Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Something Witty Goes Here

Weekend Recap:
1. Over the weekend Hoop and I practiced being vegetables.
2. I'm excited to announce I might have a career in playing a potato...
3. ...if Lay's is ever looking for a mascot.
4. The three main events on Saturday were reading, watching
"The Island", and taking pictures of a couch burning.
5. Actually, it exploded first. Then it burned.
6. One of my brother's friend's Dad pulled up just as we were gathering around the blaze.
7. I thought for sure he'd ask what we were doing. He didn't.
8. Which made me realize how desensitized the local rednecks have made everyone.
9. Sunday, Hoop and I went furniture shopping.
10. I kept pointing out comfortable couches with modern designs.
11. Hoop kept pointing out leather chairs that looked like they'd been made from the skin of a 90 year old woman addicted to tanning beds.
Tink: You know what your tastes remind me of?
Hoop: What's that?
Tink: My paternal Grandfather.
Hoop: That's cool.
Tink: *Shrug* If you like being compared to an old, fat Italian who liked to smoke cigars and play slot machines.
12. Houston, we have problems.
13. On the way home we stopped to go grocery shopping.
14. I used to like buying food. Not anymore.
Tink: We're only allowed to have three kids OK?
Hoop: Oh-kay. Why?
Tink: Six people is too fucking many to feed. I can't find anything besides Hamburger Helper in bulk that won't take two hours to cook.
Hoop: I really had my heart set on nine kids. That way we could start our own baseball team!
Tink: Yeah well, UNSET it.
15. Poor Hoop.
16. The house closing has been set to February 8th...
17. ...IF I can find an insurance company that will take me.
18. Apparently most companies won't accept a house if the roof is over 18 years old.
19. They won't accept trampolines either.
20. I wonder if sex swings are on that list?

Courtesy of
Odd Mix:


Free...

...to spend the afternoon lying on a bleacher.

(Some Random Weekend Pictures)

Lamp Light


Up In Smoke


Winter Berries


Daily Hoop Conversation:
(On two-ways)
Hoop: I HATE this traffic!
Tink: I know babe. Not too much longer.
Hoop: I wish I had a device that could freeze time. Then I could whip through and no one could slam on their brakes or cut in front of me.
Tink: But if you had that capability, eventually everyone would have it.
Hoop: So?
Tink: They could freeze you first. Then you'd get home even later!
Hoop: But that's the beauty of it! When you freeze time, you go to another dimension temporarily. THIS dimension would keep moving.
Tink: Couldn't that dimension be just as crowded as this one though?
Hoop: No, because each second is a different dimension.
Tink: Ohhh. So what if you and another guy hit the button to freeze time at the exact same second, transporting yourselves to the same dimension, and then had a car accident? No one would be around to help you.
Hoop: We wouldn't need help.
Tink: No?
Hoop: The impact of traveling faster than the speed of this current dimension would obliterate us.
Tink: I see you have this all worked out.
Hoop: I've had a lot of time to think about it.

P.S. Thanks to all who delurked on Friday's post. You're awesome! You really are.

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26 Comments:

At 16 January, 2007, Blogger G said...

LMAO about six people being too many to feed. As i feed that many each night i totally get you. I so wish more food came in a "family size", something in between Costco feed a small army and regular ol' people food.

 
At 16 January, 2007, Blogger Jay said...

What really sucks about buying a house is you go from one slimey crook, a real estate agent, to another, insurance companies. Not to mention the greedy crooks, the bank, in the middle.

I hope you weren't critisizing those cool leather reading chairs that I love so much. ;-)

Love the pictures. Especially the couch burning. Around here if there was a couch burning there would be a reason behind it. You know, like trying to kill all the lice and cockroaches that had infested it.

 
At 16 January, 2007, Blogger Kim: The Mom, The Myth said...

We bought an umbrella insurance policy a coupla years back, and the insurance dude's questions quickly became hilarious. "Do you have a trampoline? Motorcycle? Pit bull or rottweiler? Swimming pool? Airplane? Submarine? Rocket launcher? Nuclear energy plant? Bear trap collection?"

Um...no. Just the minivan. Thanks.

 
At 16 January, 2007, Blogger Foo said...

20. I wonder if sex swings are on that list?

Don't ask; don't tell.

Regarding the whole temporary temporal suspension, you and I are such buzzkills. It's just wrong to take so improbable a notion and try to apply actual logic to it. *QUARK!*

 
At 16 January, 2007, Blogger graymama said...

If you and Hoop added at least one beautiful child to this world, it would be a better place :-)

Hooray for Feb 8th!

We have home owners insurance with American Family. We have had nothing but good experiences with them. Plus, if you have auto insurance with them too, your rates go down :-)

I thought you were joking about the couch until I saw the pic. Too Funny!

Now I am singing the theme song to Out of This World :-P

 
At 16 January, 2007, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

Wow! Your conversations with Hoop are amazing. One of these days, you two are going to be famous for inventing something "out of this world!" :)

 
At 16 January, 2007, Anonymous susan said...

Somehow I feel the need to inform you that if you end up with three children you will be outnumbered. Is that something you really want?

 
At 16 January, 2007, Anonymous J said...

Am I the only who is wondering why the couch exploded and burned, and who it belonged to? Inquiring minds want to know! ;)

 
At 16 January, 2007, Blogger meno said...

Damn! I hope you had some marshmallows for that fire.

 
At 16 January, 2007, Blogger Chris said...

Y'know, trying to work through that last conversation obliterated whatever witty comment I was going to leave! *blink blink*

 
At 16 January, 2007, Blogger Lucia said...

I love these numbered posts, and I adore the pic of the couch burning!

 
At 16 January, 2007, Blogger Mike Y said...

I hope all goes well with the house and with getting the insurance. And tell Hoop good luck in the dimensional portal. I wouldn't want to see him obliterated. But then again, that's not likely something I'd see as the time difference wouldn't really allow for it. Huh? ;)

 
At 16 January, 2007, Blogger Kell said...

Yeah, I wanna know more about that couch, too. That was a cool picture of it, btw.

Good luck on closing.

 
At 16 January, 2007, Anonymous Lily said...

I dont want to leave my damn dimension! I want OTHERS to go away to another dimension!

I want them sucked through a vortex like a giant Dynson vaccuum... sucking them by the head.

Whats up with the couch? More, more.

 
At 16 January, 2007, Blogger spellconjurer said...

I think if you were couch shopping, that the burning couch was yours! Did you "do it" on that couch? Hmmmmmm? (giggling) Maybe the memories the couch had, were so hot it made it spontaneously combust! Ergo you had to shop for a new one. Maybe now that the couch with the combusting memories has burst into flames you can get insurance? With a new memoryless couch.

 
At 16 January, 2007, Anonymous LIly said...

Dyson. Im tired. They are ugly but its true, they dont lose suction.

 
At 17 January, 2007, Anonymous Ch3ll3 said...

Oooo...the lamp light pictures is AMAZING!! I want, I want!

 
At 17 January, 2007, Blogger Tink said...

The story behind the couch: Papa Bear bought Mom porch furniture as a late X-Mas present. It was in replacement of said couch and a really crappy card table. I think he did it just so he could pour gasoline on it and watch it burn. The gasoline explains the small explosion. I swear we're turning into rednecks.

G: Have you seen the huge head-sized cans of peas at the grocery store? I keep thinking, "THAT would work!" But I can't muster the nerve to actually BUY one. Lol.

Lily: That's what I was thinking. Why should WE have to relocate dimensions for THEM? Hmph.

Susan: According to Hoop I'm already outnumbered. "My testosterone is that of TWO people!" Yeah, Ok buddy.

 
At 17 January, 2007, Blogger Jess Riley said...

Your title was very true because this whole post was witty as hell!

I laughed out loud at your comment about Hoop's tastes being like your grandfather's.

 
At 17 January, 2007, Blogger V said...

Tell me you did't burn that couch so that you would have "up in smoke"? That could get mighty pricey!

 
At 17 January, 2007, Blogger eric said...

rednecks, indeed.

because i know that the real reason you did it was to celebrate the gators winning the national championship.

they do that in west virginia, you know ...

e+

 
At 17 January, 2007, Anonymous TB said...

They are meeting in Tallahassee to discuss the homeowner's insurance issue today. I really really hope something gets resolved soon. Good luck!

 
At 17 January, 2007, Blogger EE said...

I agree w/ Foo....'don't ask, don't tell' ;)

*love* the winter berries! The colors are SO vibrant!!!

Hang in there Tink!

(and I LOVE the new icon! Looks great! :)

 
At 17 January, 2007, Blogger Peggy said...

Burning furniture is great fun. It is kind of scary to see how fast a chair or sofa will burn and how hot the flames will be.

 
At 17 January, 2007, Blogger mrspao said...

Hooray you've found somewhere!!!! I'm so happy for you!

 
At 17 January, 2007, Blogger Newt said...

The light picture is amazing! Thanks for the giggles. I love your conversations.

 

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