War of the Toys.
One day the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles met up with their Homies, Buddha and Casper, for a tour of the top of Tink's entertainment stand. While gazing in wonder at the ceramic candle pyramid, they were ambushed by a gang of Marvel Mutants. Leonardo threw himself at Magneto while the two Homies were quickly swept up in the grips of Dr. Octopus' many arms. "There's only room for one mutant gang in this household!" The Thing cried out as he turned Michelangelo onto his shell. Michelangelo rocked back and forth screaming, "You killed Splinter!"
"That rat should have known better than to shop at the same grocery store as Shadow Cat," Beast yelled back. As if things weren't bad enough, two drunk Star Wars characters happened upon the fray and decided to join in the fun. Chewbacca, never a big fan of bugs, quickly squashed Spiderman as his soldier friend was attacked by Raphael and his flying daggers.
Ten minutes later a group of Lord of The Ring characters, depressed with their lack of purpose in life (now that the whole "ring" business was finished), wandered into the battle and began to fight as well. Gimli went to work with his ax, chopping at one of Dr. Octopus' arms. Buddha and Casper wailed, "Por favor! Ayuda! No mate. Tenemos doce ninos, y cinco novias en la casa." Which might translate to, "Please! Help! Don't kill. We have twelve children and five girlfriends at home." But one can never tell with ghetto boys who learned their Spanish out of a dictionary.
And so the battle continued, shell to sword and mutant power to brute strength. It continued well into night and on through the next day. "Who won?" you might wonder. Well I honestly don't know, for they are fighting still...
I don't have kids.
I have a boyfriend who collects miniature figurines.
I'm really hoping this is preparing me for something.
Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: Why is that Hobbit (Meriadoc) laying on the ground?
Hoop: He's dead.
Hoop: Did you see your boy?
Tink: Orlando Bloom?
Tink: Yeah, the elf.
Hoop: He's freaking out.
Tink: Is that why his arms and legs are bent at funny angles?
Hoop: Did you notice that he's cross-eyed.
Tink: This wouldn't have anything to do with my mentioning he's "cute" would it?
Labels: Daily Hoop Conversations