Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Giving Thanks

My brain is a house that's haunted by memories.

No matter how much I'd like to think I'm moving forward, there's always a part of me that's looking back. It's like unplanned time travel. I smell bleach and suddenly I'm fourteen, cleaning out ice cream bins at the flea market. I get an email from an old friend and all I can think about is how I slapped her on the school bus the week before I moved away. Or the way bagpipes remind me of weddings and medicine balls like fifth grade gym class. These memories slip in and out like friendly/unfriendly ghosts. Yesterday at lunch I drove to my house to shut off the breakers. "I'm over this," I thought, killing the switch. But no matter how over it I am...


It's not quite over me.

The concrete slab in the side yard? That's where Hoop and I huddled under blankets to smoke. It's where we fought, and kissed, and made plans for the future. The lone swamp Oak outside? I tied peanut butter coated pine cones to its branches one year for Beltane. I passed up a perfectly good offer on the house simply because the buyers wanted to cut it down and build a garage. "Surely there's something here that doesn't hold some sort of memory." The guest bedroom? Home to four different roommates. One whose Mother was murdered three months after she moved in. Another who disappeared one day in pursuit of a missing life. The third used tape on the door to see if I'd broken in while she was away. The fourth was her girlfriend, a girl who put cigarettes out on my coffee table and talked in third person.

****
Somewhere beneath this fence post is a slab of cement with my Dad's and my initials on it. We built this fence three years ago with our own hands. It was the last time I saw him sober.


****
The year I moved in, my house was struck by lightning three times in four months. The first two times blew out my telephone line and fried my computer. The third time cracked this once great Pine tree in two. It oozed sap and sawdust for days. For two years it remained, not alive and not quite dead. I fondly nicknamed it "The Lightning Tree." I had it cut down the year the hurricanes rolled through. They asked if I wanted the stump removed. As you see I couldn't let them do it.


So much history! But don't misinterpret this as regret. I'm not sorry to leave. My life has moved beyond the memories that were created in this house. I'm looking forward to the new memories, the ones that always involve Hoop :D. And the couple that's moving in? I hear they're lovely. This will be their first home together. I can't think of a better place to start at. It's just... Now that it's time to go, I'm not sure how to say "Good-Bye."

So instead I'll say "Thank you."


Contest courtesy of
Odd Mix:
(Better late than never)

Overcome


Persevere


(Some Random Weekend Pictures)

Hot Air, Cool Night


Ferris Wheel


Attraction To Lights


In Motion


"Bear Affair"

The one in the back looks like he's pooping.

Blur


This weekend's words are Blessing and Thanks.

Around The Water Cooler:
Tink: *Runs into the warehouse*
Supervisor 1: What's wrong?
Tink: I keep hearing voices.
Supervisor 1: In your head?
Tink: No, through the ducts.
Supervisor 2: You have ducks in your office?
Supervisor 1: And they're talking to her.
Supervisor 2: I think we should give her a drug screening.
Tink: The AC ducts you dorks. I hear voices through them and now I'm trying to find out where they're coming from.
Supervisor 1: That's because there's no insulation in the walls.
Supervisor 2: We can hear you in the bathroom.
Tink: You can hear me peeing?!
Supervisor 2: Ew, no. We can hear you talking in our bathroom.
Tink: That's really no better.
Supervisor 1: Yeah, do you mind talking quieter? It makes it hard to concentrate.

Have a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving guys!

PB will be closed tomorrow for the holiday and may or may not return on Friday,
depending on how fat I am and if I can reach the keyboard over my belly.

20 Comments:

At 22 November, 2006, Blogger mamalujo1 said...

That picture with the house in the rear view-it's so sad.

 
At 22 November, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

I love all your pictures. I agree with mamalujo1 that the rear view mirror one is sad.

But, now you will get to make new memories at your new place.

Have a great Thanksgiving!

 
At 22 November, 2006, Anonymous mary said...

you did have awesome pics!

moving can be bittersweet. You are moving on with hoop, but you are leaving alot of good times behind. But that's why we have memories, right? :)

hehehe around the watercooler. Too bad my convo's at work all suck compared to yours...

 
At 22 November, 2006, Blogger Gracey said...

Happy Thanksgiving, Tink!! We are going to Ocala, Florida and then the day after Thanksgiving I'm driving to Merritt Island to visit my old stomping ground (lived there for 3 years before marrying Jer)....most of my friends and some family is there. Wouldn't that be cool if I'm going your fishing village?? :) Your blog kinda made me sad; I felt like that about our house we just moved from.

 
At 22 November, 2006, Blogger mrspao said...

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Your pixie is naughty today : tiitt :)

 
At 22 November, 2006, Blogger Mike Y said...

Tink, I hope you and Hoop have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!! And I hope your home closing goes without any further hiccups too. You're awesome. And you have some nice things to be thankful for-- Hoop, the house selling, Hoop's job and I'm sure there are more. Those are the ones that come to my mind, not that I pay any type of attention or anything like that ;)

The bathroom thing would wig me out. I have a thing about using public restrooms. If I knew that on the rare occasion I did use one that people could hear me, I'd have issues.

 
At 22 November, 2006, Anonymous wordgirl said...

That's sort of how I felt about the house we left when we moved into this one. All our kids had been born while we lived in it. It was the house we bought together right before our wedding. And as happy as I was to move out...the moments leading up to the part where we locked the door for the last time made me bawl like a baby. I know just how you feel.

 
At 22 November, 2006, Blogger Peevish said...

That was a really sweet post - I hope you and Hoop have a great Thanksgiving!

 
At 22 November, 2006, Blogger sassybead said...

I just put this comment on the wrong date, so now I'm putting it in the right one! I think I need to go home...anyway...

I wished you a Happy Thanksgiving on yesterday's post, but it does bear repeating.

Your post makes me cry. I've never known a more bittersweet time than when I've had to move out of a house that's full of memories. I know you'll always treasure them, and that you'll make more in your next home. But for now, here's a hanky and a big hug from me while you say good-bye to your old friend...

PS - I think Blogger's speaking Yiddish. My Word Verification was sheqctim!

 
At 22 November, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

What a wonderful homage to your house - and I love that you're looking forward to a house that holds the same memories for both you and Hoop.

The pictures are brilliant!

And that bear?! Um.... yeah. Scary stuff. Have a great Thanksgiving!

 
At 22 November, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

Awww Tink, that was marvelous. What a great post. And I have to agree, the picture you took with the house in the mirror, fabulous. Here's to creating new memories with Hoop and here's to all the great memories you two already share.

Happy Thanksgiving. May it be a fat(full) and happy one for you.

 
At 22 November, 2006, Blogger mjd said...

Here is to new memories at your new home, Happy Thanksgiving.

 
At 23 November, 2006, Blogger EE said...

I can just imagine the range of emotions you are going through right now. *hugs*

ADORE the pics, they were awesome.

Happy Thanksgiving Tink!

 
At 23 November, 2006, Blogger Peggy said...

That was a nice goodbye to your old house. I love the house in the rear view mirror. Quite poignant.

Just look forward now. When you get your new house you'll build new memories. The dog will barf on the floor, you and Hoop will do something that involves pouring concrete in the back garden and pretty soon you will have a pile of new memories. When this happens, the sting of leaving the old house will have lessened.

Someday, the kids will ask to drive past Mom and Dad's first house again.

 
At 23 November, 2006, Blogger Lily said...

Aw, that's sad. Its hard to move on and leave things behind. I keep saying that I cant wait to go someplace else but I know that when that time comes it will be very hard. Always is, even when good things are on the horizon. Take care, and Happy Thanksgiving!

I will check in on ya next week. Hope you had fun with TB!

 
At 23 November, 2006, Blogger Cheryl said...

Tink,

I've moved many times in my life, and that was a perfect rendition of moving. I couldn't have captured it in words any better. I must admit, each time, I leave feeling a little sad, perhaps because the innocence I had when I initially moved in is no longer there. I've become a tad wiser (experienced) on one aspect of life or another -- some not always good. (i.e. the crazy roommates - oh can I identify with that one! I'm still haunted by that.) You're right. Give thanks for those memories. Be grateful for the lessons you learned. And anticipate the future...with Hoop.

Amen.

Many blessings to you both and you begin the next leg of your journey. It'll be a wild ride, I'm sure!

hugs, Turtle & Foo
Happy Thanksgiving!!!

 
At 23 November, 2006, Blogger Kell said...

That was a wonderful post, Tink. I hope you find a new place soon so that you and Hoop can start new memories.

Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!

 
At 24 November, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

Wow, you did it! You have a wonderful attitude about moving on.

I hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving. :)

 
At 24 November, 2006, Anonymous Susan said...

awwww...how sweet and melancholy. No matter how much you want to, sometimes it can be hard to let go. But on to new adventures! How exciting!

 
At 26 November, 2006, Blogger graymama said...

You are just so sweet! It can be so hard to say goodbye, but hello can be even better :-)

 

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