Thursday, December 07, 2006

Twiddling Thumbs

So.

Now that this whole ordeal is over with, what the hell do I blog about?

Unbreakable: I blew up my own email box this morning. Apparently storing three years worth of emails on sub-folders is not a good idea. Who knew? Is there a market for Professional Stress Testers? I think I'd be good at that. As the training coordinator for my current company I usually tell all new employees, "You can't hurt this system. Believe me, I've tried." They laugh and feel better. But I don't think they really believe me. Two years ago our sales team used these archaic handheld computers that looked like the original brick-shaped Gameboys. They broke down about as much as Gameboys too. And who do you think got assigned to repair them? Me, the girl who breaks things just by thinking about them. I would fiddle with one of those handhelds for hours trying to get it to work. One day I realized... "If I screw with this long enough it's going to stop working altogether. Then I can send it back to the company for repairs!" They don't ask me to fix anything anymore.

5 Minutes Of Random Thoughts:
Start. Having sex in your parents' house is only kinky the first time you do it. There's something sensual about not being able to make any noise. You become totally aware of your partner's body... The way he breathes through his nose in bursts. The smell of his skin as you bury your face into his neck. The soft- "Oh my God we're having sex on my little brother's bed!" The realization that you're "doing it" where a 14 year old usually sleeps. If there's a Hell I'm sure there's a special place in it for awful big sisters. Do you think it would be obvious if Hoop and I buy him new sheets when we move out? Is this really any worse than my Mom donating the bed my littlest brother was conceived on to me and then telling me about it later? I would have been perfectly fine with her not telling me about it EVER. My roommates always said it was the most comfy bed they'd ever felt. I should have wondered more how they knew that. Ew. There's a reason why the saying doesn't go, "If (these walls) this bed could talk..." Same with toilets, underwear and tissues. I live with four men now. I hear enough about shit, balls, and boogers thankyouverymuch. But shoes? Shoes could be nice. End.

Golden Sporks: I've decided to have a blogger appreciation day of sorts. You all have been so supportive and understanding over the last few days weeks months. I would like a chance to show just how appreciative I am. So comment if you haven't commented in the last four days. Shit, comment regardless. I love hearing what you have to say! Anyone who's commented this week will get a- Wait a second. I'm not telling you that. You'll have to check back here Friday. And that's not just some marketing ploy. I use subliminal messaging for that.

36 Comments:

At 07 December, 2006, Blogger Gracey said...

Sex in your parent's house...LOL! I loved that random thought except in your brother's room is even worse. Jeremy always says that he will never give up our bed to a couple who may be visiting us because he just knows they are going to have sex in it for the heck of it. And then each time they come back to visit, they will do a secret, "let's do it again" chuckle, but we will know what they are thinking and will have to burn the bed after they leave.

 
At 07 December, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

That was pretty funny. Do you ever take the time to think about all people who have had sex in the bed your sleeping in when you stay at a hotel? It will keep you awake.

Blogger appreciation day? I can't wait. That's gonna be fun.

 
At 07 December, 2006, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

Eewww, Jay, that is a gross thought! Haha!

Tink, you still manage to make me smile, despite "not having anything to blog about now." :)

 
At 07 December, 2006, Blogger mamalujo1 said...

Do I get anything extra for noticing the acrostic for pickled beef in the post?

 
At 07 December, 2006, Blogger G said...

lol when we were down visiting my folks for thanksgiving we "did it" ...our room is right next to my parents so i was intent on making sure we didn't make any noise at all.

And congrats on finally selling your house...hopefully you'll find your dream home soon :)

 
At 07 December, 2006, Anonymous mamatulip said...

You mean if I leave a comment, on Friday I'll get pickled beef?

Sweet!

 
At 07 December, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Gracey: My Mom stopped giving her bed up to guests too... For the same reason I suspect. When it comes down to it, your bed should be YOUR bed.

Jay: I bring my own sheets, pillows, and comforter with me to hotels. "Really?" No, not really. But I've thought about it. Bleh.

Chelle Y: Well that's good to know! Unless you're easily entertained. ;)

Mamalujo1: Shhhh. That was my subliminal marketing ploy.

G: Did you feel like a teenager? I always do. Like, "What is Mom going to do if she catches me?"

 
At 07 December, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Mama T: Noooo. That would be silly. Instead you'll get a- Oh ho ho. You almost had me there.

 
At 07 December, 2006, Blogger sassybead said...

Sex in the parents' bed...yeah, been there. What's the weirdest ever is when they come in and talk to you while you're all tucked in in their bed!! Ewww - now you're making me feel all weird...

And yes, I DO take my own pillow to hotels when I travel by car. Heck, I take my own pillow over to my mom's house when I stay in her spare bedroom! But since she's the most fastidious person I know when it comes to hygiene, that's just because my pillow is more comfy.

Hey - it looks like we're in the same line of work! I work in the training department of company that processes health care claims. I'm a technical writer...

 
At 07 December, 2006, Blogger G said...

lol defintely like a teenager...didn't help that when we arrived that first night my mom pointed to the bed, drew a line down the middle with her hands and said "no crossing the walls of jericho" LMAO

 
At 07 December, 2006, Blogger mrspao said...

Oh Big Bit - you poor poor traumatised thing! Glad you sound so relaxed!!

 
At 07 December, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Tricky subliminal message there. ;)

Ok, you reminded me of a sheets story. In my impoverished youth, my then-stepmom gave me a set of cotton sheets that had belonged to one of her sons. At the time, I was really into tie-dying, so I tie-dyed the sheets. Did you know that dye particularly adheres to protein stains?! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

 
At 07 December, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

You must have an easier way of changing fonts than I do. It took me a freaking hour to make some of the text bigger this morning. Madeleine's all, "Mommy why are you swearing at the computer?" And Quinn's first word may just be "fut."

Okay, but anyway - been there. Well not there in the bed, but in that situation. Little brother's bed, parent's house. I still feel a little icky about it.

 
At 07 December, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

Ew, ew, ew. I can't even think about it.

 
At 07 December, 2006, Blogger Betty said...

In the days when my mother came to visit often, DJ and I had to take to the floor, so we wouldn't wake her with our squeaky bed. The floor is not comfortble.

 
At 07 December, 2006, Blogger Mary said...

hi! I'm currently trying to not kill anyone I work with.

 
At 07 December, 2006, Anonymous Deanna (Domestic Chicky) said...

ooh...I like the subliminal...

And put me down for a wife for Christmas...or make that two-I'll make one go back to work! LOL

 
At 07 December, 2006, Blogger Peevish said...

Nice subliminal! And Spork. I love that word. Sporksporksporksporkspork

 
At 07 December, 2006, Blogger Freakazojd said...

Dude, I can't believe you did it in your little brother's bed!!!
:)

 
At 07 December, 2006, Blogger acaligurl said...

yikers! lil bro's bed? i just wouldn't be able to enjoy myself... (hee hee)

 
At 07 December, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

I think you and hoop should leave a spork by every bed/place you do it in.

 
At 07 December, 2006, Blogger EE said...

Hmmm....perhaps I should be worried bc you and I use the same email provider....(must look into this further) LOL!!!

Yeah. The whole sex in your brothers bed...in your parents house....yep. No thanks. LMAO!

 
At 07 December, 2006, Blogger Kell said...

Even when you don't think you have anything to blog about you're awesome. How do you do that?

What is it about being in your parents house that makes you want to do it even more?

 
At 07 December, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

It's a twin bed, isn't it? Something about a twin bed.

 
At 07 December, 2006, Blogger Alien said...

Well, look at that. I FINALLY get to come read the past three weeks of your blog and it happens to be on the day you tell the slackers to comment. SWEET! LOL!

And um, I once had sex in my PARENTS' bed. Ick. I think that may be worse than a younger sibling's, although both are kinda gross. LOL!

Allison

 
At 08 December, 2006, Anonymous wordgirl said...

Sorry I've been gone. I served on a jury this week. Can't wait to blog about it. Glad you've got the house!

 
At 08 December, 2006, Blogger Peggy said...

I used to LOVE staying at my in-laws. In fact, the youngest was concieved in his granny's bed. Hey, it was Christmas.

 
At 08 December, 2006, Blogger Mike Y said...

Um... I don't think I could ever do it in my parents house. I'd still have flashbacks of my mom telling Michael Armstrong that his "dingaling" was showing. We were in Jr. High and he was sitting on my porch when my mom came home from shopping. He was wearing running shorts at the time. It has haunted me ever since.

 
At 08 December, 2006, Blogger graymama said...

Hubby and I started dating when we were 15. We have had sex with his parents in the house more times than we could ever count. Now that we are actually married and have a kid, it feels weird. I can't do it. No matter how horny I am, and I am one horny gal.

 
At 08 December, 2006, Blogger Lucia said...

Now I'm stressed out about my email box with 5 years of crap in little sub-folders. I'm just waiting for the sucker to blow.

 
At 08 December, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

You miss a month and you miss an awful lot around here. Glad it's working out though (for the most part)!

 
At 08 December, 2006, Anonymous susan said...

Eeewww...yucky thoughts.

My parents gave us their really nice bed when they started RVing full time. But I'm not worried, my brother and I both KNOW that they only "did it" twice.

 
At 08 December, 2006, Blogger Dirk_Star said...

Love your blog!

Very funny and well written.

I'll have to stop back by.

 
At 08 December, 2006, Blogger meno said...

My husband and i used to have sex on the floor next to the bed at my parent's house because the guest bed squeaks. It was kinda fun. especially if i convinced him to be on the bottom.

 
At 08 December, 2006, Blogger Foo said...

Breaking things: sounds like you've got a promising career in Quality Assurance, if you ever get tired of babysitting the suds distributorship.

Sex and the parentals': No comment... except to say that Turtle is a naughty little minx.

 
At 09 December, 2006, Blogger Heather said...

I am soooo waaaaaay behind on blogs but just now read through all the posts I missed. I am so glad to hear that you FINALLY closed on the house and were able to rid yourself of the evil realtor. I hope you can find a new and suitable place soon.

Cheers

 

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