jags game Monday night. Me: short, husky, Mexican male wearing "99" jersey, hamburger hat. You were clapping so loud I couldn't ask your name. What's up? Where the hell do you buy a hamburger hat exactly?

2 Minutes Of Random Thoughts:
Start. For awhile I've believed there were ghosts in my office. It's not so far fetched. I had a Spanish ghost living in my car when I was 18. He liked to flicker the lights and change my radio stations around. I guess it must get pretty boring being a ghost. Anyway. I realized where the "mysterious" sounds were really coming from this morning... the vents. I kept hearing voices, and not the fun in-your-head kind that tell you people are stealing your underwear while you sleep. I had a roommate like that once. She whole heartedly believed in aliens too. She couldn't watch "Signs" without a sedative. But now I'm just rambling. Every day the voices would start up and I would walk around the office trying to find their source. Nothing. Today I finally got fed up and screamed at them, "SHUT UP!" Miraculously they stopped. And then came a teeny tiny voice from above me. "Sooooorrry!" End.

DOT: Twisted Tink has been updated with a new chapter,
"The Greedy King." Click on over and see where Tink and Wolf's next great adventure will lead them.

19 Comments:

At 18 October, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

Now that you've told them to shut up you can't listen in when they are gossiping about other coworkers. OR YOU! haha

 
At 18 October, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

Hey! I was first instead of last today!

 
At 18 October, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

You say ghost in the car, I say perhaps a wiring issue. And why Spanish?? You got something against Span-yerds?

 
At 18 October, 2006, Blogger sassybead said...

Ha! Your Random Thoughts remind me of one of my contracts at Microsoft. In one of their many rabbit-warren office buildings, I shared an inside office with one other person. Someone on the other side of my wall was on the phone a lot, and he ALWAYS used his speaker phone! I could hear every word of those conversations. Yet every time I wandered the corridor to find him and ask him to cease his rude phone behavior, I could never find his office. Maybe he was a ghost of a past contractor, haunting the hallowed offices of the "lazy M," as MS is fondly known around these-here parts...

 
At 18 October, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Jay: Unfortunately I couldn't understand them. It sounded like a bunch of garblygook.

Mignon: I never told you this story? He kept reprogramming my radio buttons with Spanish stations. I didn't even know we HAD 5 Spanish stations! It all makes sense though. I live in a city that was fought over by Spain and Britain for hundreds of years. We're classified as one of the most haunted cities in the US. Oooooh. :)

 
At 18 October, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Sassybead: LOL! I'm glad I'm not alone in this strange anomoly.

 
At 18 October, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

I think some days I would prefer a worker ghost to my co-workers. Did I just say that out loud? Oh well.

A co-worker I DO like just sent me a buy one get one free coffee coupon. Oh goodie. Now I have somethng to read with my coffee! Yippee for a new Tink chapter.

 
At 18 October, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

Since when are malls romantic?

 
At 18 October, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Whoa. Sexy bearded man. Just... Whoa.

 
At 19 October, 2006, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

I think Jay likes being first! He said that on my blog too!

See, you are adorable! I cannot for the life of me do those "random thoughts" thing.

 
At 19 October, 2006, Blogger Freakazojd said...

I LAUGHED MY ANUS OFF at the ads. Where do you FIND that stuff?!
Can't wait to check out the new chapter! I shall head there toot sweet!! :)

 
At 19 October, 2006, Blogger FA said...

FOR ALL SEASONS. Beautiful, intelligent blonde, 5'4", smoldering green eyes, seeks chemistry with man (45-55) who is financially stable, does not smoke/drink and can impress a lady who will be your friend for all seasons. Prefer white, earth signs, clean background.

If her eyes are smoldering she doesn't need any more "chemistry."

 
At 19 October, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

"Daytime friendship." Tee hee! This weekend, I'm going to get all gussied up and ask my husband if he'd like a little "daytime friendship."

 
At 19 October, 2006, Blogger candy said...

Oh Boy more Twisted Tink I can't wait!!!!

 
At 19 October, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

Malls are a great place for a date if you're under 15 and over 65. For the teenagers there's the arcade, food court and movie theater, for the seniors, there's speedwalking, benches and those massage gizmos at Brookstone.

 
At 19 October, 2006, Blogger EE said...

Those ads always crack me up. Funny shit.

I was LOL so hard at your 'ghost' *snort*

 
At 19 October, 2006, Anonymous Lily said...

Laughed my anus off? I gotta use that at Nana's next week.

Anyway, Tink. About the haunting. My friend in St Pete keeps telling me that I have to go on a "Haunting Tour"next time I go visit. Im assuming you must know about this as well?

Then again, she also sends exhibit info all the time from the Dali museum. Like I'm going to jump on a plane? See I recently looked at houses near there and I think that she figures if she can convince me its haunted, I'll buy there? Freak marketing?

 
At 20 October, 2006, Anonymous OddMix said...

LOL. "sooooorrrry" *snerk*

 
At 22 October, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Damn. I want me a hamburger hat. Now.

 

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