The "Christine" Of Appliances

The week off had been going beautifully until Hoop and I came home from Orlando tonight. We rolled in only to have our headlights illuminate an unwanted house guest sitting in our driveway...

A fridge.

The same fridge we'd sold four days prior to the grumpy old man who lives behind us. Only, it was back. We searched the appliance, the door, and the windshield of my car for a note. But there was nothing. I knew it couldn't be an issue of quality. The fridge had worked when we'd sold it. It was the same archaic POS that had come with the house. At a ticket of $50, it was the last item I expected to get complaints about. Yet, there it sat. I've come to the conclusion that it missed us.

We had a garage sale over the weekend. Well, more like a Saturday sale. We set up shop on Sunday but no one showed. Damn bible belt. I take that back. We had one bite, a Mexican dude on a bicycle. But he didn't say much and peddled off with nothing. He didn't have room anyway. Maybe he was looking for a basket. Monday, Hoop and I got new drivers licences. I spent an hour that morning blow-drying my hair and putting on make-up. Hoop, on the other hand, threw on a visor and some slightly wrinkled clothes.

"I'll just ask them to keep the old picture," he said. Imagine the look of horror on his face when they told us a new picture was mandatory. He spent five minutes in the bathroom scrubbing the hat line off his forehead. In the end, his picture came out beautifully. It may be the best picture of him ever taken. Mine? I look like I'm high. That and it appears I have five inches of black hair root because the angle of the light was not meant for shorties like me. *Sigh* It's high school yearbook all over again.

On Tuesday we took my brothers to the spring. There is nothing quite as exhilarating as frying in the sun on a tube while your ass drags through freezing cold water. My favorite part of the day was when Hoop and I left the kiddos to snorkel above "Devil's Ear" while we walked to the next spring over. It was completely desolate. As we waded in the crystal clear water, surrounded by trees, I felt like Adam and Eve. But without the naked part. Or the innocence. Ok, screw the analogy. It was awesome!

Today we went to Universal Studios for the day to ride roller coasters. I always have so much fun with Hoop at amusement parks. Which always makes it that much harder to leave. There's something about "closing time" at the park that makes you realize how close your vacation is to being finished. Which brings us back around to the arrival home and the damn fridge. Have I ever told you how much I hate awkward confrontations? If I know what the argument is going to be and I can prepare, I'm OK. But this? This is just bizarre.

How am I going to explain to this old geezer tomorrow that, like us, the fridge just didn't like him? Do you think I could tell him I'm keeping the money as a lesson? Hey, I didn't move here to make friends. Anyway, Christine aside, Hoop's birthday is tomorrow. Well, today if you consider the time. My baby is turning 30! So show the boy some love and tell him how great the 30's are going to be. If you tell him anything that's going to make him feel worse, I will hurt you. Not badly, just a little. I can't afford to be sued.

More updates and pictures to come soon.

P.S. Anyone waiting for their prize goody bag, I'm sending them out tomorrow. I know, I suck. Forgive me. But on the bright side, you're getting more shit because of the delay. I just kept picking things up. Kind of like when you start your Christmas shopping too early. Let me know when you receive them. Love n' miss you all.