Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Onward

Daily Hoop Conversation:
(While driving around looking at houses)
Tink: Hoooop, I have to pee!
Hoop: Want me to pull over?
Tink: I'm not going to pee on the side of the road.
Hoop: You could mark one of those houses for us.
Tink: Can you imagine if life really worked that way?
Hoop: People peeing all over stuff they want?
Tink: Yeah. But then you'd have to keep peeing on it. You could never leave. Otherwise you'd come home from work and someone else would be living in your house because they marked it while you were gone.
Hoop: True.
Tink: Unless you invented a sprinkler system that continuously marked the house for you!

Hoop Quote Of The Day:
You know what I'm not going to miss when we move? Dinner with your family. It's like watching homeless people at a soup kitchen. I actually got mad at Lil Bit's friend last night because he took too much bread. And he's only 12!

December Hit Statistics:
1. The leading countries for visits on my blog were the US and Canada.
2. The primary day for hits was Friday.
3. The most popular hour being 4pm.
4. The top referrers were Jay and Sassy.
5. The most used search term was, "saggy scrotum."
6. My favorite search terms were, "christmas in the ghetto," and "pickled farts."
7. The highest hit post (244) was on December 11th, the Monday after I gave out the Golden Spork Awards.

31 Quirks for 31 Days:
1. I once made a love-making CD as a Valentines gift for all my friends.
2. They were like opals...
3. ...only lucky for the people getting them.
4. Two nights ago I pulled my shoulder carrying a 24 pack of Cokes.
5. Which is probably one of the most embarrassing things I've admitted to in a long time.
6. I only share my food with people I really like...
7. ...a neurosis I developed in high school, watching all the other kids eat while I eye-balled their food.
8. I'm sure they weren't all that comfortable with it either, now that I think about it.
9. I still use my fingers when I count.
10. The other day my boss congratulated me for arriving to work on time for the last six months.
11. I've been 3-15 minutes late every day for three years.
12. Maybe if I'm 30 minutes late I'll get a raise!
13. Hoop loves my "homemade" green beans and almonds...
14. ...which come from a box.
15. I've been described as "girly, with tomboy tendencies."
16. My finger/toe nails peel.
17. The rednecks around here hang big brass balls off their trailer hitches.
18. Maybe I could get rich by making big brass tits!
19. Hoop used to think only pregnant women had bumps on their nipples, like mouth grips for babies.
20. Some people are born with photographic memories...
21. ...the other 80% of people have pornographic ones.
22. I like questions that have no answers.
23. Did socks start off with left and right matches?
24. Do you think the Wicked Witch was made of sugar?
25. Why doesn't super glue stick to itself?
26. I think Hoop is smarter than I am.
27. It's just not immediately obvious because I'm more organized.
28. I went to school with a guy who had three birthdays...
29. The one on his birth certificate, the other his Mom swore by, and the one written in his family's bible.
30. They were two and three days apart from one another.
31. I think it was a cover-up for his adoption.

Did you know? "January is named for Janus (Ianuarius), the god of the doorway and beginnings in Roman mythology. Which means, 'January is the door to the year.'" (
Wikipedia)

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20 Comments:

At 03 January, 2007, Anonymous mamatulip said...

Pickled farts? That just made me snort. The kind of snort that hurts.

I only share my food with people I like too...and I still use my fingers when I count.

 
At 03 January, 2007, Anonymous wordgirl said...

I wonder what people would say when comparing my family at the dinner table with that of Mr. Half? I might have to think about this one.

 
At 03 January, 2007, Blogger Chris said...

Really truly they hang brass balls from their trailer hitches?! Ewww.

Just think - if your peeing scenario were true, it'd be so smelly, no one would ever visit!

 
At 03 January, 2007, Blogger Mike Y said...

The whole peeing on homes put a huge smile on my face.

And you totally cracked me up with the dinner quote from Hoop. I just about peed my pants :) Tell Hoop not to pick on 12 year olds. It doesn't look good. LMAO!

 
At 03 January, 2007, Blogger Jay said...

WOW ... I know you are pretty open here on your blog but I'm surprised you admited the love making .. OHHHHHHHHH ... you said CD ... NOT DVD .. I see now. Never mind.

"20. Some people are born with photographic memories...
21. ...the other 80% of people have pornographic ones."


Hey .. I resemble that remark. ;-)

 
At 03 January, 2007, Blogger tammy said...

Are you in Starke?

 
At 03 January, 2007, Blogger Tink said...

Mamatulip: Why would someone pickle farts? Can't they just make more?

Wordgirl: Once you think on it can I request a post? I love how you describe your families.

Chris: Really and truly. I couldn't figure out what they were at first. Because WHO expects to see that hanging off a truck?

Mike Y: He says he can't be held accountable for his actions when he's hungry. ;)

Jay: LMAO! My fellow gutterhead.

Tammy: Good guess! Close to. Was it the brass balls that tipped you off? :D

 
At 03 January, 2007, Blogger meno said...

But think how much pee you would need to keep the sprinklers going. I was in Mexico once at some fancy hotel and there was a sign in the bathroom that read: All the water in this hotel has been personally passed by the manager."
A busy, busy man.

 
At 03 January, 2007, Blogger Newt said...

First I have to say I'm a little surprised that you actually stopped at 31. That's SO not like you. Everything okay??????

ha ha ha ha

I realized when I was in CA with my folks what is strange about my family meals: We all read. Dead silence and everyone's nose is in a book. Go figure.

 
At 03 January, 2007, Anonymous Susan said...

I think you should run with the brass boobs idea. Just think how popular those busty girls are on the mud flaps...ya just need the right marketing.

 
At 03 January, 2007, Blogger Foo said...

1) So... what was it? Impassioned moaning noises and sighs?

9) Doesn't everyone? Especially when counting things that aren't numerical. Like when you go on a trip and you need to count out how many pairs of underwear and socks you need to take.

17) Is that what those are? I just thought the rednecks around here were dangling their soap-on-a-rope from the bumper or something.

21) At least I'm in good company.

22) Why do you suppose that is?

 
At 03 January, 2007, Blogger gawilli said...

So was there music on the cd to play while making love?

Steven Wright was really great at questions that have no answers. Have you heard him?

 
At 04 January, 2007, Blogger Sunshine said...

I'm peeing on your blog because I wish it was mine.

 
At 04 January, 2007, Blogger Foo said...

P.S. January is named for Janus (Ianuarius)

In my what??

 
At 04 January, 2007, Blogger Tink said...

Meno: Maybe it wouldn't have to be pure piss. Like 8 parts water to one part waste?

Did you ever imagine you'd be having this conversation?

Newt: I FORCED myself to stop at 31. I'm trying to better myself. That and my brain was starting to hurt from all that creative thinking. :)

I can't read and eat. I get shmutz on the pages.

Susan: Does that mean you'd buy a set? hehe

Foo: Nope, it was music. But some of the songs had moaning IN them. I should make another and have a PB contest for the winnings.

Gawilli: Haven't heard of him. But I'll definitely look him up now! Thank you.

Sunshine: LMAO! That is the funniest thing I've heard all week. I'm officially stamping it "Quote of the day."

 
At 04 January, 2007, Blogger Pamer said...

I've seen those hanging ball sack things up here on trucks as well. Northern Canadian rednecks!!! Whooo

i would buy the brass tits......**sheepish**

I am one of those rare...very rare people, that has a photographic pornographic memory...it's got to be only about .06% of the population.

 
At 04 January, 2007, Anonymous OddMix said...

Ewwww. A pee sprinkler.

Happy New Year! I am back from vacation and working my way around saying, "Hi!"

 
At 05 January, 2007, Blogger EE said...

The whole concept of peeing on houses sounded like a good idea actually...until you brought up the question of what happens when you leave. Good point. Although. Sprinklers w/ continual pee???? IDK...lmao, that seems just all sorts of wrong.

Do you have pple you don't know very well *asking* you to share your food with them???? I think I'm only comfortable sharing with my kids. And loved ones. Not random sharing. LOL

I love your lists of random quirks. :)

 
At 05 January, 2007, Blogger mrspao said...

Hehe :) You do make me smile!

 
At 05 January, 2007, Blogger tammy said...

Yes, the brass balls & something you posted another time (I think it may have had something to do with Walmart). That means you probably live within an hour of me :)

 

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