Monday, July 23, 2007

Does This Blog Make Me Look Fat?

Weekend Recap:
1. Don't worry, this post doesn't contain a single spoiler about the new Harry Potter book.
2. After work on Friday, I headed over to my parents' house to feed the horses and release the hounds. Hoop and I had been placed on "Zoo Watch" while my family took a vacation.
3. You don't know the true meaning of insanity until you've babysat 12 dogs. All of which continuously bark for no apparent reason. Maybe they hear fleas farting. Or ghosts. I don't know.
4. I'm actually hoarse from trying to yell over the sound.
5. Around 9:30 that night, Hoop and I headed to B&N for the release party of Harry Potter 7.
6. I faltered at the door when we arrived. The sea of people was overwhelming. I felt like I was trapped in a "Where's Waldo" book. Only it was more like a "Who's NOT Harry" one.
7. If Hoop hadn't acted quick, I might have stood there all night. He lead me to the table where they were handing out wristbands. "Number 233," the witch behind the counter mumbled.
8. "233?! As in, we're the 233rd customer?" Hoop stared at the woman incredulously. "That's correct." "We're never getting out of here." Poor Hoop. He's not even a Harry Potter fan.
9. While trying to decide what to do next, an old school friend came up to say hello. She was dressed like Hermione. I'd remembered seeing her at the last book release.
Tink: Cute outfit.
Hermione Look-Alike: I had it custom made.
Tink: I like your wand.
HLA: Thanks! It's authentic.
Tink: Oh yeah?
HLA: Made with a Phoenix feather and carved from a Holly-
Hoop: That's impossible.
HLA: ...
Hoop: ...
Tink: Oh-kay. Well it was nice to see you again!

10. Cutting through the crowd, we made our way to the coffee line. Then we followed it all around the store until we found its end. So we decided to take a drive to DD's instead.
11. After we got back, Hoop cleared a seat for us along the racks. We sat and drank for awhile, watching the freaks walk by.
Hoop: That guy looks just like Harry Potter!
Tink: What? He's not even in costume.
Hoop: I know. Crazy, huh?
12. At some point in the evening, a young girl and her friend came up to talk to two 40-something-year-old ladies sitting across from us.
13. I was unnerved by the fact that the friend was standing so near, with her crotch positioned directly to the left of my face. Had I turned, I might have hit it with my nose.
14. "Get this girl away from me!" I hissed at Hoop. The two girls left a few minutes later. The ladies stared after them with looks of confusion on their faces.
Tink: Did you know them?
Lady 1: No.
Tink: No?
Lady 2: She just walked up and started talking to us.
Tink: About what?
Lady 1: I have no idea!
Lady 2: She was telling us a story or something. I kind of blanked out for awhile.
Lady 1: Weirdo.
15. The clock finally struck midnight. Everyone cheered and anxiously waited for their number to be called. I stepped outside for some air.
16. Within minutes, the parking lot was dotted with people. Each had walked out the door and turned to the last chapter of the book.
17. "I'm going to read the last chapter!" One obnoxious woman screamed as she stepped outside. She flipped the book open and made as if to read aloud.
18. "Do it and I will hurt you," I calmly told her. She laughed nervously and closed the book, unsure if I was kidding or not.
19. Truthfully, I'm not sure either. ;)
20. An hour later Hoop and I sprinted for the car, book in hand. "My precious!" I crooned, rubbing my hand across the cover.
21. The rest of the weekend passed in a blur of animal feedings, video games, and book reading.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
(While at the gas station talking to
this guy)
Attendant: Are you reading the new Harry Potter book?
Tink: Yeah! I'm about 1/2 way through it.
Attendant: Wasn't it crazy when-
Tink: -So how's your book coming along?
Attendant: Great! Thanks for remembering. I just wrote two new chapters last night.
Hoop: *Whispers* You should give him the link to Twisted Tink.
Tink: *Whispers* NO.
Hoop: Ok, well have a nice day!
Attendant: You too.
Hoop: You didn't want to give him the link?
Tink: No way.
Hoop: Afraid he might steal your work?
Tink: More like, afraid he might keep contacting me.
Hoop: Can you imagine what the story would be like if he stole the idea?
Tink: Oh Gawd. He'd spend two pages describing the trees.
Hoop: Then he'd add an elf, a troll, and a warrior.
Tink: I can't believe how much the story he's writing has been stolen from Tolkien.
Hoop: He should call it, "Master of The Loops."

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At 23 July, 2007, Blogger Jay said...

My copy was delivered about 10 am Saturday by a VERY worn out looking woman. I bet that was the longest day of her life. Now she knows what it was like back in the day when they had to deliver the Sears catalogue to every house in America. LOL

I'm almost done. I had to share the book with mom, being the nice guy that I am. I knew you wouldn't be so rude as to have spoilers here.

For a while I felt like I was missing out on the fun since there aren't any bookstores here in my town. But, I kinda think I'm better off for it now.

At 23 July, 2007, Blogger Lynn@ZelleBlog said...

1.You went! How cool!

2.I love freakfests. All kinds of freakfests. Costumes are always a bonus.

3.Ok but I never wear them.
4. Must get to Twisted Tink soon! Damned alluring internets.

At 23 July, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I look like Harry Potter.

At 23 July, 2007, Blogger Newt said...

I'm starting to look more and more like Dumbledore, well, when he was alive that is. Long grey hair, wrinkles, go everywhere in my robe.

At 23 July, 2007, Blogger sassybead said...

What is with some people and this cruel, wicked desire to spoil the ending for everyone else?? Sheesh!

I know it's fun and crazy to go to the parties at the local bookstore box, but I have the best-ever and quickest way to get my copy - no number-taking involved!

I just went to my local Costco on Saturday morning and picked up my copy off a big old stack for half price...not pushing, no shoving, no waiting - well except for the checkout line! Of course, this only works if you have a Costco nearby!

No, I'm not done yet...should be tonight though! I didn't get to read much until Sunday.

At 23 July, 2007, Blogger Chris said...

No spoilers! I estimate it will be one month before my number comes up at the library for the audiobook.

La la la la la la la...

At 23 July, 2007, Blogger Spamboy said...

The story about Hoop and the magic wand reminded me of the following: I remember going to see the Star Wars movie when they re-released it. My friends and I, who were big into playing the Star Wars Role-Playing Game at the time, were in line together when some dudes dressed as Stormtroopers walked by and handed us each a piece of paper. They were flyers for the local fantasy fair, and on the back were a few advertisements. One of them was for a company called "Park's Lightsabres" which made "authentic lightsabres". My friend Bob was taken aback. "They're real?" he half-wispered in awe. "Yeah, Bob," we said, "and they work, too." And for one bright, magical, short spark of a moment, Bob's face lit up in wonder as he seriously believed us. It was at this time that those around us observed the exchange, laughed in merriment, and extinguished the flicker of flame that was Bob's imagination ringing true, albeit briefly.

At 23 July, 2007, Blogger Lefty said...

I promise not to hate on Harry Potty (or his rabid fans) in this comment.

I hope they were good video games.

At 23 July, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Finished it last night. The book was delicious (if a bit more complicated than I would have liked).

TWELVE dogs? That's about 11 more than my patience can handle!

At 23 July, 2007, Blogger spellconjurer said...

HOLY CRAP it is true!! Mamalujo DOES look like Harry, in about oh,,,,30 years or so! I heard once that someone said he looked like Martin Short,,,,,,,snort. Crazy people. It's totally obvious he's a Harry Potter clone. Or Harry Potter is his clone? Or maybe mamalujo had an affair with Ms. Rowling when he was in Europe? And he is the INSPIRATION for Harry!!! That's it. And if Harry lives or dies? will tell us all how mamalujo's affair with her ended. Hmmmmmmmm,,

At 23 July, 2007, Blogger mitchgib said...

"Maybe they hear fleas farting"
You are the funniest !

I know what you mean about the crowd thing, that's why I had our HP book delivered !


At 23 July, 2007, Blogger Peevish said...

:) One of my best friends works in a bookshop, so she very kindly brought my copy home for me!

At 23 July, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Our biggest treasure (aside of the book, of course) is the two big empty BOXES that held the books that KT snagged while she was leaving the bookstore.

I have no idea what she's going to do with them...but they are hers...all hers!

At 24 July, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Master of the Loops is a BRILLIANT line!

At 24 July, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know I am new here, so forgive me if this has been covered, what kind of dogs do you have 12 of?!?
I run a kennel that can hold 300 animals but that is still not the same as trying to watch tv surrounded by animals lol

I am very jealous about the horses too.

At 24 July, 2007, Blogger captain corky said...

It sounds like I missed out on all the action this weekend. I still haven't even seen HP 5 yet. I feel so lost...

At 25 July, 2007, Blogger mrspao said...

pao looks so much like Harry Potter that one of my work colleagues who hadn't seen him before asked me why I had a picture of Harry Potter on my noticeboard!


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