Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Tongue Wagging

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: Do you remember when you first bought your car and I pushed you to pick a name for it?
Hoop: Yeah.
Tink: Well, I just thought of a really good one.
Hoop: *Groan* What?
Tink: Little Timmy!
Hoop: That sounds like the name of a handicapped kid.
Tink: Exactly.
Hoop: I'm not naming my car that.
Tink: Poor Little Timmy.
Hoop: Not unless we can start a fundraiser for him.

May Search Terms:
(What people put into search engines that bring them here)
1. employees who have to ask permission to pee Now that's what I call incentive to move up the corporate ladder.
2. horseshoe crab's pee
Welcome to the ocean.
3. Nipples taste So you're saying maybe THEY ate the onions?
4. alanis morissette peeing in a cup That's about as ironic as her song.
5. Yo ho You better be a pirate, buddy.

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
(While walking on the beach)
Dog Walker: You can't have flashlights here.
Hoop: We can't have flashlights?
Dog Walker: No, it's turtle egg season.
Tink: I've NEVER heard of a flashlight ban, and we come here all the time.
Dog Walker: *Shrug* My wife got yelled at by the cops last night for having a flashlight. They told her they could have taken her to jail.
Hoop: Aw man! That kind of ruins the plans for tonight.
Tink: Well, thanks for the warning.
(Walks away)
Hoop: What are we going to do? Should we head back to the car?
Tink: *Looks over shoulder* Here's what we're going to do.
Hoop: What?
Tink: We're going to wait until that guy leaves...
Hoop: Uh huh.
Tink: Then we're going to turn our flashlights on.

Around The Water Cooler:
Coworker: Do you want to go to Wendy's with me for lunch?
Tink: No, thank you. I have peanuts.
Coworker: Peanuts aren't a lunch.
Tink: I'm trying to conserve money by spending no more than $1 on lunch each day.
Coworker: $1 isn't going to get you very far.
Tink: It goes further than you think. With $1 you can get a water and a package of cookies, or a bag of chips, or a coke and a pack of gum.
Coworker: That's pathetic, Tink.
Tink: I call it the "Dirt Poor Diet." It might just be the new trend.
Coworker: I'm getting you a burger.
Tink: That makes you my first share holder!

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At 30 May, 2007, Blogger fiwa said...

Dirt poor diet = top ramen. Just THINK how many lunches you could eat for a dollah! I too have done the dpdiet.

Oh, and the turtles? What, they get stage fright if they see a flashlight??

Hang in there, girlie.

At 30 May, 2007, Blogger Tawcan said...

LOL @ your diet plan.

A high school friend of mine was on a 5 day candy "diet" on a band trip so he could save the food money from his parents for a Nintendo Gameboy.

At 30 May, 2007, Blogger Chris said...

First shareholder! Heh! LMFAO. :)

At 30 May, 2007, Blogger Maggie said...

Ok the lunch story - I'm still laughing. But you know, if you make your lunch it costs less than a dollar. But who has time for that and why the heck would you if you have shareholders!

At 30 May, 2007, Blogger Jay said...

If you made lunch and brought it from home you would be surprised how much you can have for a dollar. Okay, maybe you wouldn't. You probably already knew that. I was just trying to sound smart. Did it work? No? Dang it.

Timmeh! LOL .. Poor little Timmeh.

Turtles are afraid of flashlights? I learn something knew every day.

At 30 May, 2007, Blogger Lefty said...

Even with only $1, you can do better than peanuts. How about pickled beef? That must be pretty cheap?

At 30 May, 2007, Blogger Newt said...

You are too funny. "My first share holder" LMAO

Hmmm, lunch on less than a dollar a day. You could do a can of soup and some crackers. I'm partial to tomato soup and cheddar Goldfish crackers.

At 30 May, 2007, Blogger Scottsdale Girl said...

OK newt just made me Gleek. Love tomato soup with goldfish crackahs.

I was going to suggest Top Ramen too, and then I remembered that Top Ramen? the cheapest colon clease evah. So I won't suggest it.

mmmmm tomato soup and goldfish.

At 30 May, 2007, Blogger Peggy said...

I got down to 138 on the dirt poor diet. It really works, but only if you don't eat junk. Pack a lunch for work, it really does cost less and is probably better for you.

At 30 May, 2007, Blogger meno said...

The dirt poor diet works okay, but i find the depression diet to be more effective because i don't WANT to eat.

Maybe we could have a bake sale to but you a better lunch.

At 30 May, 2007, Blogger mamatulip said...

Turtle egg season?


Tink, I'm so confused. Can you please tell me why flashlights aren't allowed during turtle egg season?

At 30 May, 2007, Blogger spellconjurer said...

residents and visitors are reminded to shield or turn off beachside lights, limit beach walking at night, avoid using flashlights or flash photography on the beach, and stay away from nesting sea turtles, hatchlings, and sea turtle nests. Lights that shine or reflect onto the beach disrupt the instinctive nesting process.

I totally get it. I'd rather get laid with the lights off too. Maybe it's cause I'm sort of shaped like a turtle tho.

At 30 May, 2007, Anonymous TB said...

Michelina's frozen dinners are only $1 at Publix and Target. The lean gourmet line is pretty good. And water from the tap is always free ;op

At 30 May, 2007, Anonymous gawilli said...

Ok, now I understand the flashlight thing. Thanks spellconjurer.

$1 for lunch. That's pretty meager but I like the shareholder idea!

At 30 May, 2007, Blogger captain corky said...

Sing me up for a copy of your gum and coke diet. Maybe for dinner tomorrow night I'll spoil myself and have some Wriggly's Juicy Fruit with my diet pepsi. Just to mix things up a bit. Ya know?

At 31 May, 2007, Blogger Orhan Kahn said...

Nipples taste, WTF?

At 31 May, 2007, Anonymous Lily said...

Poor turtles and their encroached upon habitat.

Poor Tink and the poverty diet. But its good to be thrifty, the reverse is a bigger problem. People spending money they dont have or should use for something else. People are dumbasses.I used to go out at lunch and get ice water and the soup while others spent ten bucks. Plus a bar tab! But thats another story. Anyway they would talk about their bills the whole time. And their twenty percent interest clothing credit cards.

Poor Timm-eh!

Why cant I stop watching that freakin show? Its so damn bad for my psyche.

At 31 May, 2007, Blogger mrspao said...

I'll shout you a bag of chips to go with your peanuts!

At 31 May, 2007, Blogger Tink said...

MrsPao: That would make you shareholder #2! Yay! Now we're getting somewhere.

At 03 June, 2007, Blogger EE said...

*snort* I love the convo about flashlights and turtle egg season. WEIRD! LOL!


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