Rinse and Repeat
Four o'clock this morning I woke up to the sound of the dog gagging, again. Not wanting another incident like last time, I quickly threw Duff onto the floor. Then I realized I didn't have anything to clean up the carpet with, again. So I shot out of bed, yelling obscenities the whole way. This of course woke up Hoop, who responded by locking onto my arm and shouting, "What's wrong?" "Let go of my arm." I replied, trying desperately to get out of his vise grip. "The dog is puking!" This made Hoop jump out of bed too. "I thought you were having a nightmare," he mumbled sleepily. After a mad scramble, we both ended up at the back door. Minus one sick dog.
"Where is he?" Hoop asked, swinging the door wide. I shivered uncontrollably as the icy air blasted me in the face. "DUFF!" I called out. We heard his paws padding across the hallway. He was half a foot from the door when... "Blech." He threw up on the floor. "Ugh!" Hoop moaned. I looked down at the milky puddle on the floor. "Well, it's not shit." Hoop glanced at it and blinked a few times. "What is that?" "Disposable razor." "We really need to start feeding him twice a day." Then we crawled back in bed. Hoop forgot the whole thing ever happened. I remembered at seven o' clock this morning when I slipped on the puddle I'd forgotten to clean up.
Daily Hoop Conversation:
(While loading my SUV)
Hoop: What else can go into storage?
Tink: How about your "Calvin and Hobbes" books?
Hoop: No, I'm going to put those in my car. I might want to read them at lunch.
Tink: Ok. How about your bookends?
Hoop: Those are going in my car too.
Tink: Please tell me you're not going to use them for the "Calvin and Hobbes" books.
Hoop: What? No. I just want to keep them safe.
Tink: SAFE? Wait a second. Do you not trust this storage center?
Hoop: Pfft. Babe. I'm sure everything will be fine.
Tink: *Looks back at SUV* So, why are we only packing MY stuff?
November Search Terms:
(What people put into search engines that bring them here)
1. Butt nose I'd rather have no nose at all.
2. Pickled Bums Perfect stocking stuffers?
3. I don't do perky Me neither. Get the hell off my blog!
4. Ghetto Christmas That's my theme this year.
Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Tink: I had this crazy dream last night.
Hoop: About what?
Tink: You remember that skanky girl I told you about that went to high school with me?
Hoop: Who could forget?
Tink: I had a dream last night we were walking down town and saw her. She was wearing this vinyl cat suit with a diamond shape cut out of the middle. We walked up to her and she started talking to us. Then she bent down to get a cigarette, and when she stood back up her stuff was exposed.
Hoop: Like, what kind of stuff?
Tink: An enormous bush!
Hoop: *Cracks up*
Tink: She kept talking to us, totally oblivious. I just kept pointing at it and you couldn't stop laughing.
Tink: Isn't that enough? I kept pointing, and you kept laughing.
Hoop: That sounds about right.
Countdown Until Hoop And I Are Homeless: 7 Days