Just Add Strippers
Also known as, "Yet Another Poll."
Let's pretend you bought two cameras from a reputable online source. We'll call that source Bull's-eye. Only instead of getting the two cameras you ordered, you got four. Hypothetically, of course. While we're pretending, let's just say you waited for your bank to be charged but it never was. What would you do? And by "you" I mean YOU, not what you think is morally right and what you would advise someone else to do. Face it, they're not always the same thing.
In case you need help, here are some pros and cons for all three options.
1. Take them back, confess there was a mistake.
PRO: It's the "right" thing to do.
CON: You get diddly squat for it. What, were you expecting an article in the newspaper?
2. Return them for the money/credit.
PRO: Your wardrobe hasn't been updated in five years. That cash could be well spent!
CON: One word dude, "Karma."
3. Give them to someone as a gift.
PRO: Charity, to those with less than yourself, is always appreciated.
CON: You've officially made someone an accessory to your crime.
OK, you have the
Look at poll results HERE. No looking before you vote!
InADvisable: Thank you Folioweekly for providing the blog fodder.
Women Seeking Men:
GORGEOUS BARBIE DOLL. 25-year old model, sophisticated and intelligent, enjoys upscale lifestyle. Looking for gorgeous, charming, and financially secure white gentleman between the ages of 40 to 75 for exciting adventures in travel, dining, and more! You don't think she's in it for the inheritance do you? Nah.
Women Seeking Men:
LET ME SPOIL YOU. Do you have high expectations, education, and appreciation for civility spiced with a desire for adventure? 50+ smoker, social drinker, seeking long-term relationship with height proportionate to weight woman who won't settle for less than she deserves. Most people would just say, "no short fat chicks." Not Rico here. He's suave.
Men Seeking Women:
WANTED. One good-hearted woman who can forgive and forget. One soul-searching woman who can overlook the small things and enjoy someone for just who they are and not who they ain't. Someone alive and ready to jive. This whole ad screams, "DAMAGED GOODS!" Word to the wise women, scratch-and-dent models are only good for washers and dryers. Besides, if this guy feels the need to clarify he wants someone who's "alive" you have to question his standards.
OLDER GIRLS ARMY. Toenails painted, sandals, hair, makeup perfect, shoulders back, lick those lips and smile! Be proud girls, you're at your finest hour! White man, 50, 6", 200, non-smoker, non-drinker seeking open-minded, sensual, mature female seeking pleasure, companionship, mutual appreciation! Every time I read this my mind attaches it to the voice and face of a 40 yr. old gay man... Oooh, this time he has a tiara.
I Saw You:
BOWL AMERICA. Day after Thanksgiving. You made me a Coke that cost "an arm and a leg." Do you want the rest of me too? Took you a little too long to fill the cup ("too much fizz"), almost caught your stare. The cost of inflation is becoming ridiculous. What are they going to charge next, our first born?!
HOW CAN I THANK YOU? Friday night, November 17th. You saved my life! Gave me a place to stay. Woke up not knowing where I was. I would like to thank you and return your burgundy blanket. Ms. Lohan? If you don't remember how you got there or who helped you, chances are you ALREADY "thanked" them. So put another notch on the bedpost for good measure and clean yourself up for Christ sake.
Pickled Beef will be closed tomorrow due to an unscheduled invasion by unstoppable evil forces... otherwise known as WORK. But you all can loiter if you'd like. Just don't drink all the beer.