Tuesday, December 26, 2006

It's no virgin birth, but...

HOLIDAY RECAP:
1. Saturday, Nash came into town on a two week leave from Boot Camp.
2. Before leaving basic they made him sign a contract promising he wouldn't drive, drink, or smoke.

Tink: So mainly they don't want you to have any fun.
Nash: Pretty much.
Tink: Did they say anything about hookers?

3. We gave him a bottle of White Russian mix and Amarulla for Christmas. He was thrilled.
4. That night Nash, Hoop, Bob, and I went out to celebrate the holiday at the local bars down town.
5. I was on a mission to have fun. The boys were on a mission to find Nash a girlfriend.
6. Unfortunately the only girl we came across that met all of our standards was hanging out with four other dudes. I made a move anyway.
7. It wasn't until the end of the night, as the boys were trying to sweep me off for a beer run, that I realized how well my "move" had worked...
8. ...for me. Apparently she thought I was pretty cute.
9. On the way back to Grandma's, Bob struck up a conversation with a guy on a bicycle...
10. ...who decided to follow us home.
11. We passed around shots and asked our new friend about himself. "I'm a male whore," he sheepishly replied.
12. We laughed, thinking he was joking.
13. Then he suggested we call a local singles line for a little fun. It was free, so we agreed. We should have known something was off when he had all the numbers and prompt cues memorized.
14. Or the fact that every "joke" message he left began with "Hi, my name is Tom. I live in a brothel." Hmmm.
15. In the end Hoop sent the guy packing. He was just too creepy. But Tom-from-the-brothel didn't understand that. He decided we were outing him because he wasn't cool enough.
16. "Me, cool? Pfft. I'm the anti-cool baby."
17. Ten minutes later we forgotten he'd even been there.
18. We were too busy having a cherry fight in the backyard. No one knows where the hell the cherries came from though.
19. An hour later the boys dragged me out again for a little misadventure.
20. Which really means they wrestled each other all along the main street while I rolled my eyes and took pictures.
21. Then we paid a couple bums to take pictures with us. The best specimen was "Santa-Bum" who cheerfully told the boys to sit on his lap and then threatened to punch them when they wouldn't.

22. The day before Christmas was spent with Hoop's family. There was gift buying, gift opening, good food, and a poisoning.
23. But a trampling came before all that.
24. Two days prior, my parents took in a horse they'd never met before. He seemed like a suitable match...
25. ...until he decided to push my Mom down on Sunday and trample her. Good thing she's so tiny. She curled up in a ball beneath him where his hooves couldn't reach. After she was free she picked up her gun and-
26. Ok, so she didn't kill him. But she WANTED to. Instead she calmly called the carrier to take him back.
27. If that weren't enough drama for one day...
28. Hoop's Mom bought a 10 week old Cocker Spaniel puppy last week. She knew having a puppy would be hard work. She factored in the house breaking, the chewing, and the constant yapping. What she didn't factor in was her Mother's irrational fear of rodents.

Tink: What's all over the floor?
Hoop: Oh my God, it's Rat Poison.
Tink: It's what?!
Hoop: Mom, we have to rush the puppy to the vet. *Explains situation*
Mom: I'm sure she just ripped open the bag.

29. Luckily Hoop was not satisfied with that answer. He called the number on the back of the bag and a vet within 40 minutes of finding the poison.
30. They say she ate enough to kill her 3-4 times over. If we would have waited until after dinner, as Hoop's Mom suggested, it would have been too late.
31. The puppy is recovering right now. Although they won't be sure of her condition for three more weeks.
32. We searched the house afterward and found no less than 50 bags of poison scattered around the house. NONE had been eaten by rats.
33. Grandma claims she hears things scurrying around at night...
34. ...But she can't hear you talking to her a half a foot away. :)
35. Christmas morning brought the biggest haul Hoop and I have ever seen.
36. From Hoop I received the best present of all though, a painting by our favorite artist down town. There are only 35 in existence, and no prints.
37. It's of the building where Mom and Papa Bear got married and where Hoop and I would walk on our first dates. It's in the town where we met and shared a home. I can't think of anything more fitting to place in our new house.

What was your favorite present/memory this holiday season?


Contest courtesy of
Odd Mix:

Gift


(In All Its) Glory


(Some Random Weekend Pictures)

Nip


Saying "Hello"

Can you spot the bee in this picture?

Miracle Puppy

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21 Comments:

At 27 December, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Oh, that poor puppy!! I'm glad Hoop reacted so quickly.

Sounds like a great Christmas! But after that "sitting on Santa's lap" thing, I can't stop thinking about the movie Bad Santa... Have you seen the Badder Santa version?! *wide eyed*

 
At 27 December, 2006, Blogger Gracey said...

The puppy looks so sad in the picture; was this taken after she went to the vet and got help? It sounds like you did not have a boring Christmas at all! Hope the puppy recovers!

 
At 27 December, 2006, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

Sounds like you had a great Christmas! I love your recaps! :)

That is an adorable puppy!

 
At 27 December, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

I just love your recaps! You manage to have more interesting things happen to you in a single weekend than I have in an entire year. :-)

Great pictures. That pup is just darling. I'll keep my fingers crossed that she really will be okay.

 
At 27 December, 2006, Anonymous mamatulip said...

I see the bee!

I love your recaps too...I look forward to them. Sounds interesting, but good. Keep us posted on the puppy!

 
At 27 December, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

There really is never a boring minute with you guys is there? haha

Sounds like a great Christmas and that painting is way cool.

 
At 27 December, 2006, Blogger Peevish said...

Oh Thank the Gods for Hoop! Poor puppy!!

 
At 27 December, 2006, Blogger FA said...

Ummm...wow! I can honestly say I hope I never have a Christmas that starts with a trampling and progresses to a puppy poisoning. I'm glad to hear everyone is OK.

The painting is excellent. The Christmas tree photo is great as well.

 
At 27 December, 2006, Blogger Mary said...

Tink I'm glad your mom is alright! And the cutie puppy too.

That painting is awesome, I'm sure it's perfect for you :)

I'm glad you had a good weekend!

 
At 27 December, 2006, Anonymous the moody chick said...

What's Christmas without a little drama?!! lol!

What a lovely, meaningful gift you received.

 
At 27 December, 2006, Anonymous Ch3ll3 said...

Great recap! Loved the parts about Nash and *your* new girlfriend. The anti-cool and the painting! Paying homeless folks for pictures though? Um, weird. Thank gawd Hoop had his senses together and saved that puppy!!

 
At 27 December, 2006, Blogger Alien said...

[sigh] I remember the days when I had all sorts of "adventures" like you and Hoop do. Don't get me wrong... I adore my kids and wouldn't trade 'em for the world. But damn, when I hear your stories, I long (briefly) to be your age again, when I thought nothing of inviting random strangers to my home to do shots. LOL! YEEHAW!!!

And apparently, I'm the only one that's going to answer your questions. LOL! My favorite gift was a new digital camera from my mom. Her and I both know that eventually (when I like, hit the lottery), I'll be buying a really good, kick ass one. But since my old one was 5 years old and only 2.0 megapixels, I'll take the new one. ;)

My favorite memory? Tough call. Hannah was beside herself when she opened her new toolbench that she had asked for. Her giddiness was contagious and I remember the days when something like that could totally make your day.

Glad you had a good Christmas, girl! :)

 
At 27 December, 2006, Blogger EE said...

((((puppy))))

I love your recaps too. I look fwd to them. :)

 
At 28 December, 2006, Blogger eric said...

santa is, in fact, a bum.

e+

 
At 28 December, 2006, Blogger Sunshine said...

Loving the picture, especially since it has a special meaning for you. Awesome gift.

 
At 28 December, 2006, Anonymous wordgirl said...

That puppy is PRESHUS!! So glad he's going to be okay. And the near miss with your mom and the horse? I'd be laughing if I weren't so horrified at the near miss she had. Makes our holidays look positively boring.

 
At 28 December, 2006, Blogger mrspao said...

I love that puppy. I'm so glad she is ok.

 
At 02 January, 2007, Blogger acaligurl said...

that puppy has theeee sweetest face!

 
At 03 January, 2007, Anonymous TB said...

Your holidays sound like they were event and excitement filled. You have one of the most interesting lives of anyone I know!

Cute puppy... I hope he's proving to be alright after his near death experience.

 
At 05 January, 2007, Blogger graymama said...

I am so glad that your mom is okay!

Hoop is such a sweetie :-)

 
At 09 February, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi!
I like your story.
But you'd better take a look here to find a really DIFFERENT dating site.
Looks amazing, agree? :-)
You can also find my pics and more about me on my page www.livedatesearch.com/jessica
Read more about me or drop me a message from there.
Chao!
Jessica

 

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