Wednesday, November 29, 2006

It's Not Over Until It's Over

Yesterday on my way home Hoop called to ask if I was OK.

To which I replied:

(For optimal effect read quick and loudly)

"I waited all morning for our stupid Realtor to call and give me the address of the title company where we were supposed to meet. When she finally called, it was only to inform me that the buyers were STILL not ready to close. Apparently their mortgage company is waiting on their W-2 forms. Which is ludicrous since my mortgage company required that information before I could be approved. Evidently he works for a privately owned business, which doesn't keep those records on file. So he made a request to the IRS, but it's going to take 24 to 48 hours to ship. And what I really want to know is why the hell they didn't take care of this a month ago?!"

"Then the Realtor called me back to tell me she thinks the contract is going to fall through and that 'Look at the bright side, at least you'll get $500 back from their deposit!' I told her that amount wouldn't even cover the cost of getting the utilities turned back on. But what I really wanted to tell her was how much I'd LOVE to use that money to get her head extracted from her ass. She called me back a couple hours later to say that the contract is still valid, but the closing has been delayed again. 'Don't stress about this.' Like it's just that easy. Now I'm stuck coming in an hour early tomorrow and Thursday because I promised work I'd make up the time."

"I'm tired and I'm stressed and some dude almost took off my fucking hand trying to pass me at the intersection. Plus I read before I left, which was a HUGE mistake because now I can't stop thinking about that baby that got microwaved and bawling my eyes out. Or that lady who struck her seven year old son on the head with a hammer. They say the boy 'lived for a week longer, listless, unable to walk/talk/eat, and reeking of piss.' And they just let him lie there until he died so they could bury the body! So I've come to the conclusion that we're all doomed. Our society is completely poisoned babe. Now I'm fighting traffic to get home. And when I get there I have to go grocery shopping and make dinner because I promised Mom that I would and I hate going back on my word. So NO, I'm not OK today!"

There was a long pause before Hoop replied. "Oh."

And then, "Should I call you back later?"

Um yeah, that's probably a good idea.

November Search Terms:
(What people put into search engines that bring them here)
1. Skank Hoe
2. Funniest Car Accidents Those are the ones where no one gets hurt right?
3. Hermorphodite clown Two words that should never be next to each other. Like, "Bush" and "Smart."
4. intercourse slang Can be found
5. How to make a ghetto christmas tree First, get a saw. Next, cut down one of the trees in your neighbors yard. If the trailer next door doesn't have trees you can substitute with a stick in a pot or a tree that you found discarded on the side of the road after the holidays. A true ghetto tree is ALWAYS out of season. Then, decorate. I prefer beer cans, paper chains, lightbulbs, paperclips, and shoe laces. But anything else found in the neighbors trash can will do too.

DOT: Twisted Tink has been updated with a new chapter,
"Smudge On The Rug.". Curious what the title means? I suggest you flit on over and check it out!


At 29 November, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

Oh man. What a mess! I swear you have been so much more patient and kind to your real estate agent than I would have been.

Here's hoping it'll all still work out.

At 29 November, 2006, Anonymous mamatulip said...

Oh, Tink. I'm sorry that this has turned all screwball-y on you. Hang in there and I know it's easier said than done, but try not to stress. Can you and Hoop take off tonight for like, a coffee or just...some downtime? You guys really deserve it.

I can't read stories like the ones you mentioned on for the same reasons. I saw the headlines about the baby and I just *couldn't*. It's just too upsetting.

Hang in there, Tink...hey, if you need a place to stay, I've got room! It's pretty mild here right now, too! ;)

At 29 November, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

Sending huge huge huge *hug* your way.

A true friend will help you hide a body, so just let me know if you need my help. You have lot's of swamp land down in Florida right?

again I say: *HUG*

At 29 November, 2006, Blogger mamalujo1 said...

Sending good thoughts too.

Just please let us know if there is anything any of us can do.

Now off to read.

At 29 November, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

That sucks! Sucks! You should check out from another realtor if there's a way you can recoup more money if the deal does fall through.

And thank you for the update on Nauseating Stories about Children. Doses of Tink, now with 50% more child gore!

At 29 November, 2006, Blogger Betty said...

You've been more patient with your realtor than I was with my first one. After six months, she had not shown the house once, and my contract with her was up, so I fired her little white ass and got another realtor, who actually went to work and sold the house. Good luck with your "pending and pending and pending contract".

At 29 November, 2006, Blogger sassybead said...

I'm sitting here thinking that realtor had better not ask you:
1. For any referrals
2. To fill out any customer satisfaction surveys

At least she won't be if she doesn't want to get it with both barrels!! I'm with Newt. I watch lots of CSI... maybe I can give you some body-hiding tips!

Next time Hoop asks, tell him he better meet you at the door with a frosted tall one. Meanwhile, here's another *hug!*

At 29 November, 2006, Blogger Gracey said...

What a nightmare, Tink! I'm so sorry you have to go through this and I agree with Jay about you being all too patient with that realtor.

At 29 November, 2006, Blogger KTP said...

I hate reading the news, watching the news, hearing the news on the radio, etc. I saw a quick headline on my internet home page this morning about a baby and a microwave and I closed that page as quick as I possibly could. I refuse to let that idea into my brain!

At 29 November, 2006, Blogger Peevish said...

Oh Tink, I'm sorry you're having such a crappy day! *hugs*

At 29 November, 2006, Blogger Mike Y said...

Hang in there Tink. I know it really sucks right now.

At 29 November, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Mind if I come down and kick your realtor's annoying ass for you?! Sheesh...

At 29 November, 2006, Blogger EE said...

Oh man.....this is more than any chick should have to go through to sell a freaking HOUSE. My god! (((you)))

Yeah...CNN....possibly pass on that one while feeling slightly stressed.

*hugs* girl, hang in there.

At 30 November, 2006, Anonymous eric said...

i hadn't known about either of those stories.

all i can say is that every day this world breaks my heart. it's almost too much sometimes. i find myself at work laying my head on the keyboard, because for whatever reason i feel an obligation to read about that so i can know how to stop it if at all possible.

stick with it. it'll all work out.


At 30 November, 2006, Anonymous Ch3ll3 said...

That agent is so damn FIRED it's not even funny! I hate her and she hasn't even had the pleasure of my sparkling company. *snark*

Hoop: This is the part where you step in, have the shopping done by the time Tink gets home and help her (if not do it yourself) make dinner! Choosing to be together forever in a committed relationship does not mean you get to stop trying to impress her. Besides, you will be duly rewarded at the appropriate time *wink wink*.

At 30 November, 2006, Blogger acaligurl said...

that a stupid realtor!! u need to say BUH BYE!

At 30 November, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

So sorry about the delayed closing!


I hope you do something nice and relaxing this weekend!

At 30 November, 2006, Blogger Pamer said...

we're entering the season of miracles so, you know, anything can happen.


At 30 November, 2006, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

Wow, Tink! I am sorry to hear all that! I sure hope that things work out and today is a much smoother one for you!

I will even pray that the house situation works out and that you can just "move on!"

At 30 November, 2006, Anonymous OddMix said...

Darn, that SUCKS. And it would take farr more than $500 to get her head out of her ass - chest surgery costs thousands.

At 30 November, 2006, Anonymous Turtle said...

OMG! I didn't see that headline about the baby. WTF! I am so glad I didn't. I say we should torture that individual the same way! I'm incensed!

Now I really need to go outside and chill. Damned good thing we got that cold front coming through.

What is our world coming to???????

At 30 November, 2006, Blogger mrspao said...

Hug hug hug hug hug hug hug and more hugs!

At 01 December, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

You've got to be fucking kidding me. I'm so so sorry. I really thought you were bulletproof by now.

I hope you'll be posting this afternoon to say that it's all finished.

PS I hate your real estate agent. Hate.


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