Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Freaks On Parade

There's nothing quite like Halloween...

The crazy costumes.
The instant cavities.
Scaring people at Chick-fila.

8:00pm: As the Devil (played by Hoop) and his fallen Angel (played by Tink) walked into the most Christian eating establishment in the U.S., everything grew quiet. The girl sweeping the foyer didn't know if she should laugh or be offended. "I'd like two number 5's," Hoop bellowed. The manager behind the counter averted her eyes. "This is it," I thought. "They're going to kick us out." But instead they just got us our meals. In fact, I've never seen a fast food staff work so quickly! "Have a BLESSED night," the manager said loudly as we made our exit, an extra emphasis on the word "blessed."

8:30pm: "So... We're really going to do this?" I asked Hoop as we stared across his Grandma's street. "Sure! Why not?" "Oh-kay. But you have to be the one that knocks." As we climbed the steps to the brightly lit house, I found myself trying to quiet my footfalls. I felt more like a burglar than a trick-or-treater. "Aren't we missing the TP?" I whispered. Hoop knocked. "Trick-Or-Treat!" We yelled, and then burst into laughter. The guy who answered the door squinted for a moment as his eyes adjusted. Then he started chuckling. "Look at you two!" He grabbed his candy dish and came out to get a better look. "You guys in high school?" I could feel myself blushing. "Nah. I'm a 29 year old working man," Hoop declared proudly. "I wish I was still a 29 year old working man." The guy replied.

The woman at the next house started laughing as soon as she looked outside, and only stopped long enough to throw us a couple of glow bracelets and close the door in our faces. The following house was well lit, but no one answered when we knocked. Then we noticed the empty bowl on the steps, a sign inside that read "Please take one." I think some people forget they're dealing with KIDS. Kids don't understand moderation, especially when the goods are free and for the taking. The last house we made a stop at was cleaning up for the evening. The gentleman filled our Walmart bags with two huge handfuls and complimented our costumes. "I don't even want the candy," Hoop said as we walked to the car. "That's OK. We didn't do it for the candy anyway."

9:00pm: Down town looked like a parade of freaks. There were fairies, clowns, cat-people and witches. Even the bums took initiative and dressed up! The most disturbing display came from a group of guys wearing nothing buy panty hose. "I'd take a picture, but I'm afraid the flash would make the stockings see-through," I said. People complimented our costumes as they gave us a wide berth on the street. And some didn't quite understand the correlation. "I'm the angel he corrupted!" I called out to a pair of confused drunks. Then the streets began to clear and we headed for the beach.

10:00pm Beachside was an orgy of color and sights. The moment we stepped foot in the bar I felt as if I'd entered Jereth's castle. You know... Labyrinth? God, David Bowe was hot back then. I ran around the bar for an hour just taking pictures. By eleven the place was too crowded for me to fit my wings through, and Hoop's red paint had begun to run. It finally took my fake eyelashes falling off before I conceeded to go home though. "Is the Devil ready to go back to the depths of Hell yet?" I called out, blinking back the glue induced tears.

11:00pm: "Is it off yet?!" Hoop called from the shower. I glanced at his pink face for a minute before sending him back in for his third scrub down. Three showers and half a bottle of shampoo later, Hoop was noticeably cleaner, but not fully back to normal color. "It'll have to do." By midnight we were both back to being human. I vowed never to wear three inch heels down town again and Hoop started making plans for next years revisions.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: How's your skin color today?
Hoop: Well... The ladies at work thought I had a rash.
Tink: *Snort* That bad huh?
Hoop: They gave me lotion.

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
(While walking down town in costume)
Lady: *Glances at Hoop* Satan.
Tink: Evening.
Lady: Evening. You know, you're hanging out with the wrong kind of guy.
Tink: *Laughs* Oh yeah?
Hoop: *Nods to lady* Thank you. I'll be seeing YOU later.

Tink Quote Of The Day:
Halloween must be a dentist's wet dream.

DOT: Twisted Tink has been updated with a new chapter, "All That Glitters." See what happens below Rapunzel's tower!

Stop by tomorrow to see Hoop and my Halloween pictures!


At 01 November, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

Sounds like a heck of a great time. I can't wait to see the costumes!

Have a BLESSED day! haha

At 01 November, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

I don't think dentists have wet dreams. Or at least my mind is going "LA LA LA LALALALALALALA AAAAA" at the thought.

We had a couple too-old-to-be-trickRtreatins last night. One was dressed as the kid next door, and the other went as the kid across the street. But then, they were the kid next door and the kid across the street...

At 01 November, 2006, Anonymous eric said...

it's always a bummer when i want some chick-fil-a on a sunday and forget that it's always closed.

damn, those things are good. service too (for fast food).


At 01 November, 2006, Blogger Betty said...

There was a man in our town who always put out an empty bucket, with a sign saying "Please take just one". Nobody ever caught on.

At 01 November, 2006, Blogger Foo said...

Hoop: *Nods to lady* Thank you. I'll be seeing YOU later.

No, this was the quote of the day. Tell Hoop I said, "HE SHOOTS! HE SCORES!"

WV: "diqst". What you might have seen if you'd taken pictures of the guys in panty hose.

At 01 November, 2006, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

Yeah, hurry and post pictures!

I sounds like you had so much fun! I think next year I am going to dress up for Halloween with my son. :)

At 01 November, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm REFRESHING! I'm REFRESHING! Like a tropical rain, fresh scent, Island splash Sun blossom, Mid summer's night BREEZE!!!!! Ooooooooooo la la mon cherie!

At 01 November, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Mignon: They didn't even dress up? Isn't that the whole POINT? Geesh. Hoop and I may be too old, but at least we came in the spirit of things.

Betty: That's classic! I might have to try that one year, if I ever get some trick-or-treaters. Rednecks must not celebrate it.

Foo: LMAO @ "diqst." Hoop was cracking me up all night. He kept asking people, "Remember me?"

He didn't really know them.

Then he'd start announcing, "I'm here to collect your soul... or beer. Beer is good."

Chelle: I'll load them tonight for you girl. :)

At 01 November, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Anon: Actually, I believe it's been revised to "very likable." ;) Unless you like being "refreshing" of course.

At 01 November, 2006, Blogger mjd said...

I am wondering what is the most Christian eating establishment in the US . We have a family of church members that own a pizza parlor. I know that they would welcome Hoop, the Devil, and Tink , the fallen angel.

Conversation #2 is very funny. I'll be seeing YOU later. He.he

At 01 November, 2006, Blogger Gracey said...

We have got to see pictures!!! And what Christian fast food place did you go to? Chick-Fil-A???

At 01 November, 2006, Anonymous susan said...

I wanna know where you ate too!

I love to read that you did this, I'll be sure to let dh know...he thinks our 14 year old is just waaaayyyyy to old to be trick or treating. Can't wait to see the pictures.

At 01 November, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

Poor Hoop staying red. I laughed out loud. Cackled actually, maybe even a snort.

Can't wait to see the pics. I have to train folks all day tomorrow but I now HAVE to take the computer with me so I can log on during lunch. I dont' think I can wait till after work. Yeah, I know, sad.

At 01 November, 2006, Blogger Lucia said...

Had a great time reading this. Looking forward to the pics!

At 02 November, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

Jeff's dad is a dentist, so I am DEFINITELY with Mignon on this one. I can't wait to see the costumes!

At 02 November, 2006, Blogger Kell said...

So hilarious. I can't wait to see the photos, either.

At 02 November, 2006, Anonymous Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

One time I went into a liquor store on Halloween with a friend of mine. We didn't even realize we were funny until we kept getting funny looks.

I was dressed like a nun. He was dressed like the devil.

Good times.

At 02 November, 2006, Blogger EE said...

Sounds like you guys had so much fun! I can't *wait* to see the pics!

And OMFG do I hear you on the heels....I think I finally got feeling back in my toes come, oh....Tuesday...*snort*

At 03 November, 2006, Blogger FA said...

I guess the red paint is better than green. Or maybe not. Then Hoop could have gone home sick.

At 03 November, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

That sounds like a blast! Hee hee - what if he'd been a smurf?!


Post a Comment

<< Home