Monday, November 13, 2006

Monday Again?

Weekend Recap:
1. Friday night Hoop and I went over to his family's house, where I had to listen to yet another person's advice on house hunting and how I'm doing everything wrong.
2. Only, this person also implied I was not looking out for Hoop's best interest.
3. I think I'm developing an eye-twitch...
4. ...and my life is starting to feel like a very confusing infomercial. "Don't buy for six more months! Don't move for two more years. The market is dropping! The market is rising! It's a buyer's world. It's a seller's dream. You're not going to get what you want. Don't settle for what's not best. Move here. No, move here. You don't want to move there. Can't you afford a little bit more? Buy, buy, buy!"
5. *Clicks air-remote* Mute.
6. When people ask how it's going, I'm going to start replying, "Fine." That's it. No details.
7. Maybe if I talk less they'll have less to comment about.
8. I could become a mime!
9. Saturday morning I gave Hoop a "Honey Do" list and left for an all ladies Kahlua Party.
10. There were so many fascinating people to talk to there. I almost didn't want to leave.
11. Like the witty nurse from Jacksonville. "We call the ER the 'Rod and Gun Club.' At the beginning of the month they can afford bullets, because their welfare checks have come in. So we get a lot of shooting victims. At the end of the month, once the money runs out, we get a lot of stabbings and beatings."
12. Or the photographer who spent a week at
Burning Man. "They resurrect a city in the middle of an empty dessert, and then they destroy it a week later. Some people stay behind for a month afterward for cleanup. But in the end, there's no trace of what had been or what might be in years to come. Some go for the drugs. Some go for the inspiration or to work as artists. Most go out of curiosity. But whatever your reasons, you leave with something so much more than you came with."
13. And the sassy housewife. "I only go to Tupperware parties for the free wine."
14. As I was leaving I announced loudly, "Thank you ladies, it's been fun. But now I have to go buy some cock." In all actuality I said "caulk." But it took them a few seconds to realize that.
15. "You know, the stuff you put down in the shower?" On the way home I couldn't stop thinking about the post
Chris Cactus wrote about caulk (and balls). It's a small world Dude.
16. Saturday afternoon Hoop and I fixed all the things the inspector had wrote on the list. It went smoother than planned, save for an incident involving exploding caulk (not "cock" you gutterheads, we've moved past that) and some puppy prints in the fresh grout.
17. We decided to reward ourselves Saturday night by going to a party Hoop's boss was throwing.
18. We got a bit lost along the way though...

Hoop: What are we looking for again?
Tink: A dolphin mailbox... Oooh, there it is!
Hoop: *Turns into driveway*
Tink: No, that's a swordfish.
Hoop: Well, let's try it anyway.
Tink: I'm pretty sure that's NOT it.

19. It wasn't. Thirty minutes later we found the correct house. The rental property Hoop's boss' boyfriend lived at was nothing more than a cottage. It was slightly overgrown and under-kept. So we didn't really expect much when they offered to show us the dock.
20. The "dock" turned out to be a $300,000, two story monstrosity with a million dollar boat attached. "That's some dock," Hoop gasped.
21. Sunday morning Hoop packed up the car for a quick drop-off at my parents' house.
22. Can you tell he played a lot of Tetris as a kid?

23. After unloading the car at my parents', we headed out to meet our new Realtor. Most of the houses we saw looked like they'd been built in a mold and stuck on a postage stamp. Hoop admired their streamline architecture. I bemoaned their tiny yards.
24. One of the houses I had requested to look at turned out to be right next to some railroad tracks. *Sigh* And evidently on the wrong side of them.
25. Another house, our Realtor refused to show us. "It's been on the market for over a year because it... smells." I pressed her as to WHAT the house smelled like. "Cat piss? Mold?" She hesitated. "Well, a woman died in it. They didn't find her body for two weeks. They've tried everything, and nothing will get out the smell. It's enough to put you off your lunch."
26. Not to mention house hunting for the day.

Hoop: Why didn't they find her for two weeks?
Realtor: She was going through a divorce, and apparently really ill.
Tink: That's awful! Did she have pets?
Hoop: Oh my God, did they EAT her?
Realtor: *Blink*
Tink: I was wondering if they starved. But when you put it that way-

27. Hoop fell in love with one of the first houses we looked at. It's a 15 year old jewel sitting on 1/2 acre lot. It needs a lot of TLC though.
28. Not to mention a new AC, some carpet, and an all over (outside and in) paint job. Plus it's a bit out of price range.
29. I have faith something is going to work out, and hopefully soon. The pickings seem to be getting pretty slim.

Countdown Until Hoop And I Are Homeless: 8 Days

(Some Random Weekend Pictures)
Nectar


"Sailor's Delight"


Cardboard Only

19 Comments:

At 13 November, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

I've never gone house hunting, but some day if I do decide to buy I'm going to be pretty picky. And the number one rule will be no houses that somebody died in. In addition to the smell and general creepiness they're probably haunted.

 
At 13 November, 2006, Blogger spellconjurer said...

Mostly when I get tired of my house, I just burn it down, and then rebuild with insurance money.

 
At 13 November, 2006, Blogger mamalujo1 said...

Everybody will want to give you advice, even me, but you'll go crazy if you try to take any of it. Somehow, I very much doubt that you (Yes, I mean YOU) will make any mistakes worse than any that the rest of us would make if we were in your current position. So, rely on yourself, ask when YOU want to, and soldier on confident that you will make good calls on this house hunting.

And some advice? Your decisions won't be the the right ones or wrong ones, or even the best ones you could make. Because there will be no right, wrong or best decisions, just better ones. And you'll nail those.

So smart, and yet so pretty too. Can you cook?

 
At 13 November, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

If you aren't creeped out check out the smelly house. It may just need to be REALLY aired out. Or, it's possible that you just need to replace the flooring where she died. At worst the sub flooring. But you could get an estimate on that and have that knocked off the asking price. Plus that is a house that needs some good vibes. It's crying out for happiness, love, and a family. Right? Sort of the Charlie Brown tree of houses. And at this point you could probably get it for a steal.

Another bonus. If someone is at your house and you want them to leave you just have to mention the history of the house. And that every once in a while you hear "noises". They'll be gone before you can say "why did we answer the door????"

 
At 13 November, 2006, Blogger Mike Y said...

Yuk!!! It's one thing to have a house that stinks, but "I smell dead people" is just too much ;)

And LOL! did the cat's eat her??? You guys think of everything.

I can fully believe you're becoming a bit numb from all of the advice. It definitely happens.

 
At 13 November, 2006, Anonymous Ch3ll3 said...

My only piece of advice for house-hunting: tell everyone to shut the f*ck up and do what you want to do.

There. 'Nuff said.

Love the pictures!

 
At 13 November, 2006, Blogger Foo said...

Ah... where to start? First, let me say you guys are in my thoughts (and prayers, if you accept that sort of thing). Just reading about you guys' experiences is giving me Vietnam... er... house selling flashbacks.

An anecdote: We hadn't yet sold the old house, but had closed on the new one. We were packing up and I was in charge of emptying a spare bedroom closet that was packed solid with stuff I hadn't seen since I'd bought the place (pre-Turtle). Turned out that I had had some sort of bug problem at some point. The bugs were gone, but they'd eaten the lower third of my old Korg Poly-800 synth's cardboard box. And parts of the baseboard and sheetrock. And excreted some sort of guck that turned what was left... well, anyway. It was a mess.

So just as we thought we'd gotten everything all cleaned up and fixed up, I was off to Home Depot for some of that magical epoxy putty. With which I sculpted about four new inches of baseboard trim. Much sanding priming and desperate paint matching followed.

One might ask, "Why go to so much trouble for the inside corner of a closet? No one would look there." Maybe. Maybe not. I couldn't afford to take the chance.

Onward...

4) "Don't buy for six more months! Don't move for two more years. The market is dropping! The market is rising! It's a buyer's world. It's a seller's dream..." Ponder this: if you're selling a home and planning on buying another, you're going to be on both sides of what-everrr cycle the market's in. Unless you're planning to live on the street or go back to renting, you just have to deal.

14. As I was leaving I announced loudly, "Thank you ladies, it's been fun. But now I have to go buy some cock." In all actuality I said "caulk." There are just so many ways I could riff on this. All of them wrong. Moving on...

22. Can you tell he played a lot of Tetris as a kid? I thought I was good, but I bow before the master packer.

25. "They've tried everything, and nothing will get out the smell. It's enough to put you off your lunch." Back at the old house (again, before Turtle but while we were dating long distance), my water heater burst and flooded much of the ground floor. The insurance company sent in restoration specialists to put the place right again, and I got to talking to one of the workers.

"What's the worst you've ever seen?" I asked.

"It had to be that time the sewer backed up in that one house. Flooded the place with all sorts of sh-- waste about three feet up the walls." He grinned--not quite the reaction one would expect when reminiscing about such a vile experience. "But we get a lot of cases where people have blown their heads all over the walls with a shotgun. Those are pretty coo-- tragic too."

At least your realtor warned you off.

 
At 13 November, 2006, Blogger Gracey said...

Did you fire your other realtor? No worries, I will definitely skip any house hunting advice, but from personal experience, it really is a pain in the butt. Don't you just want to tell everyone to shut up? We heard the same things as you guys did when we bought our house in Texas....everyone else thinks they know what is best!

 
At 13 November, 2006, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

Tink, How are you? Hahaha! Just kidding!

That picture with the boxes and Tetris made me laugh. That's too funny. Also, the picture of Hoop in the cardboard box is cute!

I'm telling you. Come live here. It's nice out in CA! :)

 
At 13 November, 2006, Blogger Lucia said...

That Kahlua party sounds like it was great! Good luck with finding a house soon (as in the right house). Great pics!

 
At 13 November, 2006, Blogger eric said...

when people ask me "howya doin'?" as a greeting, i respond "is that a rhetorical question?"

e+

 
At 14 November, 2006, Blogger mrspao said...

You should smile and say "Ever thought about moving" or "So Hoop, how would you like to live here until x,y and z happens". It might just put them in their place!

 
At 14 November, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Jay: I think I could deal with "haunted." I currently live in the most haunted city in Florida. But the smell thing really gets me. It's one thing when you don't know where it came from. But to know? *Shudder*

Spellconjurer: LMAO! Where were you before I put the house on the market?

Mamalujo1: Thank you! I know there are no correct decisions. Usually I just wing it until something becomes clear. And then the comments started up... (NOT from any of you btw) It only made me feel insecure and unsure. I have to learn to block them out. Otherwise I'm going to have a hard time all through life.

Of course I cook! I'm Italian, I was born with a wooden (sauce) spoon in my mouth.

Newt: I can always count on you to go against the norm. I LOVE that about you. Maybe we will have a look at that house next weekend, just to see.

CH3ll3: Well said! lol.

Foo: >>Why go to so much trouble for the inside corner of a closet<< *Raises hand* I'm the same way. I bought this tubed grout (for a few holes between some tiles) and I spent two hours carefully making sure it was all even and smooth. You would have thought I was working on a piece of art.

Chelle Y: I can say one thing for packing (and moving) with Hoop. He keeps it interesting. :)

MrsPao: I always think of really witty and smart-ass things to say AFTER the situation has passed. I need to write these down for later.

 
At 14 November, 2006, Blogger Rude Cactus said...

I'm so glad my caulk and balls post continues to have a positive impact on society.

 
At 14 November, 2006, Blogger EE said...

First off, I tried relentlessly ALL freaking wkend to comment on your other two posts and NEVER COULD.....*&!*&@&# Blogger....

Anyways, that picture of the boxes and reference to Tetris is way too funny.

And as always I *love* your pics, ESPECIALLY the one of the 'sailor's delight'...it's just stunning.

 
At 14 November, 2006, Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

Thank god you got a new realtor - that old one was making me want to come down there and beat her ass on your behalf.

You WILL find your house!

 
At 14 November, 2006, Blogger Jess Riley said...

I always love reading your posts.

Hang in there on the house-hunting--as others here have said, you will find your new place soon!

Great photos. :)

 
At 14 November, 2006, Blogger graymama said...

Hubby and I looked at over 20 houses in 2 days to find our current home.(We were only in town for that weekend). You will find something :-)

I found quite a bit of delight in your "Sailor's Delight." :-)

 
At 20 November, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Weighing in very late - when I first tried to comment on this, blogger was broken (there's a shock, eh?).

All I can say is I'm glad your realtor was honest about that last house... yikes.

 

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