(The anniversary of the day Hoop discovered this blog)
May I present to you...
The Hoop Interview!
Which is either the crappiest interview ever or the longest and best Hoop conversation yet. You decide.
Tink: What's the craziest thing you ever done?
Hoop: Am I keeping this PG?
Tink: You don't have to.
Hoop: I had sex with three midgets. Don't put that on there! I was kidding! *Tackles Tink*
Tink: Come on!
Hoop: No! Quit typing.
Tink: Anything you say can and will be used against you. How bout I change it to "midgets"?
Tink: OK. What was the craziest thing you've ever done for real?
Hoop: Um... Um... I don't know. There's too many to choose from.
Tink: What's the first one that comes to mind?
Tink: Turn off the TV! Fine, next question. What do you think of Lindsay Lohan getting caught this morning drunk driving again.
Hoop: She got caught again?!
Hoop: Man, she's stupid.
Tink: If we weren't together, would you do her?
Hoop: Am I sober or drunk?
Hoop: No way.
Tink: What's your favorite color?
Tink: That's not a color.
Hoop: Now you're getting picky.
Tink: Are you looking around the room for a color?
Hoop: Maybe green.
Tink: Who do you think you were reincarnated from?
Hoop: If I believed in it, you mean?
Hoop: Wow babe, these are hard questions! I guess it would be... MC Escher.
Tink: I can see that. Next question. What's one of your favorite memories of us?
Hoop: Kissing on the beach under the moon.
Tink: Awww. What's one of your least favorite?
Hoop: This morning.
Tink: *Laughs* Niiice. Now ask me a question.
Hoop: What?! Why do I have to ask you a question during MY interview?
Tink: I can't think of any more questions.
Hoop: Oh fine. Do you like smooth or crunchy peanut butter?
Hoop: Do you like your toilet paper rolling on the inside or outside?
Hoop: Me too. Have you ever kissed a girl naked?
Tink: Not naked. OK, OK, back to your interview. Which would you rather do, watch a porno with your parents or watch a porno of your parents?
Tink: Which is scarier, babies or old people?
Hoop: Old people. Hey, I just thought of the craziest thing I ever did!
Hoop: I put a tattoo on my arm while I was screwed up. (Which has now been removed)
Tink: That was pretty reckless. Why did you pick Marvin the Martian?
Hoop: Because I liked him.
Tink: How long did it take you to not like the tattoo?
Hoop: Two weeks.
Tink: Ouch. Next question. What's the coolest dream you've ever had?
Hoop: I was flying through space and I got lost and couldn't find Earth... Is my interview interesting?
Tink: I think so. But it's not long enough. If you found $100 tomorrow and couldn't spend it on bills, what would you buy?
Hoop: A steak dinner.
Tink: Mmmm. Steak. If you were a superhero, what would your power be?
Hoop: To stop time.
Tink: And what would you do if you could stop time?
Hoop: Rob a bank.
Tink: You would rob a bank?! *Stank eye*
Hoop: Probably not.
Hoop: I don't know what I would do!
Tink: What would your name be?
Tink: Sorry, "God" is already taken.
Tink: What if you get a tan?
Tink: If you found out that the world was going to end tomorrow, what would you do?
Hoop: Rob a bank.
Tink: Shut up.
Hoop: I'm just kidding. Are you writing all this down? Don't write this down!
Tink: I have to. It's an interview.
Hoop: This isn't Sports Illustrated. Do I get to edit it at least?
Tink: No. It's an interview!
Hoop: You're going to make me look like a dumb ass. Stop it. Stop typing.
Tink: Nope. Still typing.
Hoop: Stop it!
Tink: I'm. Still. Typing.
Hoop: This interview is OVER.
Tink: Party pooper.
Tink's Top Five Hoop Conversations:
5. Brain Cancer
4. Closet Necrophiliac
3. Hammer Juggling
2. Butt Mints