Ohana

Weekend Recap:
1. While driving home from work on Friday, I turned a corner and found myself in the middle of a large dust cloud. I figured there was construction up ahead.
2. As I neared, I realized it wasn't dirt I was seeing. It was smoke. I turned and watched in awe as the right side of the road quickly became engulfed in flames.
3. But before I knew it, I had already driven through it. Apparently the firefighters were too busy hosing the fire to worry about redirecting traffic.
4. It was eerily beautiful. A part of me (the illogical part) thought about pulling over and taking pictures.
5. Hoop says I'm addicted and he's going to take my camera away.
6. Friday and Saturday night my Grandparents came to stay.
7. I was fine with that until my Grandmother came stomping out of the bathroom to declare there was a wet face cloth hanging from the towel rack.
8. You see, the face cloth was mine and by placing it back wet I had committed some heinous crime against old people and/or face towels that required her to nag for twenty minutes to anyone who would listen.
9. She even had people sniffing it.
10. And yes, I'm blowing the whole damn thing out of proportion considering this woman is my Grandma and I love her despite her OCD tendencies. But for fuck sake, it's a face cloth!
11. Saturday morning the men of the family went out to build a Run-In for the horses.
12. The women played as overseers.
13. And because of that it all turned out beautifully. ;)
14. Saturday night Hoop and I took the boys to see "Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny".
15. Two words, "Stoner movie."
16. Three more words, "Don't take kids." Although I'm sure the boys found the penis jokes a little funnier than I did. As we left I turned to them and said, "Whatever you do-" They finished my sentence with, "Don't tell Mom." Smart kids.
17. Sunday, the whole family went to the Flea Market.
18. I used to think Flea Markets were a great place to find really neat junk for really low prices. Not anymore.
19. Most of the wares were outrageously over marked. "I could get this brand new at Walmart for less!" I told one vendor. "Why don't you then?" She snottily replied.
20. Another vendor tried to sell me a $3 butterfly bookmark which I had bought back in ninth grade as a $1.00 barrette. "It's a hair clip," I told her. "You don't say!" She laughed. "I found it in a drawer at my Mother's house. I just assumed it was an antique bookmark."
21. Hoop haggled with a vendor for fifteen minutes over the price of some old Nintendo games. He finally left after the gentleman insisted everything was "rare" and worth twice the amount Hoop was willing to pay.
22. The crazy thing about this Flea Market is that it subs as a GED station too. You can shop and get your high school diploma at the same time!
23. Before leaving, Hoop and I made a pit stop at the Flea Market reptile shop. The couple inside couldn't have been any nicer. They gushed about their passion for turtles and iguanas, both of which they had running loose around the store.
24. They even had a trust fund set up in their will for their ten and fifteen year old tortoises at home.
25. By the time we left, Hoop and I were convinced we'd buy a tortoise for the next house.
26. Of course I'll have to keep Hoop from riding it.
27. No luck on the house hunt. Keep your fingers crossed! The closing is scheduled for tomorrow.


Contest courtesy of Odd Mix:

Thanks...

...to those who came before me. I'll try harder to appreciate my cushy life.

Blessing

Once everything is built on my parents' ranch, my Grandfather (a retired minister) is going to bless it.

(Some Random Weekend Pictures)

Peeling potatoes is a family ordeal.


Shrinking Brother


What's For Dinner?


Flea Market GED


Wide Load


Things That Make You Go "WTF?":
1. Does this chicken leg smell like dog to you?
2. At least you'll be wealthy homeless people.
3. Welcome to the FUTURISTIC antique store! We only sell things that will be antiques in 20 years.

Not Far From The Tree:
Woman On TV: "We're going in for plastic surgery to fix his saggy scrotum and my loose labia."
Mom: Oh my God.
Big Bit: What are they getting fixed?!
Papa Bear: His SCROTUM.
Mom: *Groan*
Hoop: I've never heard of someone getting that done. Do you think it hangs down to his knees?
Big Bit: What are we talking about?
Papa Bear: His BALLS, son.
Big Bit: Ewwww.
Mom: *Buries head in hands*
Hoop: Do you think they have help groups for that?
Papa Bear: A man should be proud of his package!
Big Bit: How does he walk?
...
Mom: I'm so glad they didn't hear what she's getting done!
Tink: Me too.