It's Not Over Until It's Over
Yesterday on my way home Hoop called to ask if I was OK.
To which I replied:
(For optimal effect read quick and loudly)
"I waited all morning for our stupid Realtor to call and give me the address of the title company where we were supposed to meet. When she finally called, it was only to inform me that the buyers were STILL not ready to close. Apparently their mortgage company is waiting on their W-2 forms. Which is ludicrous since my mortgage company required that information before I could be approved. Evidently he works for a privately owned business, which doesn't keep those records on file. So he made a request to the IRS, but it's going to take 24 to 48 hours to ship. And what I really want to know is why the hell they didn't take care of this a month ago?!"
"Then the Realtor called me back to tell me she thinks the contract is going to fall through and that 'Look at the bright side, at least you'll get $500 back from their deposit!' I told her that amount wouldn't even cover the cost of getting the utilities turned back on. But what I really wanted to tell her was how much I'd LOVE to use that money to get her head extracted from her ass. She called me back a couple hours later to say that the contract is still valid, but the closing has been delayed again. 'Don't stress about this.' Like it's just that easy. Now I'm stuck coming in an hour early tomorrow and Thursday because I promised work I'd make up the time."
"I'm tired and I'm stressed and some dude almost took off my fucking hand trying to pass me at the intersection. Plus I read CNN.com before I left, which was a HUGE mistake because now I can't stop thinking about that baby that got microwaved and bawling my eyes out. Or that lady who struck her seven year old son on the head with a hammer. They say the boy 'lived for a week longer, listless, unable to walk/talk/eat, and reeking of piss.' And they just let him lie there until he died so they could bury the body! So I've come to the conclusion that we're all doomed. Our society is completely poisoned babe. Now I'm fighting traffic to get home. And when I get there I have to go grocery shopping and make dinner because I promised Mom that I would and I hate going back on my word. So NO, I'm not OK today!"
There was a long pause before Hoop replied. "Oh."
And then, "Should I call you back later?"
Um yeah, that's probably a good idea.
November Search Terms:
(What people put into search engines that bring them here)
1. Skank Hoe
2. Funniest Car Accidents Those are the ones where no one gets hurt right?
3. Hermorphodite clown Two words that should never be next to each other. Like, "Bush" and "Smart."
4. intercourse slang Can be found HERE.
5. How to make a ghetto christmas tree First, get a saw. Next, cut down one of the trees in your neighbors yard. If the trailer next door doesn't have trees you can substitute with a stick in a pot or a tree that you found discarded on the side of the road after the holidays. A true ghetto tree is ALWAYS out of season. Then, decorate. I prefer beer cans, paper chains, lightbulbs, paperclips, and shoe laces. But anything else found in the neighbors trash can will do too.
DOT: Twisted Tink has been updated with a new chapter, "Smudge On The Rug.". Curious what the title means? I suggest you flit on over and check it out!