Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Just Add Strippers

Also known as, "Yet Another Poll."

Let's pretend you bought two cameras from a reputable online source. We'll call that source Bull's-eye. Only instead of getting the two cameras you ordered, you got four. Hypothetically, of course. While we're pretending, let's just say you waited for your bank to be charged but it never was. What would you do? And by "you" I mean YOU, not what you think is morally right and what you would advise someone else to do. Face it, they're not always the same thing.

In case you need help, here are some pros and cons for all three options.

1. Take them back, confess there was a mistake.
PRO: It's the "right" thing to do.
CON: You get diddly squat for it. What, were you expecting an article in the newspaper?

2. Return them for the money/credit.
PRO: Your wardrobe hasn't been updated in five years. That cash could be well spent!
CON: One word dude, "Karma."

3. Give them to someone as a gift.
PRO: Charity, to those with less than yourself, is always appreciated.
CON: You've officially made someone an accessory to your crime.

OK, you have the facts hypothetical scenario. Now vote!


What would you do if you received free goods by mistake?
Take them back, confess there was a mistake.
Return them for the money/credit.
Give them to someone as a gift.
Make Free Online Polls

Look at poll results HERE. No looking before you vote!

InADvisable: Thank you
Folioweekly for providing the blog fodder.

Women Seeking Men:

GORGEOUS BARBIE DOLL. 25-year old model, sophisticated and intelligent, enjoys upscale lifestyle. Looking for gorgeous, charming, and financially secure white gentleman between the ages of 40 to 75 for exciting adventures in travel, dining, and more! You don't think she's in it for the inheritance do you? Nah.

Women Seeking Men:

LET ME SPOIL YOU. Do you have high expectations, education, and appreciation for civility spiced with a desire for adventure? 50+ smoker, social drinker, seeking long-term relationship with height proportionate to weight woman who won't settle for less than she deserves. Most people would just say, "no short fat chicks." Not Rico here. He's suave.

Men Seeking Women:

WANTED. One good-hearted woman who can forgive and forget. One soul-searching woman who can overlook the small things and enjoy someone for just who they are and not who they ain't. Someone alive and ready to jive. This whole ad screams, "DAMAGED GOODS!" Word to the wise women, scratch-and-dent models are only good for washers and dryers. Besides, if this guy feels the need to clarify he wants someone who's "alive" you have to question his standards.

OLDER GIRLS ARMY. Toenails painted, sandals, hair, makeup perfect, shoulders back, lick those lips and smile! Be proud girls, you're at your finest hour! White man, 50, 6", 200, non-smoker, non-drinker seeking open-minded, sensual, mature female seeking pleasure, companionship, mutual appreciation! Every time I read this my mind attaches it to the voice and face of a 40 yr. old gay man... Oooh, this time he has a tiara.

I Saw You:

BOWL AMERICA. Day after Thanksgiving. You made me a Coke that cost "an arm and a leg." Do you want the rest of me too? Took you a little too long to fill the cup ("too much fizz"), almost caught your stare. The cost of inflation is becoming ridiculous. What are they going to charge next, our first born?!

HOW CAN I THANK YOU? Friday night, November 17th. You saved my life! Gave me a place to stay. Woke up not knowing where I was. I would like to thank you and return your burgundy blanket. Ms. Lohan? If you don't remember how you got there or who helped you, chances are you ALREADY "thanked" them. So put another notch on the bedpost for good measure and clean yourself up for Christ sake.

Pickled Beef will be closed tomorrow due to an unscheduled invasion by unstoppable evil forces... otherwise known as WORK. But you all can loiter if you'd like. Just don't drink all the beer.

25 Comments:

At 19 December, 2006, Blogger Pamer said...

whoo hoo free cameras!!

Maybe in another life you were charged for four cameras and only got two. This is the universe balancing itself out.

 
At 19 December, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

I would HAVE to return them. Not because it's the right thing to do or anything like that though. But because I know that at some point somebody is going to do an inventory and their computer inventory control system is going to show that those cameras were shipped to me. Then I'd be toast.

I'm sure other people could keep the cameras and never have a problem. Nothing ever works out that way for me though.

Poor, poor pitiful me!

 
At 19 December, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

I hate to say it, but having kids has made an honest woman out of me. I think 10 years ago I would've kept the whole shebang.

 
At 19 December, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Oh, it's not the right time of day for a moral dilemma. Actually, no time is right for a moral dilemma!

May you surviveth the work.

 
At 19 December, 2006, Blogger Jess Riley said...

But what would TINK do, is the question? ;)

Love that Folioweekly stuff. Lately I've been having a good chuckle over a local cable channel's phone-in personal ads. People are so specific!!! And I had no idea so many women in my area were into monster truck rallies and tractor pulls. I guess I was being optimistic.

 
At 19 December, 2006, Blogger Kell said...

"Ms. Lohan" Bwahahahaha! Those are so much fun.

 
At 19 December, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

As I was reading your survey I noticed the karma cow staring at me and she snorted just enough to let me know which button I should pick.

and I have to agree with Kell "Ms Lohan" had me in stitches.

 
At 19 December, 2006, Blogger meno said...

Many years ago, the Mister ordered a fancy ass Nikon from a camera by mail place. Then, the day after it was shipped, the business burned down! Our credit card was never charged and there was no way to get in contact with them.
I voted to give them away, taking them back for credit would be really scumlike, but somehow giving them away seems nice. Guess i'm morally challenged.

 
At 19 December, 2006, Blogger meno said...

Oh, i just noticed that the ad for the Older Girl's Army says that he is 6 inches. snicker.

 
At 19 December, 2006, Blogger graymama said...

I have been watching too much Toy Story 2 with Buddy. When I read Bull's-eye, I thought of Woody's horse :-P

 
At 19 December, 2006, Anonymous Ch3ll3 said...

I voted to confess the mistake. Karma can be your friend but don't cross her! Besides, let's talk hypothetical butterfly effect here...ahem...*cues the deep-voiced announcer dude*... "Due to a computer 'glitch', almost 100,000 free cameras were shipped that day. Less than 40% of the receivers chose to own up to the error. The company took a financial hit, albeit a small one. Compound that by a poor economy and pretty soon Bulls-eye closes their local call centre...and opens it up in India instead". Capiche?

Loved the Ms. Lohan bit! You are so freakin' clever! :D

 
At 19 December, 2006, Blogger Alien said...

I need a new camera... And I like gifts. Do you need my address?

Allison

 
At 20 December, 2006, Blogger mrspao said...

Nice :) If you were in the UK, you wouldn't have to pay for the cameras as they would be unsolicited goods... We found this out when pao got two hard disks in the mail when he only ordered one.

 
At 20 December, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Your pros and cons are too good. I can't decide. Flip a freakin' coin.

Merry Christmas, Tink!

 
At 20 December, 2006, Blogger V said...

See now, that first "man looking for woman" just screams less damaged goods and way more "I want to act like an ass any old time and have you not mind"! Yeah...you and 90% of the male population buddy!

I'd gift them. I actually had a very similar thing happen a while back though..cameras as well...got 2 indstead on one and I gave one away...then LOST mine! Ah well...it was a piece of crap anyway....

 
At 20 December, 2006, Blogger Mike Y said...

I'd at least call them. If there's no billing and a wrong amount of items shipped, they probably don't have a mechanism for taking the return. You may be able to keep them, and have done the right thing.

 
At 20 December, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

Hmm... apparently I'm unethical and in the minority. I never would have guessed. I should have asked Jeff, he's usually my moral barometer.

 
At 20 December, 2006, Blogger Foo said...

Your poll question reminds me of what actually happened when we bought Turtle her new computer.

Shipment 1: The main unit and a box the wrong size and shape to be a monitor arrive. The latter is a printer, which we didn't order.

Shipment 2: The monitor arrives, along with a second large box containing a second main unit.

Turtle called Dell to first try and figure out what the hell was going on and then find out how we could return the extraneous packages without having to cart them to the Fed-Ex depot, pay for the shipping, etc. Arrangements were made.

Return shipment 1: The Fed-Ex guy comes to pick up the second computer but will not take the printer.

Turtle again calls Dell to sort out the problem.

Shipment 3: Another printer arrives. The first one was a photo printer; this one is an all-in-one scanner and color printer. Both use proprietary Dell ink cartridges. Neither is particularly wanted.

Turtle once again calls Dell and again gets a customer service representative somewhere in Bangladesh, who informs her that we should keep the printers and that we will not be billed for them. Riiight.

Sometimes the answer is "admit there's been a mistake" and "finders keepers".

 
At 20 December, 2006, Blogger Amy said...

I ordered items this fall from the Bull's Eye store online. They sent me the same items twice. I, too, waited for my card to be charged, but it wasn't. I didn't want the items that I had ordered (they didn't look cool) so I returned them. Both sets of them. And that very same day, I received an email from the Bulls Eye store saying they had realized their double-shipping error and would be sending out a UPS dude to take back the second shipment at my convenience and they would give me a $5 coupon for my troubles. I called to tell them I had already returned the items to the bulls eye store and they said they would make a note. The UPS guy was not informed of this and kept stopping by to pick up the package. I am still awaiting my next statement to see if I have been charged or if it has been returned.

 
At 20 December, 2006, Blogger gawilli said...

"height proportionate to weight woman"...maybe he meant "no tall skinny chicks". I doubt it. I had someone tell me once that they had a "no whale" rule when hiring. Can you say, "lawsuit"?

 
At 20 December, 2006, Blogger Sunshine said...

Hmmmmmmmm, moral dilemma about double getting stuff.

Uh, hang on for a while in case the mistake is realized as with Amy's story above. Then it's easier to get everything straightened out in the short term.

If the error is not discovered, take them back. Or you'll have some kind of Edgar Allen Poe thing going on in your head.

My son, in first grade, found a muddy, soggy dollar bill on the playground. He took it to the office. As is the policy, if it was not claimed within a month, he could have it. Along with the unclaimed dollar, he got a glowing letter about his honesty and integrity from the principal. We have it framed because we wanted to make a big deal about his actions.

Maybe the store will send you a letter and let you keep the extras after a month???? :)

 
At 20 December, 2006, Anonymous mamatulip said...

Dude, as tempting as it is, my conscience is way way too big for me to ever be able to keep them. I'd have to 'fess up.

 
At 20 December, 2006, Blogger FA said...

Wow! 4 cameras? I originally thought I would keep them and return for credit (great morals huh?) but I agree with mamatulip. That's "way too big" to keep.

 
At 20 December, 2006, Blogger acaligurl said...

women seeking men: the above should be on jerry springer!

 
At 21 December, 2006, Blogger mjd said...

Wow a poll and the lovelorn classifieds...This so much fun that I am tempted to loiter for a long time. No, I better go to teach science to seventh graders. I will stop by for a beer later.

 

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