Monday, August 13, 2007

The Painfully Stupid Years

Out of the diaries of Tink, complete with horrible spelling and metaphors.

May 25th, 1993
(10 years old)

Today I feel like a lazy lamb lying in the sun. I wish I were in bed right now. But schools all most over. Thank goodness for that! I'm sad and happy inside. Sad about leaving school but happy about summer break. Today Kim starting acting smart alicky when I started humming to my self in line. She gave me that, your dum look. Then she said "ooh, you touched your boyfriend" when she pushed me into John Vernor. So now I'll just play the ignor Kim game.

September 1st, 1993
(10 years old)

Today was fine, all exsept the jurk who sits next to me. After Ms. Minor told everyone the directions for an asinment he kept asking "What do we do again?" or "I don't understand this." It drove me nuts! Then he started poking and hiting me with pencils and calling me names. So when I came back to school to help a teacher, I took his favorite pencil put glue on it and put it back in his desk.

December 22nd, 1993
(10 years old)

I know everyone's always considered me the writer or the artist of the family, but I've never told any one what I really am. I may be good at art and writing but in my heart I'm a singer.

This made me laugh so hard I almost pissed my pants. The only tune I can hold is an off-key one.

January 3rd, 1994
(Almost 11 years old)

No one noticed my new peach silk blouse and beutiful vest. But, if I do say so my self I did look stunning. Today Kyle blurted out that he wasn't a virgin. He said he did it with Katie in kindergarden!

December 28th, 1997
(14 years old)

Hello Friend. This morning Zara and I went to a new Baptist Church. It was really cool. It had good, lively music and we spotted tons of fine hotties!! Plus the service was only an hour long, a lot better than the snooze sessions we're used to.

I'm glad I had my priorities straight.

January 19th, 1998
(Almost 15 years old)

I was watching a show tonight on people sneaking peaks into other peoples' diaries. Well, let me just say that I am putting a curse on this journal to whom ever may read it without my permission. So if you aren't me then you better shut it real quick. Otherwise your teeth with rot and fall out! N-E-Way, so much for Nick and I being "purely friends." We've been going out for a week now. He's the best boyfriend I've ever had. He's sweet, caring, funny, unusual, and he quit smoking pot and drinking for me. He said he doesn't want to lose me. Isn't that sweet?

More later...

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35 Comments:

At 15 August, 2007, Blogger TheBirdman33 said...

Yippee, first comment!!!

 
At 15 August, 2007, Blogger TheBirdman33 said...

I haven't even read it yet, I just had to point out that when you were writing in your diary at 10 years old, I was already a high school graduate and now I feel old.

 
At 15 August, 2007, Anonymous Michelle said...

Yipes. I had also graduated by 1993, BUT -- my husband hadn't so I don't feel TERRIBLY old. Just a leetle.

Love the last entry when you're 15. *sigh* A whole week together, huh? Magic.

 
At 15 August, 2007, Blogger TheBirdman33 said...

You were a pretty good writer for that age though, i am very impressed.

 
At 15 August, 2007, Blogger Chris said...

Hee hee. I hope my diaries from back then are lost in time! Um, yeah, and I feel REALLY old. Sheesh.

 
At 15 August, 2007, Blogger Mamalujo said...

Well shitfire, Tink, now my teeth are going to rot and fall out! And in 1983, when you were born? I was already well into my discoveries of assorted carnal pleasures. God, I'm old.

 
At 15 August, 2007, Blogger Jen said...

Um. Yeah. I, uh, graduated college in 1993. . . . Old. Old. ***sigh*** Does it help that the husband was just starting college then?

Also, props for making my pearly whites fall-out. As Mamalujo mentioned, "sh*tfire". I guess if you hadn't hexed and vexed us all, old age would have gotten my teeth sooner or later anyhow.

Glad to see that your talents have grown with you. I'm still waiting for that first edition autographed version of your book - whatever it may be. I have no problem paying for your works.

 
At 15 August, 2007, Blogger geenalyn said...

gawd you are still such a youngin' 10 in 1993, i was a junior in highschool fall of 93.

LOL at a week together and its magic and he gave up pot and drinking for you...now thats love ;)

and yes you defintely have your priorities straight...hotties, lively music and length of the church service are defintely most important when looking for a new church

 
At 15 August, 2007, Blogger captain corky said...

I gotta hear you sing. Please??? All I ask is one verse of your favorite song. Live your dream Tink.

 
At 15 August, 2007, Blogger Arabella said...

These are priceless.

I have an old diary entry that begins...(I can't believe I'm posting this; it's just so embarrassing)....."Dear Diary, Today is a day I will never forget. It's the day I saw _Vibes_ [an entirely forgettable '80's film], and the day I first started wearing deodorant!"

 
At 15 August, 2007, Blogger mrspao said...

Hehe :) Can we have a You Tube video of you singing then?

 
At 15 August, 2007, Blogger Peggy said...

I can't imagine what my 10 year old scribblings would say.

If you were 10 in 1993, you're the same age as my eldest boy. This means I'm old enough to be your mother!!!

 
At 15 August, 2007, Blogger Tawcan said...

Cool we're the same age!

 
At 15 August, 2007, Blogger fiwa said...

I'm with Corky - live your dream Tink! Sing your song! heeehee...

I shudder to think what I would have written about in a diary at 10. I think I was into Harlequin romances at that age, so it probably would have been bad.

 
At 15 August, 2007, Blogger Newt said...

Dear Diary, I feel really old today. A friend of mine was sharing her diary from when she was little. And that was, oh, after college for me. So, sigh. I think I'll take my wrinkley withered ol' butt and go feed the pigeons.

 
At 15 August, 2007, Blogger Sleepynita said...

A few weeks ago my MIL who lives in fear of chinese made goods called the 1-800# on the back of a jar of applesauce to find out where the apples were from even though the sauce is made in the USA. Yeah apples were from China, WTF? They grow apples there?

 
At 15 August, 2007, Blogger Jay said...

This was great. I love those. I think you should just scan some of them and post them as .jpeg's so we can see your handwriting and all the hearts you dotted your "i's" with and stuff like that too.

And I'm with the others. I think a little video blog of Tink singing would be awesome!

Oh and you've told us a few times about some of your artwork and drawings and stuff, but you've never showed any of them. Why is that? I'm sure we'd all LOVE to see it.

(no pressure though) LOL

 
At 15 August, 2007, Blogger Maggie said...

I adore these. If I had my diaries from back then, I'm not sure I'd be brave enough to post them. Let's just say that I'm glad to know I wasn't the only girl writing like that...

 
At 15 August, 2007, Blogger Scottsdale Girl said...

Oh gawd how I need to find my diaries and BURN THEM before I die, because I just know that my neice or stepson would start a blog SPECIFICALLY for the diaries.

Ho Lee Shit.

 
At 15 August, 2007, Blogger Scottsdale Girl said...

I before E except after C

ORRRR When you are spelling neice, or niece.

Whatever.

 
At 15 August, 2007, Blogger Pamer said...

N-E Way i think these are hilarious...LOL

 
At 15 August, 2007, Blogger Lefty said...

You were ornery even at 10. Glad some things don't change.

 
At 15 August, 2007, Blogger tammy said...

N-E-Way I say we get to keep our teeth, since we never actually opened the diary.

 
At 15 August, 2007, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

OMG! You were hilarious back then too! And, stunning! And, a creative speller!!

 
At 15 August, 2007, Blogger meno said...

I am in tears from laughing. These are perfect examples of why we should burn everything we write until we are at least 20, and in many cases longer.

But i am so glad you didn't. Wonderful!

 
At 16 August, 2007, Blogger Carrie said...

Hey Tink! Totally LOL at those entries...and the dates! I graduated high school in 1993.

I would be scared to see what kind of stuff I wrote at 10...my guess is something about my wicked cool feathered hair?

 
At 16 August, 2007, Blogger Macoosh said...

hey stopped over here from Jay's blog...he mentioned you might be the best blogger ever so I just HAD to see for myself. After reading a few posts, I just might have to concur!

Keep up the good work. :)
-Macoosh:)

 
At 16 August, 2007, Blogger HAR said...

OMG, this was priceless. First time visitor. Loved this post!

 
At 16 August, 2007, Blogger coffespaz said...

Ahh, the good old days! Your entries brought up some fun memories of my own. :-)

 
At 16 August, 2007, Blogger Chris said...

What's particularly painful to me is the fact that you were 10 in 1993. I was, uh, well, older.

 
At 16 August, 2007, Anonymous TB said...

I love your pencil revenge. And somehow, I can still hear your grown up voice in your ten year old self. Not that you seem like a ten year old, just that I still see glimpses of the person you were going to become.

 
At 16 August, 2007, Blogger furiousBall said...

that's weird I'm playing the ignor Kim game today too...stupid Kim

 
At 16 August, 2007, Blogger Nettie said...

Thank you for being here when a girl needs a good laugh. Very funny. I just might go home tonight and go through the old notes from my first serious boyfriend tonight. Always good for more laughs.

 
At 16 August, 2007, Blogger Kell said...

OK, my comment didn't make it for some reason, so I'll try again. Or maybe it's on another post? Oh dear. That could be too.

Anyway, I can't believe how creative and what a good writer you were even at 10! My diaries are page after page of "Nothing happened today" and "I am so bored."

 
At 23 August, 2007, Blogger Heather said...

OMG... that last entry is almost verbatium what I wrote in my diary in 1996 (when I was 16) about Jake. Unfortunatley he just TOLD me he quit smoking pot and drinking for me. Hopefully your boyfriend actually did it!!

 

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