Friday, November 17, 2006

This Is Where I Lose My Shit

A week ago I called St. Vincent's House (Ok, so that site's a little scary) to request they pick up a furniture donation I had for them. They gave me a date of today and assured me they'd call this morning with an ETA. Before contacting them I had called The Betty Griffin House, where I was rudely informed that I would have to steam clean my couches before they would pick them up. Awfully prudish about FREE furniture aren't they? Then this morning rolled around. I waited by my cell, but no one from St. Vincent's called. By 11 o'clock I was beginning to worry.

Tink: Hi. I was told someone would call me this morning to tell me what time to expect my pick up? But no one has yet, and it's almost afternoon.
Man On Phone: What's your name?
Tink: Tink Erbell.
Man On Phone: Someone should have called you by 8:30 Ms. Erbell.
Tink: Well they didn't.
Man On Phone: I wouldn't worry about it. If the driver hasn't arrived yet I'm sure he'll be there shortly.
Tink: Is he going to call before he arrives?
Man On Phone: No. He'll just show up.
Tink: See, that's my problem. I'm at work right now. I need someone to give me a time to be there so I can take my lunch and head home.
Man On Phone: Oh.
Tink: Does the driver have a cell phone?
Man On Phone: I don't think so.
Tink: There's no way you can give me an estimated time?
Man On Phone: No, I'm sorry. You can drop them off if you'd like!
Tink: *Through gritted teeth* If I had the means to drop them off I wouldn't have called you guys to pick them up. Listen, it's OK. I'll just take them to the dump or something. Thank you for your time.
Man On Phone: OK. Have a good day.

(Ten minutes later my cell phone rings)

Tink: Hello?
Man On Phone: Ms. Erbell, this is So-N-So from St. Vincent's. I'm calling to let you know our driver is at your house and he says that no one's home.
Tink: Mr. So-N-So do you remember me? We just talked about ten minutes ago. The reason why no one is home right now is because no one called me this morning to let me know what time I should be there.
Man On Phone: Oh yeah! You are the same girl huh? *Laughs*
Tink: That's me.
Man On Phone: Well I'm just calling to let you know that he's going to come back at noon.
Tink: Excellent. By the way, I thought you said the guy didn't have a cell phone.
Man On Phone: He doesn't have a WORK cell phone. He has a personal one.
Tink: How convenient.

When the driver came back, somewhere around 12:30, I tried to explain how the situation had gone so terribly awry and to apologize. Unfortunately, neither he nor his helper spoke very good English. So I just pointed at the couches and got out of the way. And except for a little mishap where they "accidentally" tried to take my $300 bookcase, things went smoothly.

Last Night: We had good intentions of moving everything last night. Our expectations were to finish by eleven. We were halfway done by midnight. So with a heavy heart I agreed to stop for the night and rent the trailer again on Saturday. It's a good thing too. I would have totally forgotten the washer and dryer. How does one overlook large furniture like that in an almost bare house? I think I'm losing my shit guys. The worst part of the evening was not breaking down all our furniture or moving it with just the two of us, although that DID suck. It was moving the bed in our bedroom and seeing the carpet underneath. It's black (with dirt) and polka dotted (with various pen inks). Apparently our dog has been having a party under there every night when we go to sleep. The carpet cleaners are coming out tomorrow. I literally had to beg them to come since they're all booked for the holidays. I'm not ashamed to admit I was prepared to cry too.

Courtesy of
Odd Mix:

The words for this weekend are...


I'd like to believe these words were specifically picked out for me. ;)

Daily Hoop Conversation:
(While taking a break from moving)
Hoop: I'm pissing outside OK?
Tink: Suit yourself.
Tink: You have quite some aim there.
Hoop: You should have seen me when I was a kid. I could pee up to 15 feet!
Tink: I take it you have a story?
Hoop: I was about 10, maybe 11. I was using a public urinal when I started wondering how far back I could go and still make it in. Before I knew it I was up against the other wall! I had to be pissing 10-15 feet.
Tink: No way.
Hoop: Ask Tech. He walked in on me while I was doing it.
Tink: Ok, so let's see it. How far can you go now?
Hoop: Now? Probably not very far. Back then all my parts were new.

Tonight Hoop and I are driving out to Gainesville to meet the lovely and talented
Tammie, and her husband Jeff! I am so excited. There's a tiny part of me that's nervous too. It's that fear of disappointing... or being found really really annoying.

Countdown Until Hoop And I Are Homeless: 4 Days


At 17 November, 2006, Blogger Peggy said...

Don't forget to breathe!

My family (all boys) go outside from time to time. We have lots of trees. I just want to know, why can't they just pee they always have to pee AGAINST something.

At 17 November, 2006, Blogger Mike Y said...

That's too bad about the charity place. I've noticed folks are getting rather picky these days. Then again, they sometimes get some really nasty stuff.

And I've never had the infatuation with seeing how far I could pee. I have shot targets, though ;)

At 17 November, 2006, Blogger mrspao said...

Good luck with your move. We're moving too at some point (hopefully) soon so I'm thinking of you :)

At 17 November, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

Moving is such a pain in the ass. Ever notice how none of your friends are around when it's time to move? But they always turn up for the party after you've moved into the new place, don't they?

One of the reasons I've never owned a truck. When you own a truck everybody wants you to help them move. LOL

At 17 November, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Peggy: *Sucks air* Thanks for the reminder! Maybe they lose focus if they don't have a target? It would be awful if they forgot they were peeing mid-stream. :)

Mike Y: These were fairly nice couches too. I hated to have to just pitch them. I know I've relied on places like that when I was strapped for cash and without furniture.

MrsPao: Good luck to you too! Don't forget, check the Cardboard Only bins behind stores for free boxes. Every saved penny counts when it comes to moving.

Jay: I know, right? They completely disappear. It's even worse when they say they'll help and then never show up, or "accidentally" forget their phone at home and miss your call. So Hoop and I have stopped looking for help. We know we can get it done ourselves.

At 17 November, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

LOL, someday this will all be just a bad dream.......
Glad you are liking the book. It's a big'n but he writes so darn well.
And up until Caleb we never worried about pens but apparently he thinks they are bones. I'm just waiting for the first ink stain on furniture.

At 17 November, 2006, Blogger Sunshine said...

Nothing in the known universe sucks ass more than moving. I HATE it. Hate isn't even a strong enough word. I feel for you, seriously.
Hang in there.

At 17 November, 2006, Blogger sassybead said...

Ugh - moving - you have my sympathies, girl! And if I was in Florida, I would come help you...cuz having done a LOT of moving, I know how much it sucks, and you sure find out who your friends really are when it comes time to move!

As for Hoop's "talent." That's gotta explain why men's bathrooms are always so grotty. They all think they can get that far, and they all think they have excellent aim!

At 17 November, 2006, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

Jay, I saw a bummer sticker once that read, "Yes, I have a truck! No, I will NOT help you move!" Haha!

Tink, I hope things start going smoothly for you. The part of your dog having "a party" under your bed is pretty funny.

Have fun meeting Tammie!

At 17 November, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Newt: It's OK. As much as I feel like I'm losing my marbles, even I can see the humor in it. I love the book! I'm looking forward to being able to dive (fully) into it once this move is over. And as far as the pups and beds go, let me make a suggestion. Put something under there to keep them out. I would send you a picture to illustrate, but I'm much too disgusted right now.

Sunshine: Welcome! And thank you.

Sassybead: Bless your heart. >>And you sure find out who your friends really are when it comes time to move!<< And I've realized we have none. :(

Save for you all.

Chelle Y: If I ever get a truck I am hunting that sticker down!

At 17 November, 2006, Anonymous Turtle said...

Ah...the joys of moving. Don't know what Foo & I would have done if Turtle Mom (aka The Tasmanian Devil of Moving) hadn't come down to help us 2 years ago. That week I had a job interview, a part-time gig and had only done a smidge of packing the entire time before. She packed practically the whole place! Of course, Foo drug his feet a bit, saying "There isn't that much!" Right. Surprising how much crap you have, isn't it? what is it about guys and peeing outside? Foo said he has to christen our backyard. I'm like WTF? And he has to do it nekkid!!! Fortunately, the fence is already falling over a bit (thanks to Texas winds and crappy builders), so it might not happen. Weird. Just weird. Use the toilet, dude.

Good luck, Tink. It'll all work out in the end. Hang tough, gf. We're rootin' for ya!

At 17 November, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

You could never be annoying MRS. ERBELL. THAT had me LMAO!!!

Have fun tonight and I expect a full report on the wonderful Ms. Tammie and her bump!

At 17 November, 2006, Anonymous Lily said...

Aw you're meeting Preggers TB? Thats pretty cool. I'm sure she is LOVING the warmth right now compared to before!

Gainesville is pretty nice. College-ish.

Good luck with moving. What a nightmare.

With all the stress you'll start having peeing contests. You'll lose, but the memories! Ok scratch that.

At 17 November, 2006, Blogger graymama said...

Wish we could help! In the future just freecycle your stuff. It is MUCH easier!!!

Thinking of you and hoping there will not be any more dog puke or carpet artwork in your future :-)

At 17 November, 2006, Blogger Gracey said...

You poor thing....Moving does totally stink. I'm doing it again in 5 months but at least we have the government (military) paying for it. Thank you taxpayers! I do greatly appreciate it!

At 18 November, 2006, Blogger gawilli said...

It is awfully hard to give stuff away these days. Willi and I loaded a chest on chest and deacon's bench in the back of his pickemup truck and drove them over to the Salvation Army. When we got there they opened the garage door and watched as we unloaded them and carried them in. The next time we just carried the unwanted dresser, night stand and bedframe to the curb. By the next morning someone had driven by and picked them all up.

Thinking good thoughts for you with your move. Willi and I always end up doing these things solo/duet also.

At 18 November, 2006, Blogger Lucia said...

Good luck with the move.

The Hoop thing reminded me that last year, when friends came over, their 3 year old walked straight through our house and out to the deck, so he could pee off of it.

At 18 November, 2006, Blogger EE said...

[deep breaths]

(((Tink))) Hang in there chickie....

At 18 November, 2006, Blogger EE said...

[deep breaths]

(((Tink))) Hang in there chickie....

At 19 November, 2006, Anonymous Ch3ll3 said...

OOOOO! Freecycle! *big eyes* I likey! are a zen pool of tranquility. *snort!* just need a stiff drink.

At 20 November, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Oh, I hope you had a great weekend - you totally deserve it after the hell of last week. Yikes.

I hate that moving furniture and discovering that a pet has been up to subterfuge. Hmph.

At 20 November, 2006, Anonymous Lily said...

I wish there were more Freecycle places near me, I have a bunch of stuff I dont want.

Hope you had fun with the gators.

At 20 November, 2006, Blogger Jess Riley said...

Wow, moving is such a pain in the arse. Kinda makes me want to stay where I am for a long time, even if it does suck.

Have fun with Tammie!! How cool.


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