Friday, October 27, 2006

Bums In Love

(No, that's not a reference to Hoop and I. Even though we will be homeless soon.)

Last night as we were sitting at a red light, we noticed two bums disturbing a charity worker. The charity worker, another creature of "annoyance" if you ask me, had been walking up and down the lane with his little can of change when he was confronted. Hoop and I couldn't hear them, but we could guess what their actions meant. "Food!" The male bum motioned to the gentleman. Although he could have been stating that he wanted to eat his hand like a sandwich. "Change!" The female bum added, patting her pants as if to show that her legs were still attached.

The charity worker simply shook his head and tried to maneuver around the two. That's when things got ugly. The female bum grabbed the hand of the male bum and then they started kissing. What's that? You thought there'd be violence? Pay attention! I said, "things got UGLY." Just then the light turned green and I almost got rear ended because I couldn't stop staring and mumbling, "Uuuugh." There's your violence for ya. "Aw. Bums in love!" Hoop cried. "You should put that in a scrapbook."

As we were driving past a cop flew in, lights flashing. He slammed up on the median and proceeded to rush out of his car like he was on fire. Say it with me, "Feye Ya!" The kissing bums cowered in his wake. "Get out of here!" The police officer seemed to yell. Or maybe he was just turned on. It could have been, "Give me some of that!" Regardless, a fight ensued and... then we turned into Applebees. I know, I don't like cliff hangers either. Think of it as a, "make your own ending" story. Maybe those bums went to jail. Maybe they threw the cop under a passing truck. Or maybe, they all went behind the car wash for a little game of two-on-one Poker.

The world will never know.

Courtesy of
Odd Mix:

The words for this weekend are...

Lame
Late


Don't be lame and submit your pictures late.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: I hate when the dogs wake me up in the middle of the night to go out!
Tink: You wait till we have kids.
Hoop: Well, in ten years they should have robot nannies that can do all that for you.
Tink: TEN years?!
Hoop: Somehow I just knew that would be the part you caught.

Stolen From Jay:
Do you have some burning question you need to ask me? I can't fix the burning, THAT you might want to get checked out professionally. But I'll do my best on the answering part. I'm opening the floor to questions. It can be anything, from personal to preposterous. Although I'm holding the right to not answer the perverse, thankyouverymuch. So email or comment away! If there are enough questions by Monday, I'll answer them then.

Have a great weekend!

18 Comments:

At 27 October, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

I think the two bums, the cop and the charity worker all went to the cop's apartment where there were already two other bums, another cop and another charity worker waiting. They then all played Simon Says, Pictionary and Twister and then they all did the Hokey Pokey.

I will definitely have to come up with a question or two or 10 and email them to you.

 
At 27 October, 2006, Blogger eric said...

"then we went to applebees."

that's the best ending right there. it sounds like a great punchline or something.

you could just insert it into the great classics.

hemingway at the end of "a farewell to arms:" ... and then we went to applebees.

e+

 
At 27 October, 2006, Blogger mamalujo1 said...

Do you know how to change the tire on your vehicle?

 
At 27 October, 2006, Anonymous emily said...

I threw up a little in my mouth at the mental image of two bums lip-locked. Have you heard of the BUMFIGHT videos? If you had your camcorder, you could have cornered the market with BUMLOVE dvds, selling 'em online and making your first million. Too bad, *what could have been*. You just HAD to go to Applebee's!!!!

 
At 27 October, 2006, Anonymous emily said...

Almost forgot the question...

Why can't I stop thinking about the kissing homeless people?

 
At 27 October, 2006, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

Only Jay could come up with an imagination like that! LOL!

Tink, how in the world do you and Hoop always think of these types of conversations? You must see the world through "children's eyes." I am not saying that as a bad thing either. It's so great! I hope you never lose that "cuteness" with each other. :)

 
At 27 October, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

The shit that seems to happen around you is unreal. I mean, I have to wait like 5 or 6 years between weird shit. You, it's like a daily occurance. Or maybe it's just Florida :-) I dont' know, I'm going to applebees.

 
At 27 October, 2006, Blogger gawilli said...

Geez, nothing exciting like this ever happens to us on the way to Applebees! Wonder what the charity was that the worker was collecting for? Surely it wasn't to help the homeless.

 
At 27 October, 2006, Blogger Lucia said...

OK, here's my question: Are there ever days when you and Hoop don't have a conversation that's blogable?

 
At 28 October, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

we get TO ASK YOU QUESTIONS? AND YOU MIGHT ANSWER? ohhh it's like Christmas at Pickled Beef. Each answer would be like the cutest, smallest, bestest wrapped up with bows, present at the very bottom of the toe of the stocking hung by the fire on Christmas eve!!!!!!!!!!!
How tall are you?
How tall is Hoop?
Who does your hair? it's so cool.
What sort of different things are you looking for in your new house purchase?
How did you get so brave? (remember the fight at the hotel when you were on vacation?)
When you are walking on the beaches that are mostly shells, are you barefoot? Do you have to wear shoes? Does it hurt if you don't wear shoes? (I live in landlocked middle America so forgive me)
Were you always this good at relationships? Because you and Hoop make it seem like second nature to be perfect together.
Is your favorite food sushi?
Are you scared of anything?
Don't you think the 40 year old virgin could be one of the Goonies kids 30 years later? I wonder which one.
I should stop now.

 
At 28 October, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was thinking about the Goonies thing for a minute and well it can't be Chunk, because he'd be living with Sloth still. It can't be Bran cause he'd be married with 3 kids with Andy, and not Mouth cause he's probably living with Stef, and Mikey liked kissing Andy, so he's probably hooked up with someone, but Data,,,,,,Data could be the 40 year old virgin workin at a Best Buy or something.


(they're not real, they're not real,,,,,,,,,,,,damn it sniff sniff)

 
At 28 October, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Okay, who the heck is anonymous? And, can you put a limit on how many questions someone asks you (hint, hint anonymous!).

Here is mine: Do you make up the Hoop conversations? They seem just too darn funny to be real.

 
At 28 October, 2006, Blogger J-Funk said...

Love your blog! It's so entertaining. And a little inspiring. Newt's right; the frequency of weird shit that happens to you is amazing.

 
At 29 October, 2006, Blogger Foo said...

Regardless, a fight ensued and... then we turned into Applebees.

I turned into a newt, once.

I got better.

 
At 30 October, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

THankgoodness for robot nannies, is what I always say.

 
At 30 October, 2006, Blogger candy said...

Wow, any question??? hehehe just kidding. I would like to know. Do you plan on having any kids? How many would you have? and last but not least what would you name said kids?? Thanks that was fun!!!!!

 
At 30 October, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Jay: How PG of you Jay! hehe

Eric: I think it's right up there with, "It all started with a technicolor clown."

Emily: Hoop raves about the bum-fight videos! I've never seen one. You might be onto something here. Bum-love videos... Would that be like reverse porn? "Puts you off sex for years!"

Chelle Y: Thank you! I definitely view that as a compliment.

Newt: I've always attracted the bizarre. Hence Hoop (Ha ha ha). Plus Florida is full of whack-jobs. So when you mix the two elements you're pretty much guaranteed an interesting time.

Gawilli: Would that be considered "ironic" if he was?

Anonymous: LMAO! Data would totally be the 40-yr old virgin at Best Buy. Or maybe a video game tester. Have you seen "Grandma's Boy" yet?

J-Funk: Welcome to my insanity! I'm always glad to have new people in the mix.

Foo: That was before Turtle kissed you and turned you back into Foo isn't it?

Jay: They're not nearly as handy as robot butlers though. :)

Thank you all for your great questions! I'll try and post some answers for you today.

 
At 30 October, 2006, Blogger EE said...

Robot nannies and bums....freaking hilarious!

 

Post a Comment

<< Home