Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Heat Wave

It's so hot I think my brain cells are fusing together.

The air conditioner in my car died two weeks ago. I looked at the temperature gage on the way home yesterday and it said it was 100 degrees IN the car! It was four degrees cooler outside of it. I spent the majority of this morning fantasizing about ways I could drive the car without actually having to be in it. My best idea so far involves the use of a giant peg leg. Hoop wants to get rid of it. The damn thing is horrible on mileage, eats all its oil before I can change it, and now feels more like a mobile sauna than a SUV. But it's paid for. When you're broke, free sounds so much better than "sign over your soul on the dotted line." Which is what I'd have to do to get another vehicle.

But I'm not bitching. Really. Each time I sit down in that vinyl-seated hotbox I think of all the money I'm saving by toughing it out. Not to mention the calories I'm burning from sweating so much. It also helps if I pretend I'm in an endurance challenge or that the fate of the world relies on my ability to sit in my own sweat for an hour without fainting. I'm doing this for you! Now make me a damn cape. By the time I get home, my mind has tricked me into thinking the house is a mirage I will never reach. I have to stop myself from flinging my body through the door and onto the cold tile. I've actually started resenting people with AC. Hoop calls, chipper that he's out of work, and I want to repeatedly ask him how cold his car is.

"What temperature do you think it is in YOUR car? Is there dew forming on your windows? Are you sweating anywhere? Put the phone up to the vent. Oh yeah, that's the stuff. Man, that sounds so GOOD!"

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: Bayyyyybe.
Tink: Not now, Hoop. I'm busy.
Hoop: Do I stink?
Tink: What? No.
Hoop: Oh.
Tink: Why do you ask?
Hoop: I thought I accidentally put on Tink repellent today.

P.S. The fabulous and creative Maggie nominated me for an award! Acceptance speech tomorrow. Bring tissues.

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29 Comments:

At 11 July, 2007, Blogger Edge said...

I drive a 99 Civic. The AC doesn't work when I stop for a red light or stop sign.

I hate it.

I want a new car too.

My idea to cool my car down was to get a solar panel and hook it up to a widow unit and put it in the back of my car.

~Jef

 
At 11 July, 2007, Blogger Tink said...

Edge: Are you saying your car has the 4-60 AC like mine? 4 windows down going 60 miles an hour. Because the shit doesn't work when you're stuck in a 45 mph zone. *Sigh* I feel for you man.

 
At 11 July, 2007, Blogger J said...

My ex-roommate's car was like that. Not only did his AC not work, but the windows were broken and wouldn't roll down. We convinced him to buy a new (or at least different) car after he told us that he'd been seeing spots before his eyes if he spent more than 15 minutes in the car during the summer. It was much better than his idea of cutting a hole in the roof and installing a fan. ;)

 
At 11 July, 2007, Blogger Brodimus Prime said...

For three years at college in Florida I didn't have A/C in my car. It was the worst. I was always sopping wet when my first class started and freezing by the time it was over.

 
At 11 July, 2007, Blogger Nettie said...

You're opening your pores and cleansing, maybe overly cleansing, but I'm trying to remain positive for you girl. Be sure to hydrate. (I know you wanna bitch slap me for that comment)

 
At 11 July, 2007, Blogger Lefty said...

Tell Hoop that if he really loved you, he'd switch cars.

Actually, the fate of the world rests on me being able to resist the temptation to kill my secretary.

 
At 11 July, 2007, Blogger Mouse said...

my car apparently had air conditioning when it was new.. way back in 1987. Now it just has a cute little a/c light on the dash that taunts me by occasionally flashing green. My windows don't work so well either.. so its like a mini sauna.

 
At 11 July, 2007, Blogger Mike Y said...

When I lived in Jax, my gf's car didn't have AC. Her family was like mega-rich. And she actually purchased a car without it and was okay with it as such. I used to die in the thing and insisted on driving us everywhere in my car.

You can always get a motorcycle ;) Commuting is a breeze, literally.

 
At 11 July, 2007, Blogger Betty said...

I have just become resigned to the idea that my car and I are going into our twilight years together. The AC runs, at the moment, but the car looks 100 years old, then again, so do I. lol

 
At 11 July, 2007, Anonymous Michelle said...

I hear you on the car thing. Both Brent and I drive cars that are paid for. I will NEVER go back to car payments. What a waste of money!

As long as it is gettin' you from A to B, that's a good thing.

The A/C is fixable, right? I bet that'd be a lot cheaper than getting a new vehicle...

 
At 11 July, 2007, Blogger coffespaz said...

So, I guess this would be the wrong time to tell you all about my '07 Honda with the Ice Cold A/C huh?

Actually, sounds really rough. My first car (Nissan Stanza)had a/c that worked....maybe! Driving somewhere in the middle of the summer in Va Beach without a/c was a "different" experience...so I totally feel your pain.

Have an iced coffee...better make that a frozen frappucino...on me!!

PS I totally agree with Lefty. Hoop should want to switch with you, then he won't feel like you put on Hoop repellent!! :-)

 
At 11 July, 2007, Blogger Jay said...

My first car, a 79 Cutlass didn't have a working air conditioner. My second car, an 82 Plymouth Reliant had air, it just never worked. My third car, an 89 Escort had air that worked until about one month past the warranty date and then it went out and never could be fixed. Then I had another Chrysler Corp vehicle. The air blew really cold in it, but if I used the air the car would die cause the engine couldn't keep running AND run the air.

All I want out of life is a vehicle with a good air conditioner. Is that too much to ask? I guess so. *sigh* Poor wittle me. LOL

 
At 11 July, 2007, Blogger Maggie said...

Ok being stuck in a car that's hot sucks. So does a house that's hot and sticky at about 90 percent humidity and I want A/C in my house - whine. Oh well, the maze of 200 fans I'm installing won't bother people, you think Tink?

Here's an idea: parasail behind your car with either remote control on the engine like you know, Batman or James Bond would have, or use giant stilts to drive the car. It could work.

 
At 11 July, 2007, Blogger jinx protocol said...

Oh, wow, the new look is awesome. Tells you how long it's been since I visited. I should be ashamed of myself.

The first truck that I had - a 75 Ford - did not have A/C at all. I could go 150 in it, though. I had to, to keep from melting. It gets pretty hot in Georgia during the summer.

 
At 11 July, 2007, Anonymous mamatulip said...

It's been stupid hot here lately, but finally today it broke. After I put the laundry away and broke out in a full body sweat.

I'm with you -- I'd rather drive a car with no air in hell than pay for a new one. LOL!

 
At 11 July, 2007, Anonymous susan said...

My car is the only place that *has* air conditioning.

I hate being hot...yes, that's a big honkin' whine.

 
At 11 July, 2007, Blogger Chris said...

Pretend it's the Tour de France. ;) I hope you're hydrating as you drive!

 
At 11 July, 2007, Blogger mjd said...

I am sorry that your AC does not work; that sucks. The AC is broke in one of our cars; however, the temperature here was in the low seventies today. Plus, since we are both teachers and laid off for the summer, we can usually get by with one car. Take care, Tink.

 
At 11 July, 2007, Blogger Orhan Kahn said...

Hoop needs a hug.

(love the new-blog-look)

 
At 11 July, 2007, Blogger Lynn@ZelleBlog said...

Get up early. Steal Hoop's keys.... catching on?

 
At 11 July, 2007, Blogger Jess Riley said...

It is great having a car that's paid for. But I feel you on the non-AC issue. Just keep thinking about how much money you're saving.

Giant peg leg. Hehe.

 
At 12 July, 2007, Blogger Tink said...

What is this crap? It's supposed to be MY pity party! ;)

Lynn: I like you. You're sneaky.

Orhan + Jinx: Thank you! It's definitely growing on me.

Maggie: *Gasp* I could be Double-oh-Tink!

Lefty: That's pretty bad when the person who's supposed to be HELPING you drives you crazy.

 
At 12 July, 2007, Blogger Shambhu said...

"My best idea so far involves the use of a giant peg leg. Hoop wants to get rid of it. The damn thing is horrible on mileage,"-giant peg legs are known for their poor gas milage. Sweating is really good for you, just drink a half a gallon of really cold water before you get into the car, and it will all come right out of your skin. Very cleansing.

 
At 12 July, 2007, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

It seems like there is a heat wave hitting the whole country. It's been over the 100's here, but the good thing is that we have no humidity.

At least I have AC in my car! Hahahaha. Just kidding! :)

 
At 12 July, 2007, Blogger furiousBall said...

Fill up your pants with ice cubes, I swear you'll cool down.

 
At 12 July, 2007, Blogger Godiva Jen said...

Tink, don't you live in a small drinking village with a fishing problem, FLORIDA? And, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't Florida get super insanely mucho caliente? ? ?

I surrender. You are tougher than I.

 
At 12 July, 2007, Anonymous wordgirl said...

You have the sympathy of every person in the state of Texas. A car with no air-conditioning is simply another form of suicide. Death by a thousand paper cuts.

 
At 12 July, 2007, Blogger eric said...

i know this probably will frustrate you to no end ... but even when it's 95 degrees outside, i don't turn the air conditioner on in my truck even though it works perfectly fine.

i do it because i don't mind heat so much, but also because i feel this weird thing like i should be able to do this because this is the way it used to be done thing.

 
At 12 July, 2007, Anonymous TB said...

Oh my god another accident? Why does it seem like these things come in clusters? I had five accidents in five years when I was in high school and college. Only one was my fault.
I'm glad Hoop is okay.

 

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