Just Add Alcohol

Sorry I didn't post yesterday.

I was hiding out in my fort.

Unfortunately, because the fort was invisible, people kept finding me. I need to learn how to make myself invisible too. Work has been overwhelming lately. It's our busy season and I'm going on vacation in a week and a half. Which means everyone is rushing to dump as much as they can on my desk before I leave. I call it "The Great Asshole Race of 2007."

We got Hoop's car back last night. We're $1,600 in the hole and the damn thing is STILL overheating. We haven't even touched the bodywork yet. I keep thinking this year will get better. My Mom's theory is that all the bad stuff is getting knocked out in the first half of the year and that the second half will be better. On July 2nd at noon, the year will officially be half over. I think we should all celebrate.

I didn't take any pictures over the weekend, despite my good intentions. It bums me out. I was really excited about Odd Mix's word selection. Bless Hoop's heart, he couldn't stand to see me so glum, and tried in vain to spark a muse. He made shadow puppets on the wall using Duff's toys. The headless pony made an appearance as well as the humping monkey. Yes. They were together.

Stoopid Peapole:

Seen on a professional document from corporate office, "Not every vendor carried these products just for your information's."

The other night, Hoop and I went to pick up a desk we had ordered from Walmart.com. Regardless that the desk had already been paid for, the employee behind the counter refused to help us without a confirmation number. Hoop asked if the number could be obtained by calling a help line. The girl shrugged. Neither the employee or the manager knew what the help desk number was. So Hoop took a shot in the dark and dialed 1-800-Walmart. Lo and behold, it worked.

Overheard on the radio, "Your girlfriend shot at you, and now you're wondering if you should break up with her?" "Yes."

June Search Terms:
(What people put into search engines that bring them here)
1. granny huge boobs, papa likes feeling them Maybe he's just trying to rub her knee.
2. Easter bunny boobs You are one sick puppy bunny.
3. Itty Bitty Titties I'm detecting a theme here.
4. fraudulent hermaphrodite photos
5. wireless vibrating underwear for him Does it come with GPS tracking too?
6. purchase pickled beef It can be yours for 3 easy payments of... $25,000! What a steal.

Check out this awesome video of a couple of "Quick Change Artists." I've watched it four times and I can't figure out how they do it!

Tomorrow: Everyone's favorite, Folioweekly ads!