Friday, December 01, 2006

Bring On The Eggnog!

Not Far From The Tree:
Tink: I forgot to tell you, the carpet cleaner explained why the carpet under our bed was so dirty.
Mom: Why's that?
Tink: Apparently dogs secrete oil through their skin, more so than humans. He said he sees the discoloration most often on couches.
Mom: That's gross.
Tink: Well just think of it this way, at least your leather furniture is well oiled.

November Hit Statistics:
1. The leading countries for visits on my blog were the US and Canada.
2. The primary day for hits was Wednesday.
3. The most popular hour being 4pm.
4. The top referrers were Mignon and Alien (again!).
5. The most used search term was, "Ghetto Christmas."
6. My favorite search terms were, "Fack Mama," and "Hoop Yo Ho."
7. The highest hit post (215) was on November 20th, the first blogging day after I met Tammie and Jeff.

30 Quirks for 30 Days:
1. I've been known to apologize for apologizing too much.
2. It all comes down to my "Guilty Child" complex. That doesn't mean that I am guilty, just that I feel guilty all the time.
3. Which is exactly why I had Hoop call our new Realtor to cancel our appointment with her on Sunday.
4. Then the Realtor called ME to say I didn't need to feel bad for canceling and that she wasn't angry.
5. Obviously she has kids.
6. Was I relieved? No. I felt guilty. Pay attention!
7. I wish humans came in colors like blue and green.
8. I have two staplers at work. One is a Swingline...
9. ...The other is a decoy so people don't steal my Swingline.
10. I always thought the monsters in Critters looked like hamburgers with teeth.
11. I'm fully aware that I'm a creature of habit...
12. ...I'm just not always aware of the habits themselves.
13. I've been told I tug on my ears when I'm nervous.
14. And that I tap my foot when I'm thinking.
15. And apparently when I'm horny I pinch Hoop's nipple and ask what time he's going to bed.
16. I believe all fiction has some autobiography in it...
17. ...and all autobiography has some fiction in it.
18. If you search the word "trailer" in my blog you get over 10 relevant posts.
19. Which equals 4% of all my discussions!
20. I can't believe you guys have stuck around this long.
21. The part in the Black Crowes' song "She Talks To Angels" that says "She'll tell you she's an orphan after you meet her family" makes me think of the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
22. Which either shows how much attention I pay to plot lines, or just how much of a nerd I really am.
23. Nerds can be sexy, right?
24. There are 24 letters in my name.
25. I own five pairs of shoes, and three of them are black boots.
26. I wish I could smell my own belly button to see if it stinks.
27. The company I worked for before this one requested I learn how to use their forklift.
28. I told them they'd have to buy bumper pads for it first...
29. ...and my own personalized crash helmet.
30. They never pushed the issue after that.

Holy crap guys. I stopped at 30!

Courtesy of
Odd Mix:

The words for this weekend are...

Change
Persist


Don't be a wussy. Join the fun!

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: You have a hole in your butt.
Tink: *Turns around in circles trying to see own ass* Oh no! I love these pants.
Hoop: Your pants are fine.
Tink: Not if there's a hole in them.
Hoop: There isn't a hole in your pants.
Tink: What? But you just said-
Hoop: -You have a hole in your butt.
Tink: ...
Hoop: *Cheesy grin*
Tink: How old are you?!

Have a wonderful weekend!

18 Comments:

At 01 December, 2006, Blogger mamalujo1 said...

Stick your finger in your belly button and rub it around, then smell your finger. Also, if you have anykind of depth to your belly button, it probably stinks. Finally, get Hoop to check it out on his way down.

That belly button thing kinda caught my eye; can you tell?

 
At 01 December, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

Of course we would stick around that long. You're just wonderful!
Have a good weekend!

 
At 01 December, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

You have a hole in your butt. hahahaha .. You fell for that? Did he ask you to pull his finger next? How bout reach around and tap on your other shoulder? Or did he do the "point to your belly button and when you look down pop you in the nose" joke? LOLOL

"26. I wish I could smell my own belly button to see if it stinks."

Take up yoga and when you get flexible enough you will be able to.

Yes, I'm very immature, why do you ask?

 
At 01 December, 2006, Blogger graymama said...

Nerds are sexy! They get the hot chick/guy and have sex in the moon room, right?!

I think nerds are better at sex because they spend more time thinking about how to do it right than how to get themselves off.

BTW, do you want to borrow my nipple clamps for Hoop? :-P

 
At 01 December, 2006, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

I must be as "immature" as Hoop, because I thought he was actually talking about your butt, and not the pants! I blame it on being around a six year old! :)

Have a great weekend!

 
At 01 December, 2006, Blogger Foo said...

You may have been a bit hasty in giving the forklift a miss. I worked a couple summers at a manufacturing plant to pay for college, and I actively looked for excuses to drive the forklift.

#7 - I'd be a maroon. 'Nuff said.

#21 - That song makes me think of Sally The Stalker. One of the other warning signs was her claim that she and her twin sister were vigorously pursued by Montel Williams. He wanted them on his show, but she would never tell me why.

"Today's show: Psycho Chicks And How To Know When To RUN. AWAY."

 
At 01 December, 2006, Anonymous mamatulip said...

23. Nerds can be sexy, right?

Yup. I married one. :)

 
At 01 December, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

The nipple pinch... LMAO!!

 
At 01 December, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

Mamalujo is right about the bellybutton. I have an extremely deep one (I can stick my whole pinky into it) and I am obsessive about keeping it clean.
Except now, it's getting more shallow. I looked at it the other day and for the first time in my life, I can actually see the bottom of it. Weird.

 
At 01 December, 2006, Blogger Lucia said...

Girl, you only have 5 pairs of shoes? Seriously?! You might be the only woman I've heard of that less than, say, at least a dozen pair.

 
At 02 December, 2006, Blogger Mike Y said...

LOL! You finally found the hole, right? :)

 
At 02 December, 2006, Blogger Sunshine said...

You know, I've been reading you for a while now, and I have to ask, how long does it take for you to fall asleep at night? Because I have the feeling your brain never shuts off!
You crack me up.

 
At 02 December, 2006, Blogger Pamer said...

you apologize for apologizing??? That sounds like you're part Canadian

I guard my Swingline doggedly and ...oh yeah... Nerds are incredibly sexy

 
At 02 December, 2006, Blogger EE said...

You have five pairs of shoes? FIVE PAIRS OF SHOES?!?!? That's *insane* to me, LOL!

 
At 03 December, 2006, Blogger mrspao said...

I have a Swingline stapler at home - it used to be my mother's. I still have a load of staples for it too.

 
At 03 December, 2006, Blogger Alex said...

Only *five* pairs of shoes?! Wow.

 
At 04 December, 2006, Anonymous Lily said...

My kids steal my staplers. After years of telling them they will staple their own hands (ok, it happened to me) I came home once to see them all stapling everything in the house and their dad watching football with that "WHAT????" look.

In our house, once you get a taste of danger...thats it. They have loved them ever since. They make those crazy paper chains, they staple junk mail.

I am ashamed about my shoes, and respect you alot. I wish I could be a five shoe girl.

 
At 04 December, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

I hope you told Hoop his hole was way bigger and stinkier than yours!

 

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