Wednesday, January 25, 2006

I drive the short bus.

Meme: Tagged by Mamalujo1, who always makes me think outside the box. The rules: The tagged victim lists 8 different points of their perfect lover/partner, mentioning the sex of said partner. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on a post letting them know they've been tagged. If tagged before, no need to contribute.

Sex of My Perfect Partner: Male

My Perfect Partner:

1. Has the following physical attributes; Dark hair, dark brown or green eyes, great smile, taller than me, slightly husky.
2. Witty and loves to laugh.
3. Enjoys sex.
4. Has "Family" high on their value/priority list.
5. Ambitious
6. Adventurous
7. Is my best friend.
8. Likes animals (dogs especially).

There's the short. Here's the low...

1. Does not have the following physical attributes; girlie legs, a wandering eye, webbed toes, buck teeth, a tail.
2. Won't ever laugh at me unless I'm laughing first. But doesn't mind if I laugh at his expense.
3. Enjoys getting me off.
4. Has "Sports" last on their value/priority list.
5. Throws himself into housework.
6. Doesn't mind wining and dining me every once in awhile.
7. Lies when I ask, "Does this makes me look fat?"
8. Won't put deer heads up on our walls.

"Tags" to anyone who wants one. Get 'em while they're hot!

Daily Hoop Conversation 1:
Tink: You know, I thought *** at work was an idiot because of all the drugs he did in his youth. But I'm beginning to think that kind of brain damage is hereditary. His son is an idiot too.
Hoop: Oh God, I hope it's not hereditary. Otherwise my children are going to come out as monkeys.
Tink: Shut up. Despite all the dabbling you did when you were younger, I don't think you killed off anything that you actually use.
Hoop: How would I know?
Tink: Except maybe the part of your brain that tells you when to get gas or service your car.
Hoop: I think you killed off the part that keeps you from getting lost five minutes after you've left somewhere.
Hoop: Hey, look at that. My tank's on "E."
Hoop: Wow, how many gas stations are on this road?
Hoop: We didn't need to stop for anything did we?
Hoop: Why the hell is the car slowing down?
Tink: Ha ha ha... Very funny.
Tink: So, where the hell ARE we anyway?!
Hoop: Five minutes from the house.

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
(Through text messages this morning)
Hoop: Is Marlin Brando that guy you have the hots for?
Tink: NO. You're thinking Orlando Bloom. Why?
Hoop: Lex and Terry said that they have pictures of Marlin Brando with another guy.
Tink: Oh, so you were hoping it was MY guy huh?
Hoop: Who the hell is Marlin Brando then?
Tink: Think, "The Godfather."
Tink: Ok, think "The Godfather" only younger.



At 25 January, 2006, Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

I love your Hoop conversations!

At 25 January, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

You and Hoop should have your own reality show!

At 25 January, 2006, Blogger V said...

If they got married they could be Orlando Brando!!!

Sorry....I'm a dork!

At 25 January, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Oh, I like - "The Tink'n'Hoop Daily Conversation Show."

Hmm. "Tink'n'Hoop" sounds like something out of the kama sutra.

At 25 January, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

What, no tail? You mean you didn't get off on Jason Alexander's character in Shallow Hal? The image of him wagging that little stump will haunt me for all my days...

At 25 January, 2006, Blogger mama_tulip said...

LOL at your first Hoop conversation. I used to wonder the same thing before I had my own offspring.

Really, you two should have a radio show. I'd just sit and listen to you guys for hours.

At 25 January, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Our own reality/radio show? They'd have to bleep out half the things we talk about!

V: I like Dorks. I'm thinking of forming a club of them. Want to be VP?

Mignon: That's exactly the image that popped into my head when I typed that! I like dogs. I like dog tails. That's where it stops.

At 25 January, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

Oh my god. You guys are made for each other! That first conversation is a fucking riot.

At 25 January, 2006, Blogger mama_tulip said...


At 25 January, 2006, Blogger mamalujo1 said...

My wife rags me for driving with the fuel light on. Then one morning she drove past me as I walked back to a gas station with a milk jug in hand. So cold.

At 26 January, 2006, Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

The two of you must be something to see and hear.

No deer heads, that is one of my rules too...creepy shit man.

At 26 January, 2006, Blogger Brooke said...

Yeah, I agree. You two SERIOUSLY need your own sitcom or something.


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