Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Peeing Like A Racehorse

Thank you ME for making me think this morning ;). I'll be curious how many cups of coffee it'll take me to get to the center of this meme.

One! One cup of coffee. Muwahahaha.

Four Jobs You've Had
1. Lighter/Knife/Sports Memorabilia vendor at the flea market. I was fourteen and getting paid $20 a day under the table. The owner left me alone with over a grand in a fanny pack. I will never forget the kids of the other vendors running around spitting chew outside my booth. I'd pay them a dollar to leave me alone.
2. Cleaning condos was singly the most disgusting job I've EVER had. We would flip a coin for the bathrooms and bedrooms. There were toilets that had been used and went unflushed for weeks. There were used condoms in every crevice of the beds. Sometimes there was rotting food, laid out on the counter for display.
3. Third key at Easy Spirit/Nine West. I hate touching feet. No, strike that. I hate touching the feet of total strangers. I'm also not huge on shoes. My friends actually took bets on how long I would stay in that ill-fit job. I stayed two years. The final straw was bending over to help an elderly woman only to have her shove her foot in my face and ask, "Does this look infected to you?"
4. Food mixing center. I worked with truckers all day. I must have heard every indecent joke ever made. There was also the constant threat of being run over. I was proposed to once. A few regulars bought me meals. One guy bit me in the neck. A few fell asleep at the wheel and backed up into our building. It was crazy. I loved it and hated it all in the same breath.

Two! Two cups of coffee. Muwahahaha.

Four Movies You Could Watch Over and Over
Office Space
Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome

Four Places You've Lived
1. In a twinkie trailer with my Dad. I slept on the couch and listened to the bums knock things around outside.
2. In a round room at the house of my Mom's second husband. It was amazing! There were absolutely no corners.
3. In a box on the beach. Well, not really. But I've always threatened to.
4. In a Flop House with twelve (and sometimes more) other people.

Four T.V. Shows You Love To Watch
1. Grey's Anatomy
2. Drawn Together
3. Sex and the City
4. House

Three! Three cups of coffee. Muwahahaha.

Four Favorite Books
Clan Of The Cavebear
The Horse Goddess (An awful title for a great book)
The Gunslinger
Secret Life Of Bees

Four Places You've Been To On Vacation
1. Cedar Point: the best damn roller coaster amusement park ever.
2. Epcot: my favorite Disney theme park.
3. Phoenix, Arizona: I hiked up Camelback Mountain for a beautiful view of smog.
4. NYC, New York: total senses overload.

Four Websites You Visit Daily
1. All of the ones to the right (and some that haven't been added yet)
Peter Pan Ok, not really
The Smoking Gun Every once in a blue moon...Or days ending in "Y"
Yahoo's Strange News

Four Favorite Foods
Artichoke leaves dipped in butter
2. Shrimp Alfredo
3. Crab and Corn Chowder
4. Creme Brulee with mixed berries on top

Four! Four cups of coffee. Muwahahaha.

Four Places You'd Rather Be Right Now
1. Home in bed with a book
2. Out having a "Girl's Day" with my Mom
3. At a theme park
4. At the zoo taking pictures

Four People You're Tagging
The Gradual Gardener
The Queen Mama
mamalujo1 (Who I love to give an excuse to write)

((EDIT: And KTP who has never been tagged before))

Daily Hoop Conversation:
(On entering a gas station, Hoop picks up a novelty "The Rock" drivers license)
Hoop: We should get this for your Stepdad.
Tink: Why?
Hoop: Wouldn't he get a kick out of having a "License to Wrestle?"
Cashier: You trying to live vicariously through that photo?
(Hoop suddenly looks confused and pissed off. We begin to walk away and suddenly he turns and doubles back)
Hoop: What exactly did you mean by that?
Cashier: Don't you know what "vicariously" means?
Hoop: *Turning red* Oh. Well yes. But that's not at all what I thought you said!
Cashier: What did you think I said?
Hoop: Bi-curiously.
Tink: *Falls against the wall laughing*

No more! No more coffee cups. Muwahahaha.



At 17 January, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Ohmigod, what an excellent Hoop conversation! *choking*

Woah, your past jobs... horrific. Too vividly described! I'm glad you did that before you got more coffee in your system!

At 17 January, 2006, Anonymous Amanda B. said...

I love Office Space so much.

At 17 January, 2006, Blogger V said...

Bi-curiously! I love it! I think I may just start to use it!

At 17 January, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

Wow! Smart gas station register worker person!
I guess I would stalk away, then come back wondering if someone called me bi-curious when I was looking at novelty drivers licenses also.

At 17 January, 2006, Blogger mama_tulip said...

I love artichoke leaves dipped in butter. That was one of my mom and I's favourite treats.

LMAO at Hoop. Snorting. Laughing. And more snorting.

At 17 January, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Chris: I think I have a knack for horrible jobs. Maybe working for myself would stop the vicious cycle? Or would I then lose my reason for blame? :)

Amanda: The creators were geniuses!

V: You let me know how that works out for ya lol.

Mignon: What's even funnier is she was reading a Comp1 book, which leads me to believe she was just dying to test out her newfound knowledge on some unsuspecting (and obviously hard-of-hearing) customer.

At 17 January, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

That conversation is too, too funny.

I had no idea that selling shoes could be so traumatic. NO IDEA.

At 17 January, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

Bi-curious and vicarious could be considered to be similar concepts, so maybe he wasn't so far off ;o)

I've always been curious about a round room. There was a round hotel near where I grew up. How do you know where to put the bed?

At 17 January, 2006, Blogger mE said...

Thank you, Count Pickle! Very interesting... and Judith Tarr Rocks! (I've read most of her books, including Horse Goddess).

Interesting jobs, although have to admit that I don't envy you any of them!

Legend? Really? And oh, dear, Thunderdome was my least favorite of the three...

Love Grey's Anatomy. And House. And S&tC is decent, too. :)

I have to go and check out those blogs now...

Thanks for sacrificing those poor little coffee beans to the Cause!


At 17 January, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Oooooh, strange feet with infections - that is nasty!!

Love the trucker biting the neck thing though. Kinda kinky.

Love Legend. Tom Cruise before he was Tom Cruise. And unicorns people!

Tink, you seem like the little sis I never had. I love you.

At 18 January, 2006, Blogger Mary said...

I could NEVER work at a shoe store. Or as a dental hygentist. YUCK... (I don't like feet or teeth in case you were wondering... ;)

I love GA and House is pretty much the ONE show I can get Tommy to watch with me. He's in love with Dr House...

At 18 January, 2006, Blogger R. Robyn said...

Well you didn't tag me, but I'm gonna do it anyway! I could put all 8000 jobs I've had down though!

At 18 January, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Mama T: You are the only other person that I've met who eats them that way! Everyone else looks at me funny... Well, they do that anyway.

Arabella: I worked in the Easy Spirit section and not the Nine West end. Which means I helped out a lot of elderly people and rarely used my discount.

TB: In the middle like an island. The windows also faced a deck where we put out salt licks for the deer. It was really amazing.

ME: Count Pickle! Lol. I like that.

Debbie: I wish the trucker biting my neck HAD been kinky and not really really disturbing. It would make for a better story. BTW: You can adopt me as lil' sis anytime. *Sniff* I never had a sister.

Mary: Oooh, teeth aren't my thing either. I already have bad luck with people biting me. :)

Rocketrobyn: I need to go get some coffee before I venture over to read it.

At 22 January, 2006, Blogger beenie said...

Thanks for the comment on my blog! We have very much the same taste in television. I haven't caught Grey's Anatomy yet, but your other 3 would be on my list as well.

At 12 March, 2006, Anonymous Cards said...

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