Friday, October 20, 2006

Thinking Room

I don't think about anything when I'm sitting on the toilet.

I get in. I get done. I get out.

Evidently I'm not utilizing my time well enough.

"I'm off to the Thinking Room!" One of the sales guys yelled yesterday as he walked into the restroom. I think my mind is too impressionable. One little comment and suddenly that's all I can think about. It doesn't help that my office is right next to the men's bathroom.

Now when two or more guys go in I can't help but wonder... "Are they having a meeting?" A manager comes over to spout off some great idea and my first reaction is, "Why was he thinking about ME while doing THAT?"

So this morning I'm sitting on the can, trying to think, and nothing is happening... from either end. Maybe I can't multi-task? "Think about the story you're writing," I told myself. So I did. Well, I tried. It took five minutes before I realized I was counting the number of kingdoms I'd already introduced into the fable.

It's five if you're curious.

"Well that's stupid. They'd have to be right next to each other. It would be like a castle multiplex!" Five minutes after that, "Then again, my two main characters are a fairy and a wolf. I mean, which is more absurd? I knew I should have wrote a murder mystery instead. Ah, it'll be fine." Then I pulled up my pants and left the restroom.

I got all the way back to my office before I realized something... I'd forgotten to poop.

How does one FORGET to poop?!

October Search Terms:
(What people put into search engines that bring them here)
1. Waldo decoy pop out Halloween Is that so the real one can get away with the loot?
2. office zombie That's me before I'm filled up with coffee.
3. what are a pickled boobs Um... I think you need to take your medication now.
4. i'm boobless It could be worse. You could have innies.

Courtesy of
Odd Mix:

The words for this weekend are...


I double dog dare you.

Around The Water Cooler:
Sales Manager: I can't get this to print!
Tink: I'll be right over.
Sales Manager: *Click, click, clickclickclick*
Tink: STOP.
Sales Manager: I don't understand! I'm hitting the "Print" button.
Tink: So you went to "File," then "Print" and-
Sales Manager: -No. There's a print button ON the screen.
Tink: What? *Leans over and looks at the screen* That's not going to do you any good.
Sales Manager: Why not? It worked when I clicked it on the web page.
Tink: But this is a Word document.
Sales Manager: So?
Tink: And this thing you keep clicking on?
Sales Manager: Yeah?
Tink: It's a print screen

In Other News: Wednesday night Hoop's car broke down on the side of the highway. This wasn't surprising to me. It had been overheating for two days. Hoop on the other hand acted as if the car were merely having a bad moment. "It'll start right back up. It just needs some water and to sit for a couple minutes." So I sat, white knuckled as the semi-trucks rushed by, waiting for Hoop's miracle. To my disbelief, it started up on the first try. I followed him to the next exit, my leg shaking so bad on the pedal I thought I was running out of gas. $400 and a new water-pump later, Hoop's car (Christine, as I call her) is back in commission. I'm just waiting to see what else this week is going to throw my way before Saturday.

Have a wonderful weekend!


At 20 October, 2006, Blogger mamalujo1 said...

You FORGOT to poop!? Now I've heard it all. You are one focused chick.

At 20 October, 2006, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

I cannot read or do anything else either. I will take something to read, but end up just reading. Weird, I know.

Have a great weekend yourself, my "adorable" friend! :)

At 20 October, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Definitely no multitasking for you, young lady!

Ok, that's perfectly acceptable Sales Manager behavior. Really, that's probably happened here.

At 20 October, 2006, Blogger EE said...

Uh....LMAO!!!! Let's just say 'ditto' would suffice.

Have a great wkend Tink! :)

At 20 October, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

The hubster will go into the restroom and return an hour later. He reads the paper while he poops. I have never been a bathroom reader - I'm more of a get in and get done and get out sort of gal. But the other day I gave the reading on the pot a whirl. A chapter and a half later I realized how quiet and relaxing it could be. Go figure........
Have a good weekend Tink!

At 20 October, 2006, Blogger FA said...

I'm pretty sure sales managers are almost the most clueless people around. It's all about getting their paycheck nothing else. Let's listen in to a sales managers thoughts shall we? Learn to use a pc? Fuck it, my compensation isn't tied to it. I can convince someone to do it for me anyway. I'm a salesman.

At 20 October, 2006, Blogger mrspao said...

Fantastic! I'm pretty much the same.

At 20 October, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

I don't normally take a book or newspaper with me into the bathroom either. But, I do get a lot of thinking done while in there. But, you have to stop thinking and poop at some point.

At 20 October, 2006, Blogger Mike Y said...

Some of my very best product/company ideas have come from my time in the morning. But forget it with public restrooms. I have a phobia of them since boot camp. If I have to go in there for any reason, I'm not hanging out. I just want out. That's one of the downsides of when Brendan has to go poop. I'll have to wait for him and get all anxious in the process.

At 20 October, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

Good lord you crack me up. I was thinking about you this afternoon because Jeff and I had a conversation so funny that I was literally crying. He was funny, I was hilarious, it was pure genius, but I will never, ever be able to transcribe it and make it sound nearly as good as your Hoop conversations do. You have a gift.

At 20 October, 2006, Blogger Lucia said...

OK, the toilet may not be the best place to multi-task, but the shower is great. Lots of thinking to be done in there!

Please tell me that people at work aren't actually that dense.

At 20 October, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

I confess: I keep a huge stack of magazines in the bathroom. It's so soothing! It gets your mind, trying to get things done.

At 22 October, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

I have never understood the "sit and think" thing. I am NEVER in there long enough to even read a page.

At 22 October, 2006, Blogger mjd said...

Yes when heading toward the john, my husband says I am going to the library and takes reading material with him to the library. Frankly, I would never have a enough time for reading anything but a one-minute novel.

If one thinks on the toilet, what does one think about? Defecation?

At 23 October, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

I don't go to the bathroom often, but when I do, I like to sit and take advantage of "down time". Jason thinks this is hillarious. Jason, like you, is in and out. I cannot believe that you can actually do your business is such a short amount of time. I also can't believe I'm telling you this.


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