Rollercoaster
My mind has been taken over by a double Expresso with three creams and a sugar. I cannot be held liable for any people lost on this ride, so please buckle up. It's bound to be totally random and bumpy with a chance of confusion. You have been warned.
Ice Ice Baby: When I came home from school last night, Hoop was leaning against the counter with a strained smile across his face. "Were you ever engaged?" "No. Why?" "Are you sure?" "I think I would know." "Well it's just that I was looking through your jewelry box and I found a huge diamond ring." Now, I've been known to borrow my Mom's rings on occasion. I even wear the family diamond on my right hand middle finger. But I've never been in possession of a "huge" diamond anything.
I followed him back to the bedroom. What he plucked from my jewelry box made me giggle. "That's Pink Ice babe." "Pink what? It looks like a diamond." "Well it's not. It's practically worthless if you want the truth." I could tell he didn't believe me. "I got it when I was little. It's sparkly and cheap."
I still don't think he believes me. This is what the ring (sort of) looks like:
This is what the ring costs: $4.50. Oh yeah baby. I'm bling blingin' fo sho.
Personality Test Questions: Write down the answers to the questions highlighted in blue. I've placed my answers below the questions as examples.
1. What's your favorite animal?
A. Sea Otter
2. What are the characteristics you like about this animal?
A. Hard working, cute, social, family oriented, rare.
3. What's your favorite color?
A. Deep Blue
4. What characteristics do you associate with this color?
A. Soothing, expressive, naturistic, bold.
5. You're standing on a beach facing the land. Someone walks up to you and tells you that everything for as far as you can see is yours. How do you feel?
A. Excited and skeptical.
6. You're stuck in a white room with no windows, doors, furniture, or a way out. How do you feel?
A. Trapped.
Shorty: While digging around through my email folders this morning, I found a short story I wrote almost two years ago. It's one post below this one. It's rough and there are probably a slew of grammatical errors that *CoughArabellaCough* people will probably want to point out ;). But I'm totally cool with stone throwing. It'll help me practice for when I'm a Professional Dodgeball Player. So read it if you have time.
Personality Test Answers:
2. This is how others view you.
4. This is how you view yourself.
5. This is how you feel about sex.
6. This is how you feel about death.
Daily Hoop Conversation:
(After hooking up a surround sound to the TV and setting the bass to tile rattling decibels.)
Hoop: Isn't this awesome?!
Tink: Yeah, it's pretty cool hon.
Hoop: You're never going to be able to watch regular TV again!
Tink: It is pretty intense.
Hoop: Wow... You want a cigarette?
Tink: We just had one.
Hoop: Yeah but I need another one after this! I think I just orgasmed.
Tink: *Groan*
Have a spectacular weekend all!
Copyright© 2005-2008, Pickledbeef.blogspot.com. All rights reserved
16 comments
16 Comments:
*blink blink*
What just happened? It's over? Huh?
Oh, ok. Um, why was Hoop rummaging in your jewelry box anyway, hmm?? That's hysterical, tho!
Have a lovely weekend yourself...
As it turns out, others see me as a dolphin, I see myself as the color yellow and I think sex is powerful and death relaxing.
Make sure Hoop knows what a real engagement ring looks like, you know, just in case.
Wow....that's SOME rock! Lol! All this time....hiding your torrid love affair with....with....uh...I dunno Alvin the Chipmunk?
Oh, Tink, you know I only pointed out the balling because it made for a good sexy joke!!!
Nevertheless, I look forward to your story.....(rubs hands together, puts on reading glasses, and uncaps red pen).
Men are hilarious. HILARIOUS.
I give Hoop credit, though, for knowing the difference between an engagement ring and a wedding ring. Most men don't.
LMAO at your bling! That's hysterical!
Death had better not be an empty, windowless room. I would not be a happy dead person.
If Hoop's so jealous over that ring, maybe he needs to go out and get you a new one...
Chris: You can always get back on! I have no idea what Hoop was doing in my jewelry box. But let's hope he was sizing up the empty spaces to fill ;).
TB: I think he was scared he was going to have to upsize the 2k "diamond" (Pink Ice).... Aw damn. I screwed up huh?
V: Oh Alvin. Hehe
Arabella: Are you kidding me? I LOVE people who are willing to poke back. I poke because I care... And it's fun, of course.
Mama T: Girl, I'll share the wealth. You want it? It's blinding me.
Gradual Gardener: *Snort* Ok, I don't mean to laugh at: "Death had better not be an empty, windowless room. I would not be a happy dead person." But you're right. It better not be!
My first question would have been "and why were you rummaging through my jewelry box?"
Gotta go read the short story now.
I like your dailly hoop conversations. Pretty funny.
Hmmmm...could Hoop be starting to think of jewelry himself? Or just a moment of misplaced jealousy that someone wanted to snap you up before him? Interesting...
Pretty fake bling, though. I used to have a similar flashy CZ ring for my right hand when I was single.
Other people see me as a cat (independent, smart, pretty ... HA!) and I see myself as orange-red (invigorating, warming, not a common color). I am excited if a little disbelieving about sex (evidence to the contrary crawling at my feet right now) and apparently feel that death is a good time to start painting. Thanks for the fun!
Am looking forward to reading your short story! I have one buried somewhere, from a short fiction class in college days. I do not dare put it out there, however, even though it earned me an A-. My prof must have been nuts.
I meant "pretty fake bling" as in a pretty ring that just happens to be fake, not as in "wow, that ring looks really fake." Just wanted to clarify...it sounds kind of bitchy if read the other way.
That ring would've made a great Barbie crown.
I had one of those pink ice rings in high school. It was HUGE and scary. Awesome.
It's a little odd to read blogs by people you don't know. It's a lot odd to have dreams about them. That being said, I have to tell you something, and it is a little weird. Most of my dreams have been semi-prophetic lately (like the one where I HAD to get my hair cut, and the very next day, I got my hair cut), but last night I had a dream that you were very pregnant. Like ready to pop. You were sitting in the passenger seat of my car and were in need of a hospital. I'm assuming it was because you were going to give birth, but who knows. It was like I had known you for a while but you reminded me of Veronica Mars. Weird. Hope everything turns out alright! :-)
Debbie: I question very little that he does, because then he might start questioning me. And I can't even explain why I do half the things I do.
Blue Tige: Howdy! Welcome to my madness. I think Hoop's pretty funny myself. ;)
Queen Mama: No worries. I took it the right way the first time. You'd pretty much have to label something, "THIS IS AN INSULT" for me to take it that way.
Death is a good time to start painting huh? LOL. I'm having crazy images of you fighting off the grim reaper with a paint brush.
Violet: Sweet! You can be part of my posse.
Roo: Ahahaha. That's CUTE! See, I legitimate reason to keep it now.
Amanda: Do they come in anything other than huge and scary?
Rocketrobyn: LMAO! Were you reading blogs before bed? If you end up being right, I'm hiring you on as my personal psychic. You haven't had a dream about lotto numbers by chance?
Hmmm, a man looking through your jewelry box. Sure he wasn't looking to borrow one for sizing??
(fingers crossed for luck)
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