Hoop is a gorgeous man. Which makes it that much more annoying when he starts nitpicking himself apart. Last night he stood in front of the bathroom mirror, combing his hair in every direction possible. I stared at him from the side, trying not to laugh as he bemoaned his slightly receding hairline.
Hoop: I'm going to get a hair transplant. Would that weird you out?
Tink: Maybe a little. I think you're absolutely beautiful as you are.
Tink: Would you be weirded out if I got a boob job?
Hoop: Not if that's what would make you happy.
Tink: Well I'm NOT. I just wanted to see what your reaction was.
Hoop: But a hair transplant and a boob job are two totally different things.
Hoop: Yeah, because I'm just replacing something I already had.
It was at this point where I lost all control of my jaw. I think I left it dangling somewhere around my feet. I stared at Hoop in shock and he stared back in horror. I will never forget the look on his face as he wondered just how much damage he had done. I swear he saw his sex life flashing before his eyes.
Hoop: Oh my God. Babe, that's NOT what I meant.
I dropped all the laundry and slid to the floor... doubled over in laughter. I laughed so hard I couldn't speak for damn near twenty minutes. Hoop kept trying to undig the hole he thought he was in, which only made me laugh that much harder.
Hoop: I didn't mean you have no boobs. You have nice boobs. I love your boobs! You know what I really meant to say right? Right?
Honestly, how many times can one say "Boobs" in a breath? I finally put a hand up to block his mouth and told him "Shut up. Just shut up while you can." He's lucky I wasn't PMSing anymore.