Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Please Excuse Me

...while I a spokesperson that looks nothing like me screams.

(You might want to cover your ears for a minute)

Countdown Until Hoop And I Are Homeless: 0 Days + 7

The closing has been delayed a week. Which means Hoop and I stressed ourselves out last weekend for NOTHING. The buyers were supposed to do their final walkthrough last night at six. So I waited by my phone for three hours to hear something back about it. Of course our Realtor never called. So I got up at five o'clock this morning, as planned, to go into work early so I could leave early.

Let's add that up for you.

-2 hours of sleep from normal
+2 hours of driving to and from work
+2 hours of driving to closing
+1 hour of closing time
-3 hours away from work
-0 hours of sick/vacation time left
= A miserable girl named Tink.

What, did you think I'd actually break even because the numbers did? Pfft.

My Realtor actually had the balls tits to schedule the closing in HER town instead of the one where the buyers, the seller (me), and the other Realtor live. I can't decide whether this woman is evil or a fucking genius. Two hours before the closing was scheduled to happen my Realtor finally decided to call and inform me that it's been delayed. Fortunately it had nothing to do with the walkthrough. The buyers are having some issues getting insurance. So we wait...

...and I mentally plot ways I'd like hurt our Realtor.

My favorite one involves superglue and a rabid dog.

Insult: I'm pictureless today. I thought I'd be sneaky and bring my photo program to work and load it on my office computer. But the IT has foreseen my plan and blocked all access but his to load new software. "FOILED AGAIN!" They're really beautiful too. You're going to have to take my word for it at the moment. I'm going to load them at my parents' tonight. Hopefully some of you will still be around to enjoy them. The rest of you have either fled from my insanity or gone on holiday. Lucky bastards... I'd flee my insanity too if I could!

Injury: My parents have been kind enough to house Hoop and I (plus our dogs) until we find another house. There aren't words to describe the gratitude I feel. The only problem is, I can't get comfortable. I come "home" from work and hop around doing laundry or dishes and seeing if anyone needs assistance with anything. Then Hoop and I go to bed and I lay there for an hour trying to feel something other than anxious. When I do fall asleep it's only to wake up at 2. Then I struggle to get back to sleep, only to wake up a few hours later so I can get ready for the hour drive to work. I feel like a balloon without a string. Nothing is tethering me down. I just keep floating up and bumping into the fan.

Thank you all for your support and encouragement. I know I haven't been the best or most diligent Blogger lately. I swear I'll make it up to you when this is over. Gold sporks for everyone!

Or maybe some really juicy personal posts.


At 21 November, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

Hang in there kiddo. Call me if you need to scream. Seriously, I'm there for you! Glad to hear you have a place to crash for a while. Family is a good thing. And the puppys have SO many friends to play with right now.

At 21 November, 2006, Anonymous susan said...

UGH! You know that evil realtor was just doing her evil cackling laugh Bwaaahahahahahaahaaaa

I'm glad to hear you have a temporary home. Keep your chin up girl!

(can't wait for the juicy posts!)

At 21 November, 2006, Anonymous mary said...

try two. damn beta....it won't let me sign in. UGH.

um I forget what I said....

must be awkward living with your parents, it's very cool they let you stay with them thought!

At 21 November, 2006, Blogger Mike Y said...

It'll be okay. Transitions, such as moving can stress anyone out. Your realtor hasn't been a huge help to you, either.

Don't worry about us. We'll hang with ya.

At 21 November, 2006, Anonymous OddMix said...

just a video of the realtor and the rabid dog would be enough for me. Damn realtors - almost as bad as lawyers, accountants, and insurance agents.

At 21 November, 2006, Blogger Gracey said...

What a drag!! If it makes you feel any better, I just came down with a nasty cold and it's only two days before we have to drive down to FL. Being in a car for a long drive is already miserable but top it off with a cold....yuck!!

At 21 November, 2006, Blogger mrspao said...

Argh!!!!!!!!!! How frustrating! Hope that your week goes quickly and it is all over asap.

At 21 November, 2006, Anonymous wordgirl said...

This is such a stressful time and you two are handling it with more grace than can be expected. In the meantime, I'm thinking about digging a hole and burying your realtor up to her shoulders. Cover her with honey and wait for the red ants to come. If you need any extra red ants...Texas has plenty and I'd be more than happy to give you some.

At 21 November, 2006, Blogger Peggy said...

Tink darling,

I really feel for you. I just want to give you a big hug and feed you cinnamon rolls.

I find something odd. As unplanned as it is that you and Hoop move into your mother's place for a bit (and it is very nice that she's let you do that) if it were MY child, I'd be flipping back into mummy mode. I'd be the one doing the cooking, making sure you've got stuff you need, etc. . . Are you preventing her from doing this?

Are you desperately trying not to fall back into old routines and play old childhood tapes?

oh, and that realtor - she does sound like an evil genius. I hope she only ever uses her dark arts on others and not you.

At 21 November, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Newt: >>And the puppys have SO many friends to play with right now.<< Right? I think they feel like they're on holiday. Which is great, because the last thing I want to do is stress them out too.

Susan: I'm trying to convince Hoop to guest post. I bet that would make up for my unbloggerness hm? ;)

Mary: Beta... Grrr. Whatever happened to Alpha? Surely the version I'm on isn't it.

Mike Y: >>Don't worry about us. We'll hang with ya.<< *Huge e-hug* Thank you!

Oddmix: *Scratches out "insurance agents"* He didn't mean it Hoop! If I can get my hands on a video camera... and figure out where to find that rapid dog, I'll let you know.

Gracey: How is that supposed to make me feel BETTER?! Geesh. I hope you get well quickly girl. What part of FL are you traveling to?

MrsPao: I'm not one to wish away my life, but I hope it goes by quickly too!

Wordgirl: Honey and red ants! Now there's a plot I didn't think of. Could you send a box over quick? :)

Peggy: Mmmm Cinnamon rolls. >>Are you preventing her from doing this<< *Nods timidly* I don't think it's because I'm trying not to be "parented" though. I think it's because I feel so damn guilty for intruding. That and I got so used to stressing and rushing around I don't know how to relax. I'm a mess aren't I?

At 21 November, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

My advice to you is to start drinking heavily. Well, it seems like a good idea.

And the more you drink the more creative ways you will think of to torture that moron realtor.

At 21 November, 2006, Anonymous Turtle said...

Try to enjoy the time with your family rather than dread it. Moments together should be treasured. I understand, tho. Moving back in with my dad temporarily drove me insane...but that was after 2 years. Just remember...this too shall pass.

Happy Turkey day! - Turtle & Foo

At 21 November, 2006, Blogger gawilli said...

Bad, bad realtor. I generally let people like that know that I have a really big mouth and a lot of friends and acquaintances that will all know never to use their services.

Brighter days are on the horizon!

At 21 November, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

Damn! Contrary to what you might think, I was not hoping for this crap-turn of events for you guys. I'm looking forward to seeing you guys in a new ranch with chickens cutlets in the outbuildings and a waterfall in the living room made of chocolate and Fluff.

I love yeast infection/bread jokes. I love more hearing my name was thrown down in any context except ordering dinner.

At 21 November, 2006, Blogger EE said...

How do you spell stress?! My goodness Tink....

Your realtor sounds like a real peach (*!#$*).

Hang in there chickie.

At 21 November, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Do you need me to come down there and run over your realtor for you? You'll have to lend me a car to do so - mine's a speck and would only incur her wrath...

At 21 November, 2006, Anonymous Chelle P. said...

Realtor = evil fucking genius? She's a bad girl. I hope you tell 2 friends and they tell 2 friends about what nightmare service you've gotten from this dame.

Hang in there and, because I won't be back to comment until later this week, Happy Thanksgiving, Tink! Be thankful for kind parents, great dogs, awesome Hoop and more. Soon, my dear, you'll find a wonderful home of your own again.

At 22 November, 2006, Blogger Foo said...

Sorry to hear things are continuing as normal. It won't make you feel any better, but I'm pretty sure that's just the kind of crap that everyone goes through when buying or selling a house. The realtor, the inspector, the load officer... anyone with any control is going to do pretty much whatever is convenient for him-/herself, and as long as they serve a function you can't perform on your own, all you can do is take it.

As it happens, I was just ranting about this to Turtle last evening. I believe my #1 pet peeve is people who don't respect the value of my time. I have to call my doctor's office twice, on average, before getting a return call with the answer to a simple "should I schedule this additional test, or not?" question. The guy who owns the domains for the web site I administer is quite agreeable about transferring them over to the organisation's board, but actually getting him to do it has dragged on for nearly a month because he won't return phone calls or e-mails.

The list goes on and extends to your realtor. Her letting you sit around like that, wasting your time when you could have gone on and done something else is what I'm talking about.

Grr. Argh.

At 22 November, 2006, Blogger Amy said...

Ugh, I would scream, too. You get all ready for something and then, oh, sorry, wait?!?! Nope, I'd have to scream. And the superglue sounds like an awesome idea no matter what you pair it up with.

Hope you have a good Thanksgiving no matter where you are. It's okay not to be tethered sometimes, enjoy the view.

At 22 November, 2006, Blogger sassybead said...

In retail, we lived by the knowledge that happy customers tell two or three friends, but unhappy customers tell about nineteen or twenty on average. So BAD word-of-mouth, while not the most graphic, is certainly an effective form of revenge! As for satisfying - how 'bout we fill the next house she has an open house in with angry bees? Yeah - that'll show her!

I hope you and Hoop have a warm, dry, and family-filled Thanksgiving. Just think about all the memories you guys are making for your future! Eat lots of turkey and mashed potatoes, and we'll all cross our fingers you're not homeless for very long.

At 22 November, 2006, Blogger sassybead said...

I wished you a Happy Thanksgiving on yesterday's post, but it does bear repeating.

Your post makes me cry. I've never known a more bittersweet time than when I've had to move out of a house that's full of memories. I know you'll always treasure them, and that you'll make more in your next home. But for now, here's a hanky and a big hug from me while you say good-bye to your old friend...

PS - I think Blogger's speaking Yiddish. My Word Verification was sheqctim!

At 26 November, 2006, Blogger Sunshine said...

I used to work in the real estate sales department at a large warranty company and all I did all day long was deal with real estate agents.
Long story short - my batting average was that I felt 90% of them were going directly to the burning fires of hell. And that same 90% didn't seem to care two shakes for their seller/buyer as long as they got their big fat commission.
20% of that group also tried to get me to do things regarding the home warranty that were downright illegal.
This is why we bought my in laws house. No real estate agent necessary.
Luckily though, if we do ever need one we have a couple good friends that are of the non-evil variety agent.
And, I still feel bad for you, moving sucks ass.


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