1. Friday night I turned into a black hole of unhappiness...
2....sucking up everyone else's good cheer around me.
3. It was horrible, like watching a train wreck.
4. Only, I was driving the train.
5. Statistics say that January 24th is the unhappiest day of the year.
6. People are starting to pay back what they owe for Christmas. There are no more celebrations. Unreasonable resolutions have been broken, and the winter weather is starting to get old.
7. Which makes sense. But I think my "unhappy day" came early this year.
8. Don't worry. I'm over it now. It's time to for an attitude tune-up.
9. Saturday morning we were visited by
10. We never quite know how to act when he's around.
11. In his prime, my Grandfather worked for the CIA. After that it was on to fortune 50 companies. Now, at an age where most would retire, he's an investor in a high profile golf company.
12. Although sweet, he's a little detached from normal life. He has no idea what things cost or how to take care of himself in the most rudimentary ways. Doing laundry or making a sandwich boggles his mind.
13. When my Mom was 18, he divorced my Grandmother so he could marry his secretary. They later adopted two girls, my aunts. They are 17 and 19 now.
14. As a way of relating to me and my life, my Grandfather brought up that my 19 year old aunt will be closing on a house next month.
15. A brand new house. One which she'll have to pay nothing on.
16. The black hole part of me wanted to say something snotty, diminishing the happiness he felt with my misery.
17. But I didn't. Because I realized a huge part of that misery was actually sadness on the behalf of my aunt. Something he couldn't have understood.
18. How do you love a house that didn't take blood, or sweat, or tears to get? How do you build strength and pride if you don't ever have to exert yourself?
19. One of the most defining moments of my life happened on the floor of my kitchen, barely three months into buying my house. I was sobbing, torn between gratitude and the terror of failure. "This is MINE." I kept telling myself. "And I could lose it all."
20. Sunday, Hoop and I escaped from my parents' house for a football party thrown by his boss.
21. She had the food prepared, the game on, the beer chilled, and the guests had all arrived...
22. Unfortunately, she'd been drinking since 11 and went MIA 30 minutes into the game.
23. So we all went outside and played a competitive round of Baggo.
24. The pressure was so intense that by the last round I fully expected a fight to break out.
25. But it didn't... and we won.
26. Of course we didn't think to consult the handbook until AFTER the game, in which we realized we'd been playing it all wrong.
26. So much for Hoop and I becoming professional
Around The Water Cooler:
Hoop: I don't want to go back to work tomorrow.
Hoop's boss: At least your desk has been cleaned for you.
Hoop: What's that?
HB: I took the liberty of going through everyone's desks and organizing them.
HB: *Shrugs* It's just something I do.
Hoop: What about all those loose papers? I had those out because they weren't completed.
HB: Oh. Well, I filed those.
Hoop: *Grits teeth*
Tink: Wait a second. You go through your employees' desks?
HB: -And I organize them.
Tink: Girl... You're a freak.
HB: A NEAT freak.
Tink: No. You're just a regular freak.
Daily Hoop Conversation:
(After searching for Hoop's keys for 20 minutes)
Tink: Oh shit. *Starts laughing*
Hoop: Did you find them?
Hoop: Where were they?
Tink: On my key chain!
Hoop: That's great... I wish you would have realized that BEFORE we jimmied my car open.
(Five minutes later, after parting ways, I get a phone call)
Hoop: Babe, do you have my cell phone?
Tink: Ummm. *Digs in purse* Yeah.
Hoop: What is this, I meet you for lunch and then you jack my shit?
Tink: I didn't want to leave!
Around The Water Cooler:
Coworker: I am so tired.
Tink: Rough night?
Coworker: We found a rabbit hidden in my son's closet last night.
Coworker: No, not "awww". He did it after my wife and I both told him he couldn't have it.
Tink: Are you worried he can't take care of it?
Coworker: No. He's really good with animals.
Tink: Rabbits are a bit messy though.
Coworker: That's not it either.
Tink: OK. Then what's the big deal?
Coworker: Eventually the damn thing is going to die.
Tink: And that would make you... upset?
Coworker: No, I'd be fine. It's other people's grief I can't stand. It's the same reason I didn't want my wife getting a dog.
Tink: Wow. I had no idea you were so sensitive.