Thursday, January 26, 2006

War of the Toys.



One day the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles met up with their Homies, Buddha and Casper, for a tour of the top of Tink's entertainment stand. While gazing in wonder at the ceramic candle pyramid, they were ambushed by a gang of Marvel Mutants. Leonardo threw himself at Magneto while the two Homies were quickly swept up in the grips of Dr. Octopus' many arms. "There's only room for one mutant gang in this household!" The Thing cried out as he turned Michelangelo onto his shell. Michelangelo rocked back and forth screaming, "You killed Splinter!"

"That rat should have known better than to shop at the same grocery store as Shadow Cat," Beast yelled back. As if things weren't bad enough, two drunk Star Wars characters happened upon the fray and decided to join in the fun. Chewbacca, never a big fan of bugs, quickly squashed Spiderman as his soldier friend was attacked by Raphael and his flying daggers.

Ten minutes later a group of Lord of The Ring characters, depressed with their lack of purpose in life (now that the whole "ring" business was finished), wandered into the battle and began to fight as well. Gimli went to work with his ax, chopping at one of Dr. Octopus' arms. Buddha and Casper wailed, "Por favor! Ayuda! No mate. Tenemos doce ninos, y cinco novias en la casa." Which might translate to, "Please! Help! Don't kill. We have twelve children and five girlfriends at home." But one can never tell with ghetto boys who learned their Spanish out of a dictionary.

And so the battle continued, shell to sword and mutant power to brute strength. It continued well into night and on through the next day. "Who won?" you might wonder. Well I honestly don't know, for they are fighting still...

I don't have kids.

I have a boyfriend who collects miniature figurines.

I'm really hoping this is preparing me for something.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: Why is that Hobbit (Meriadoc) laying on the ground?
Hoop: He's dead.
Tink: Oh.
...
Hoop: Did you see your boy?
Tink: Orlando Bloom?
Hoop: Legolas.
Tink: Yeah, the elf.
Hoop: He's freaking out.
Tink: Is that why his arms and legs are bent at funny angles?
Hoop: Yup.
Tink: Gotcha.
Hoop: Did you notice that he's cross-eyed.
Tink: This wouldn't have anything to do with my mentioning he's "cute" would it?

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14 Comments:

At 26 January, 2006, Blogger V said...

Uh....MOST days Hoop seems like quite a catch. Not so sure that applies to today...lol.

Between the toys and the chopsticks, you're probably like 58% ready for a kidling already!

 
At 26 January, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

If I bring my Barbies, may I come over and play, too?

 
At 26 January, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

To quote Jeanne, who, when watching LotR for the first time turned to her husband and said, "And that's why there are half-elves."

No word as to whether there were any resulting nasty incidents involving Legolas action figures...

 
At 26 January, 2006, Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

What is it with men and their action figures? We have about 15 different varieties of Wookie at my house. And a giant Yoda Pez dispenser. And a rubber Yoda puppet. I hate Yoda. Yoda I hate.

Orlando is only hot when he's Legolas, I think. Maybe it's the hair? He always looks unwashed and greasy to me with the dark, curly hair.

 
At 26 January, 2006, Blogger mamalujo1 said...

Tell Arabella to watch out about bringing the Barbies over. If Hoop is anything like me it will go from a brawl to a ball. And NOT like crying, Tink. (Yes, I read your comment over on Brooke's site) Whatever. If it does, I want to see pictures of that too.

 
At 26 January, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

We have a few action figures... storm troopers, an R2D2 and a x-wing fighter. We also have a spiderman lunchbox, several cast pewter dragons and wizards and the peice de resistance - a one foot tall wizard incense burner. And yes, these are all displayed in various rooms of our home. It takes an expert decorator to work them into the decor, let me tell you.
Great post!

 
At 26 January, 2006, Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

I have a beat-up Millenium Falcon! Can I play too?

 
At 26 January, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

You all are more than welcome to come over to my house to play! I'm sure Hoop will be thrilled. I, on the other hand, am covertly moving a figure a day to the office area. 2 down, 25 to go.

It's the elf ears. Purrrr. Although I think Orlando Bloom is pretty hot no matter what. *Cough* Never as cute as my honey though *Cough.*

 
At 26 January, 2006, Blogger mama_tulip said...

OMG. Dave is obsessed with Homies. Like, obsessed. He's got tons of them. I make him display them in the garage because I can't stand them, but I tell him they're a choking hazard. ;)

 
At 26 January, 2006, Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

If I send my kids over will Hoop share his toys?

 
At 27 January, 2006, Blogger Alien said...

And finally I have a moment where I can thank god my husband is half gay. (That's a joke. He's not. I don't think so anyway.) But he's not into any sort of figurines, Star Wars, Star Trek, LOTR, etc. SWEET!

(However, he DOES listen to the Backstreet Boys and N'Sync, so he's not without his faults.)

And can I tell you that I literally thought you were making up the term "Homies"? As in "Homeboys". Er, uh... I guess not? LOL!

 
At 27 January, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Tink, they are called Action Figures. Which is another name for dolls. Boy dolls.

Hoop and my boys would have a high time together! We have a lot of the same figures at my house. I'll bet my Raphael could kick yours butt.

 
At 27 January, 2006, Blogger eric said...

i buy lightsabers "for my kindergartner."

and i "gave" him all my old star wars toys.

the rest of those go, of all places, on my desk at work.

happy birthday.

e+

 
At 29 January, 2006, Blogger Pixie LaRouge said...

So, would this be the appropriate time to mention dressing SUB and a friend (KHM) up as Stars Wars characters for Halloween, then stealing a lightsaber from one of them and kicking both their butts while wearing stilettos and a French maid costume? And, yeah, the costumes were my idea. They played along, though :)

 

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