Going On An Otter Hunt
In eighth grade my English teacher had everyone write down their most positive attribute. Some kids wrote "Beauty." Others, "Athletic Ability." As a contestant for the "Most Likely To Succeed" title in the year book, I felt confident enough to write down "Intelligence." I lost the title a day later to a German girl whose parents believed we'd been dropped off by aliens as a science experiment.
But I wasn't bitter...
Much.
To this day I've always believed myself to be a smart person. I read a lot, I watch the news, and I've accomplished a fair amount of goals for my age. That is... until I was outsmarted by an otter. Every morning, as I pull into the driveway at work, I see an otter splashing around in our holding pond. As a lover off all things cute, I decided to go out and get a picture of him this afternoon. So out I went, camera in hand and a coworker for company.
Our mission was easy. Sneak up on otter. Take picture. We walked around for 40 minutes. We saw tons of gutted fish and at least four dens. But no otter. "Maybe he's sleeping," my coworker mused. "Maybe he's warming up somewhere," I thought. I mean seriously, what the hell do I know about otters? So we made the long, cold trek back to the car. As we got in, I looked over the glistening water and saw... the otter, standing on his back feet and looking at us. "I'll be damned," I said. I swear he was smiling.
Off he hopped, happily, toward the pond where we'd just spend our entire lunch looking.
Courtesy of Odd Mix:
The words for this weekend are...
Start
Again
Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: Do you know what I secretly hope?
Hoop: What's that?
Tink: I hope Tom and Katie Cruise get divorced and she writes a tell-all book about their lives. I bet she's going through some freaky shit.
Hoop: Even if she gets out, she'll never be the same.
Tink: And now the Scientologists are trying to make Tom their "Jesus."
Hoop: That reminds me, we have an appointment next Friday.
Tink: For what?
Hoop: We have an interview at the Church Of Scientology. Apparently they run you through a bunch of tests and questions before they accept you into their religion.
Tink: Ha ha, very funny.
Hoop: I'm serious.
Tink: Well I have a dentist appointment on Friday. I'll be too drugged up to go. But that shouldn't stop you. Take plenty of notes for me.
Hoop: Drugged up? Even better! They prefer you under the influence. The mind control works easier that way.
Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
(On two-ways)
Tink: Aww! I just saw a bunch of baby cows. There were running around and butting heads.
Hoop: Mmmm. I think I'll have veal tonight.
Tink: You're awful.
Hoop: They're just cows.
Tink: But they're SO cute!
Hoop: They're stupid animals babe. An average cow thought is, "Grass. I like grass. Hey, why's that guy playing with my nipples? Grass. I like grass."
In Other News:
P.S. Does anyone know how I can make my arrow look like this? I can't stop reloading the page so I can play with it!
P.P.S. I'm working on another chapter of TT. Look for updates Monday afternoon.
Have a great weekend!
Labels: Daily Hoop Conversations, Wit and Quips
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19 comments
19 Comments:
Otters secretly rule the world, you know.
Oh, timely otter pictures...
Don't feel bad about the otter. I got out-witted by a baby beaver many times until I gave up.
"Why is that man playing with my nipples?" hahahaha .. now that's funny!
That otter was actually a German science experiment. So you really don't have a chance...sorry.
Leave it to Jay to pick up on the beavers and nipples... LOL
Otters are tricky. It's a scientific fact.
Hope your house purchase is going ok. I think we've got 2.5 weeks before we're homeless with 5 cats... argh!!!
Chris: You're trying to kill me with cuteness, aren't you?
Jay: So when are you going to tell us this baby beaver story, hm?
Susan: German science experiment! Why didn't I figure that out? Oh yeah, it's because I'm not smart anymore.
MrsPao: We should start a homeless club... Free soup and blankets at every meeting!
Tink: Don't spend a lot of time worrying about that iguana. Later in the story, they explained that iguanas are equipped with TWO SETS of stuff. So, he won't miss the defective ones.
ROFLMAO....where do you manage to get this stuff? If I was that iguana, I don't know that I'd rush into using my backup system right away for fear of a repeat performance. Poor guy.
C'mon, that otter isn't smart, he's just lucky. Yeah, Mr. Lucky Otter who is shy about having his photo taken.
That's pretty funny about the otter. They seem pretty smart. They're sure cute.
And wish Hoop luck with the scientologists. LOL!
Yah, my favourite was the cow nipple talk too! Whenever my guy and I are on a roadtrip, we always have to say "MOO!" everytime we see a cow. There are usually so many cows we end up mooing a song. It's ridiculous. (We play many games on road trips. Instead of punch buggy we play Redneck Spottin'. We are not stable people!!)
We also wonder everytime what the cows are thinking. I'm stealing Hoops thoughts for next time :)
If you figure out how to get the sparkly cursor, let me know, I want one too!
Don't worry anymore about your clueless 8th grade teacher. You WERE the cleverest child in that class. Many times true genius is overlooked.
Otters don't like their photo taken. Get a zoom lens.
Please note:
We Scientologists DO NOT consider Tom Cruise "our Jesus" or any such crap. The man is an actor, that is all.
That story came out of the "UK Sun", Britain's worst and sleaziest tabloid. Please don't believe what tabloids write. Elvis is not living in Arkansas, Bigfood does not exist and we Scientologists are NOT what trash rags write about us.
Sincerely,
Greg
Scientologist and proud of it
http://www.liveandgrow.org
"Why's that guy playing with my nipple?"
That is my saying of the week. Thanks.
You got kicked to the curb by a teutonic scientologist? I tell ya, there's just no justice. Speaking of people who always make me shake my head and laugh, did you ever get a chance to see the Tom Cruise/scientology episode of South Park? I don't usually watch the show, because Turtle finds it offensive, but someone sent me a link to where it was posted on the web for a time.
I nearly wet myself, I laughed so hard. Tom Cruise got his feelings hurt when Stan--who the scientologists thought was the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard--dissed him, so he locked himself in Stan's closet and wouldn't come out. All these people pleading, "Tom, come out of the closet"...
I don't know why I think that's hilarious, but I do.
Re. the iguana who stands erect: Oh, you giggle at those Cialis commercials that warn of erections lasting more than four hours, but it's not so funny now that you've learnt the treatment for priapism. Is it?
P.S. - Your beard is lovely, Tom, but you're not fooling anyone. Come out of the closet.
P.P.S. - I can't wait to see the search engine hits start rolling in for "Tom Cruise priapism". *snork!*
The otter was laughing at you - it's how the otter laughs. Good story!
I wonder if this Tom Cruise thing will cause a rift in Scientology - sort of like all the sects of christianity -we'll have those that follow the teachings of cruise - Cruisentologist so to speak and those who just believe he is a prophet :-) Or maybe a third sect that denounces him. Hmmmm, interesting..............
Pissing off the Scientologists. Hmmm. Elvis doesn't live in Arkansas?
The second Hoop convo was awesome.
We take a babysitter with us on summer vacation to watch the kids so we can do a few adult things (no, not THOSE adult things) like go out to dinner by ourselves.
A few months beforehand, our sitter had become a vegetarian. Upon returning from our vacation nice dinner out she asked what we had. Hubby had had veal. She didn't know what that was. I think when he explained it to her, she turned green. Poor thing. Next time I'm telling him to just say pasta.
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