Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Boobless

Hoop is a gorgeous man. Which makes it that much more annoying when he starts nitpicking himself apart. Last night he stood in front of the bathroom mirror, combing his hair in every direction possible. I stared at him from the side, trying not to laugh as he bemoaned his slightly receding hairline.

Hoop: I'm going to get a hair transplant. Would that weird you out?
Tink: Maybe a little. I think you're absolutely beautiful as you are.
...
Tink: Would you be weirded out if I got a boob job?
Hoop: Not if that's what would make you happy.
Tink: Well I'm NOT. I just wanted to see what your reaction was.
Hoop: But a hair transplant and a boob job are two totally different things.
Tink: Oh?
Hoop: Yeah, because I'm just replacing something I already had.

It was at this point where I lost all control of my jaw. I think I left it dangling somewhere around my feet. I stared at Hoop in shock and he stared back in horror. I will never forget the look on his face as he wondered just how much damage he had done. I swear he saw his sex life flashing before his eyes.

Hoop: Oh my God. Babe, that's NOT what I meant.

I dropped all the laundry and slid to the floor... doubled over in laughter. I laughed so hard I couldn't speak for damn near twenty minutes. Hoop kept trying to undig the hole he thought he was in, which only made me laugh that much harder.

Hoop: I didn't mean you have no boobs. You have nice boobs. I love your boobs! You know what I really meant to say right? Right?

Honestly, how many times can one say "Boobs" in a breath? I finally put a hand up to block his mouth and told him "Shut up. Just shut up while you can." He's lucky I wasn't PMSing anymore.

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13 Comments:

At 21 December, 2005, Blogger mamalujo1 said...

He MEANT that your boobs are perfect, and that you never had HUGE, rock hard, fake ones. Yeah, that's it.

 
At 21 December, 2005, Anonymous TB said...

From one A cup to another, at least when you're 60 they'll still be perky. That's what I tell myself anyway.

 
At 21 December, 2005, Blogger Tink said...

My Mom's wonderful C cup genes sprouted at my ass instead. I normally love my A's. Unless there's a really cute strapless shirt I want to wear. No bra= Tink looking like a prepubescent ;). Or I'm trying to order drinks. I don't think it would be as cute if I stuck my ass on the bar.

 
At 21 December, 2005, Blogger Arabella said...

Ladies, we have even more in common than I thought. Have you seen my little boobs and my really round ass? There are pictures of both on my website (though my face is conspicuously absent).

I'm deluding myself that I'm a B cup because I'm currently wearing my all-time favorite bra in size 32B, but I'm pretty sure 32B is smaller than 34A anyway; so much for that.

Yes, they will still be perky when we're 60. They had BETTER BE.

 
At 21 December, 2005, Blogger mama_tulip said...

I used to have a nice little B cup that was more A than B, but a B nonetheless. Then I got pregnant.

I have DD's now.

 
At 21 December, 2005, Anonymous Amanda B. said...

Bwahahaha! Poor Hoop, he knows not what he says. I love it.

 
At 21 December, 2005, Blogger Brooke said...

Oh poor Hoop. But it made me laugh all the same!

But, am I allowed to comment when I have the opposite problem?

I always ask my dear hubby if he'd mind if I got a reduction. Of course he'd back anything that made me happy, but then he always uses the "Do you know how much some women pay to have what you have naturally?" reasoning.

And BELIEVE me, I got the ass to go with.

 
At 21 December, 2005, Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

Big boobs sag, I got the stretch marks and underwires to prove it. While I was nursing I was measured at a DDD, try finding that off the rack. I am back to a C- (for the extra drag) and I don't miss the hoochies (except they did cover the view of my stomach).

 
At 21 December, 2005, Blogger Mary said...

LOL no real comments other than how do guys even think of some of the shit they say?!?! hehehe

 
At 22 December, 2005, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

I would have loved to have seen the look on his face when he realized what he said.

I am always pointing out fake boobs in a very imperious tone. But one time watching "The Man Show" ruined it now forever. They pronounced on that show that if they exist, they are real. Guys are so easy to please like that.

 
At 22 December, 2005, Blogger Tink said...

Men don't seem to care/realize that most of the time:
A. The boobs are hard as rocks
B. The woman LOSES ALL FEELING
It's not worth it. I know I bitch and moan when they're tender during my period, but I wouldn't give up having feeling there for the world.

Now if having a boob job is something that will totally uplift your self-esteem or you're trying to replace what you lost due to cancer etc then more power to ya. But it kills me when I hear women who are doing it for their men.

P.S. Hoop is still walking on eggshells. Should I take advantage of this? I think my back needs rubbing. Hehe

 
At 07 January, 2006, Blogger Tom said...

After my wife had our baby she got those ugly stretch mark. I am out looking at blogs to see if there is any information on how to get rid of the. Hey thank for the read.
Regards,
stretch mark cream

 
At 24 April, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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