Monday, December 11, 2006

Realtor Slayers

Weekend Recap:
1. On Saturday Mom and I ran out to do a little Christmas shopping.
2. The problem she's had on previous shopping trips is finding some of the items my brothers want.
3. Of course they're the most popular items of the year, making them damn near impossible to find.
4. Mom wasn't hopeful for our trip either. The malls and stores were packed.
5. But one after the other, we found them ALL.
6. Apparently I'm a good-luck shopping charm for other people.
7. I'm still one gift short for Hoop though, and I'm stumped.
8. I THOUGHT I was done a week ago. I'd planned out my gifts by October and had everything ordered and shipped before Thanksgiving.
9. But then Hoop went out and bought me the "most perfect present ever." Mom assures me it's not jewelry, although it IS expensive.
10. Suddenly my presents don't seem good enough.
11. And the things he'd really like (a big screen, a new car, a trip to the Playboy Mansion) are far too expensive for my budget. *Sigh*
12. Saturday night Hoop and I went out on a date. It was... interesting. We had dinner at The Pancake House. I had shrimp.
13. Shrimp, at The Pancake House.
14. Hoop vowed to never go back again. I think he said that the last time we ate there too. So we'll see what he thinks the next time he wants pancakes. ;)
15. Then we went to see
The Fountain, a movie I'd been looking forward to all week. We were two of five people in the theater. That should have been the first indication.
16. Hoop and I like films that make you think and aren't always the easiest to figure out. But THIS movie was like a bizarre acid trip.
17. Hoop hated it. I hate the fact that we couldn't stop talking about it and that I'm still trying to figure it out. But the goal of the night was to have some alone time with each other and I'm extremely grateful that we were able to.
18. Sunday we went house shopping with our new Realtor, who gets less and less friendly each time we meet her.
19. Hoop and I think we're the Realtor Slayers.
20. "Placed on Earth for the purpose of destroying all evil Real Estate Agents!"
21. ...or at least annoying them into submission.
22. The houses she showed us were in the Ghetto. At one point she freaked out because a young group of hoodlums were crossing over to our side of the street. "Get in the car! Get in the car NOW!" She screamed.
23. I've seen scarier kids at the Flea Market. But it still made me wonder, what the hell she was thinking when she brought us there?
24. An hour later she decided to give up for the day. "You guys have wine tastes on a beer budget," she joked. Only she wasn't really joking.
25. The crazy thing is, Hoop and I could probably get a better deal in the town we just moved from. Which, unlike the area we're looking in, is 10 minutes away from the beach AND a main highway.
26. I think we're back to searching by ourselves. (Tink&Hoop: 3, Realtors: 0)
27. On a lighter note, I think Hoop and I have found a new career. Anyone need a Realtor Slayer? For a higher rate we'll take care of lawyers, bill collectors, and used car salesman too!

Daily Hoop Conversation:
(Friday night)
Mom: Do you have to work tomorrow?
Hoop: Yeah... You guys are more than welcome to come with me.
Tink: I think I'll pass.
Hoop: No really, they don't mind.
Mom: What's in it for us?
Hoop: Coffee.
Tink: Do you see that machine in the kitchen? The fancy one by the sink. It makes coffee too!
Hoop: Yeah but not like this coffee.
Mom: Oh? What's so special about your coffee?
Hoop: Magic beans.
Mom: MAGIC beans.
Hoop: Uh huh.
Mom: *Laughs*
Tink: I think we're still going to pass.
Hoop: Ohhhh-kay. But don't be surprised if you wake up in the car in the morning.
Tink: And how do you plan on doing that?
Hoop: Have you forgotten? I drink magic bean coffee baby.

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Hoop: I'm so excited about your Christmas gift.
Tink: Oh yeah?
Hoop: You're going to LOVE it.
Tink: And you said Mom wants one?
Hoop: MmHmm.
Tink: I have no idea... Why don't you just tell me what it is?
Hoop: *Think's for a moment* OK.
Tink: Really?
Hoop: Sure. It's a robot.
Tink: A robot?
Hoop: Yeah, a lifesize one. It cooks, and cleans, and does laundry.
Tink: Just what I've always wanted!
Hoop: And it flies!
Tink: Can it fly with me on it?
Hoop: Of course.
Tink: What else does it do?
Hoop: It builds houses.
Tink: Wow babe. That's the best present EVER.
(Five minutes later)
Tink: So, what is it really?
Hoop: I told you! It's a robot.

Hoop Quote Of The Day:
You can always tell a gypsy by the white wall on their tires.

Not Far From The Tree:
(While driving around Christmas shopping)
Mom: I think I'm pissing off this guy behind me.
Tink: I've stopped caring what strangers think about me.
Mom: Yeah?
Tink: Yeah. They're only three second thoughts anyway.
Mom: Wow. That was really profound.
Tink: I know...
Mom: *Snort* You had no idea that was going to come out of your mouth, did you?
Tink: Nope.

I didn't take a single picture this weekend! I know, shocking. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't head over to
Odd Mix's and see how everyone else played.

P.S. If you haven't picked up your Golden Spork yet, please do so below.


At 11 December, 2006, Blogger Pamer said...

I'll always have the greatest reverence for those stout individuals who call themselves "the Reator Slayers"...(cue suspenseful music)

At 11 December, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

I was wondering about that movie. It looked pretty cool. Hmm maybe I'll wait for dvd. Next one up for me will be Eragon.

Sounds like a fun weekend. If all else fails, move on up here :-) We have "beaches" and we have great shopping, and we have beer. And wine for that matter. And none of that pesky year round sun and warmth either. Hey, and no hurricanes.

At 11 December, 2006, Blogger mamalujo1 said...

Lawyers are indestructible, you know. What with pure evil and all...

At 11 December, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

#23? Seriously? It reminds me of that ReMax commercial where the greaseball realtor makes the clients wear blindfolds so they can't see all the great houses he's passing by. Gah! House hunting in this market sucks because the sellers STILL haven't realized it's a buyers market and the prices are so freaking jacked up. I feel for you guys. We're in the same boat. Hey... a boat for a house, that's not such a bad idea.

At 11 December, 2006, Blogger Jess Riley said...

Wow, that realtor sounds like a real cupcake.

Hey, want to move to Wisconsin? There are LOTS of cheap (I mean INEXPENSIVE) homes for sale in my neighborhood! And you'd still be in a small drinking village, but with an ICE fishing problem.

At 11 December, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

What IS the deal with realtors down there. Maybe I should move there and get my realtor's license. I will get lots of business just by being half-way decent to people alone.

Did you wee that I'm so proud of my Golden Spork that I put my golden spork on my sidebar??

At 11 December, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

What IS the deal with realtors down there. Maybe I should move there and get my realtor's license. I will get lots of business just by being half-way decent to people alone.

Did you wee that I'm so proud of my Golden Spork that I put my golden spork on my sidebar??

At 11 December, 2006, Blogger Steven Novak said...

Wait, wait, what is it really? A robot? Really? ;)


At 11 December, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Pamer: You mean there are MORE? Maybe we could create an elite fighting force!

Newt: I can't wait for Eragon to come out. Have you read the books? I can't believe the author was only 17.

Mamalujo1: I would only go after the EVIL lawyers. Good ones are endangered and protected I think. :)

TB: A house boat... Hey that's not a bad idea! We could relocate whenever we wanted. We'd have the best view around. And free seafood. I think you're on to something here Teebs.

Jess Riley: I'm beginning to believe they're either all like that or Hoop and I are magnets for them. Florida to Wisconsin... I think I would go into shock.

Jay: I noticed! You're awesome. That made my morning for sure.

At 11 December, 2006, Blogger tammy said...

I am buying a house this week & need to sell my house, so I may need you slaying services. Also, I live in FL too, you can buy my house (but it isn't in the ghetto).

At 11 December, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

*boggle* Do you have any friends of friends who are realtors?! Dang.

I had to find my place, too - the realtor just made getting to see it and doing the paperwork a lot easier.

At 11 December, 2006, Blogger Mary said...

WTG getting all the shopping done...well your mom anyways...

I haven't bought ANYTHING for Tom. I have no idea what to get him. None at all. So it'll probably end up being something stupid like a gc to a bike shop. I'd rather do better, but oh well...

You'll find the perfect house, it'll fall in to your laps. Even if it is located in Oregon...wink wink

At 11 December, 2006, Blogger Sunshine said...

I heart my Golden Spork! I shall have to give a shout out as being "perfectly quirky" was something I aspired to be growing up. Yeah, mission accomplished!
And I think Hoop got you a Roomba, for your new house, or the cardboard shack you're in now, whatever works.

At 11 December, 2006, Blogger gawilli said...

Knowing you will receive "the most perfect present ever" sure puts the pressure on a girl. Geez.

At 11 December, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

Realtor slayer; too funny! Can you do anything about cable companies with lots of service outages?

At 12 December, 2006, Blogger EE said...

*I'M* excited for your Christmas gift from Hoop! Do you think he could email all of us and tell US, so WE know?!?!?! LOL! Bc I'm dying here....

And I'm sorry but I was LMAO about your realtor freaking out about the 'hoodlums' crossing the street. *snort!*

At 12 December, 2006, Blogger Gracey said...

Tink, you may have psycho realtors, but I have a pyscho cat. Well, at least that is what my vet told me in so many words; He's anxiety driven were the exact words....which spells out to psycho! :) It was yesterday's post so stop by plus I did the weekend words for the first time. I was very proud of myself; Jay helped me get the pictures on because I'm computer illiterate! :)

At 12 December, 2006, Anonymous mamatulip said...

I've heard that The Fountain was kind of...strange. What's it about?

I can't wait to hear what Hoop has gotten you. You'd better post on Christmas Day, girl. LOL!

And I cannot get over your realtor. Taking you to the ghetto is one thing, but the beer/wine comment? Blows me away. Can you guys get rid of her?

At 12 December, 2006, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

For some strange reason, I did not get the words for this week. Where have I been? I could have sworn I checked to see what they were too.


At 12 December, 2006, Blogger Peggy said...

I encourage your role as Realtor slayer. Their kind deserve to die.

At 12 December, 2006, Anonymous wordgirl said...

There's a special place in hell reserved for realtors. Especially ones who diss the budget you have. Slay on, Tink!

At 12 December, 2006, Anonymous Lily said...

What is this gift? What??

Tink I hated the Realtors down there too. I believe you. I have beer taste though with a hubby who swears that "will pass".

I had the opposite here, where they kept showing me things way over budget saying "ah, you have wiggle room". Wiggle room? Nobody has that kind of wiggle room. Did they want to depress me? Toy with the sellers who would think I was serious?

In Florida, they didnt listen to me either. I was shown nothing but things that were in opposition to what I described. "I dont want a gated community." "Yes,you really do.

What about an older home? Oh you'll never get insurance. And suppose your kid breaks a window- you need hurricane glass.

What about the schools? Oh, they're all good since George Dubya Bush and Jeb!

Really? Please go slay them. Please. Bring back a head.

Till then I prefer the internet. No small talk. No teaser homes. No telling me what I really want. And pajamas.

At 13 December, 2006, Blogger mrspao said...

Hope you find a nice house soon. Your realtor sounds very odd!!!


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