Poking the Puppy
Day One on Wellbutrin: I think he gave me placebos.
Still... It might be a good idea to test that orgasm theory tonight. Chris has got me all paranoid. Paranoia isn't a side effect is it?! See? No really, I'm just joking. You don't have to hide your kids, I swear.
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DISCLAIMER: Be prepared for strong sexual content in 5.2 seconds. The staff of Pickled Beef cannot be held liable if you continue reading and are appalled, offended, or corrupted. Thank you, that is all.
Speaking of orgasms. What do you call yours? Got any pet names for your significant other's member? Do you have code words for sexual acts? Here's some names I've used/heard/found. The ones in blue are my personal favorites. Drop your two cents in the box and feel free to coin any that you like.
Female Orgasm:
* Catching one
* O-train
* O-face
* Jasm
* Releasing the Hostages
* Splooge
* Squeezing the trigger
Semen Slang:
* Penis butter
* Man chowder
* Manthrax
* Dong water
* Population Paste
Intercourse slang:
* Riding the Baloney Pony
* Stir the macaroni
* Parking the Beef Bus in Tuna Town
* Press bellies
Foreplay:
* Having a dog ear sandwich
* Yodeling in the Canyon of Love
* Lapping the little man in the canoe
* Smoke the pole
* Suck the ice cream
* Feed the calf
* Powder your nose
* Jack the beanstalk
* Polish the purple helmet
END of Disclaimer
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Copyright© 2005-2008, Pickledbeef.blogspot.com. All rights reserved
27 comments
27 Comments:
I have never even heard most of this sexual slang! Suddenly, I'm feeling old.
You know the best cure for feeling old? Riding the baloney pony.
Ok, "Doses of Tink" should definately have come before the disclaimer section. Otherwise, me & my gutter mind read all kinds of different meanings into phrases like "Shoot the Wendy bird" and "I sharpened the Lost Boy's arrow."
Arabella: Pfft. You're NOT old. You just don't live around gutter heads like I do. Very vocal gutter heads.
Gradual Gardener: LMAO! Oh girl you're cracking me up. And I thought I had a dirty mind. ;)
Ummmm wow. LMAO What was that one a bit ago, you didn't list it here, it was in an entry you had like last wk. Do you have any clue what in the hell I'm talking about?!?!? (lol) Something about coins????
Sorry to scare ya... But it needed to be said! Just in case!!
Boy, I am so sheltered... I've never even HEARD 99% of the items on your list...
In high school, we used to call the beautiful act of lovemaking "Porking the tuna."
I probably said these before, but I had a very, um, expressive BF who called sex "punching the kitty" and "dunking the clown."
He also once imitated Grover during sex. I'm still scarred.
EE: I have the 3 second memory of a Goldfish. I can't remember what I wore last night to be- Huh? Did you say something? Who are you? Please fill in the gap.
Chris: Don't apologize. I adore you for the honesty. Now... Do these pants make me look fat?
Mama T: Do you think "Pickling the Beef" would catch on if I started using it?
Mrs. Harridan: *Snort* GROVER? Grover. Huh. I can feel my libido dying at the thought of it.
Every guy says
"Hey, I'm going to get some nookie"!
Probably! You could even say "Tickling the Beef" if you wanted to, you know, change it up a bit. ;)
Shoot, really? You don't remember? LOL...[sigh] I'll have to go search for it I guess. I'll be back.
Huh???
Double clicking the mouse!!!!!
LOL, I found it. :)
EE: Have I told you lately that I love you? I totally forgot about that one! Which is sad because I use it all the f'n time. Thank you.
i still remember that guy in "office space" talking about how "if things go right, i'll be showing her my o-face." a reversal, but that's what i remember.
i also remember from "there's something about mary" ... "baby batter."
e+
Man - I'm on the road today in a friggin' trailer in the Califronia Central Valley and I do NOT need to be reading this shit.
Man I love it when girls who say they looked like Allysa Milan talk this way.
And does Hoop see somebody who looks like Jen on the side?
LOL Tink, glad I could help!
I'm sure my significant other will just love me saying this....but being that him and I are very goofy, his "member" is affectionately called El Bonero. You have to roll the R.
And I've heard of "bumpin uglies" as intercourse slang.
I love the Tink stories so much!
I don't think I could add much to the slang that you haven't already heard. Yours are priceless. Especially the semen ones.
Must. Read. More. Stories.
Geez, I sound like my kids at story time. "Just one more page, pleeeeeeeze!"
I don't think I have much new to add.
Semen=spooge
Sex=the horizontal mambo and/or makin' friction
I would tell you what Hubby calls his member, but he would kill me I've never really named my girly parts. Is that sad?
I love your blog Tink.
"Parking the beef buss in tuna town" is the funniest thing I've read all day.
I'm a little late, but here are a couple I've heard (and I really dig Doses of Tink, btw)...
A woman's privates:
- spider collection
A man's privates:
- one-eyed yogurt thrower
Sex:
- bumping fuzz
Masturbating:
- slapping salami
- going to the palm prom
- tossing the pink salad
I am still relling by the tastes evoked by the semen slang... man juice is one I have heard.
Tink, did you kill off Tinkerbell?
Good luck with the Wellbutrin...and the no more cancer sticks.
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