Thursday, August 09, 2007

The "Christine" Of Appliances

The week off had been going beautifully until Hoop and I came home from Orlando tonight. We rolled in only to have our headlights illuminate an unwanted house guest sitting in our driveway...

A fridge.

The same fridge we'd sold four days prior to the grumpy old man who lives behind us. Only, it was back. We searched the appliance, the door, and the windshield of my car for a note. But there was nothing. I knew it couldn't be an issue of quality. The fridge had worked when we'd sold it. It was the same archaic POS that had come with the house. At a ticket of $50, it was the last item I expected to get complaints about. Yet, there it sat. I've come to the conclusion that it missed us.

We had a garage sale over the weekend. Well, more like a Saturday sale. We set up shop on Sunday but no one showed. Damn bible belt. I take that back. We had one bite, a Mexican dude on a bicycle. But he didn't say much and peddled off with nothing. He didn't have room anyway. Maybe he was looking for a basket. Monday, Hoop and I got new drivers licences. I spent an hour that morning blow-drying my hair and putting on make-up. Hoop, on the other hand, threw on a visor and some slightly wrinkled clothes.

"I'll just ask them to keep the old picture," he said. Imagine the look of horror on his face when they told us a new picture was mandatory. He spent five minutes in the bathroom scrubbing the hat line off his forehead. In the end, his picture came out beautifully. It may be the best picture of him ever taken. Mine? I look like I'm high. That and it appears I have five inches of black hair root because the angle of the light was not meant for shorties like me. *Sigh* It's high school yearbook all over again.

On Tuesday we took my brothers to the spring. There is nothing quite as exhilarating as frying in the sun on a tube while your ass drags through freezing cold water. My favorite part of the day was when Hoop and I left the kiddos to snorkel above "Devil's Ear" while we walked to the next spring over. It was completely desolate. As we waded in the crystal clear water, surrounded by trees, I felt like Adam and Eve. But without the naked part. Or the innocence. Ok, screw the analogy. It was awesome!

Today we went to Universal Studios for the day to ride roller coasters. I always have so much fun with Hoop at amusement parks. Which always makes it that much harder to leave. There's something about "closing time" at the park that makes you realize how close your vacation is to being finished. Which brings us back around to the arrival home and the damn fridge. Have I ever told you how much I hate awkward confrontations? If I know what the argument is going to be and I can prepare, I'm OK. But this? This is just bizarre.

How am I going to explain to this old geezer tomorrow that, like us, the fridge just didn't like him? Do you think I could tell him I'm keeping the money as a lesson? Hey, I didn't move here to make friends. Anyway, Christine aside, Hoop's birthday is tomorrow. Well, today if you consider the time. My baby is turning 30! So show the boy some love and tell him how great the 30's are going to be. If you tell him anything that's going to make him feel worse, I will hurt you. Not badly, just a little. I can't afford to be sued.

More updates and pictures to come soon.

P.S. Anyone waiting for their prize goody bag, I'm sending them out tomorrow. I know, I suck. Forgive me. But on the bright side, you're getting more shit because of the delay. I just kept picking things up. Kind of like when you start your Christmas shopping too early. Let me know when you receive them. Love n' miss you all.

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31 Comments:

At 09 August, 2007, Blogger Pamer said...

Sounds like an great holiday. We are theme park junkies too...they normally drag us out kciking and screaming.

See...the fridge must have been an early 30th present for Hoop. Your neighbour is very considerate.

HAppy Birthday Hoop

Glad you're back TInk, safe and sound.

 
At 09 August, 2007, Blogger Terri said...

too funny about the fridge; make sure you do a f/u post on why it was in your driveway (I mean besides it liking you and not him).

Happy Bday Hoop! Although I've never seen the two of you, you both sound like an cute couple! Here's to you guys!

 
At 09 August, 2007, Blogger mamatulip said...

Happy Birthday, Hoop! Thirty is going to rock. ROCK!

(I keep telling myself that because I'm turning thirty in September. Hold me.)

 
At 09 August, 2007, Blogger fiwa said...

I'm glad you had a good time, but I'm SO HAPPY you're back! I came by every day and fed the fish for you.

Happy Birthday Hoop! Your 30's will be great. It's like this. The 20's are all good and fun, but it's like high school. Looking back on it is fun, but once it's over, you won't ever really want to go back because things are so much better now.

 
At 09 August, 2007, Blogger geenalyn said...

sounds like you had a great vacation....i love amusement parks....going on the rides makes me giddy.

HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY HOOP!! I turned 30 a month ago now...and so far its been pretty good, i haven't fallen apart or anything lol.

 
At 09 August, 2007, Blogger Chris said...

Happy birthday, Hoop!

Hee hee - there definitely needs to be a horror movie about evil appliances...

 
At 09 August, 2007, Blogger captain corky said...

Make sure she spoils you Hoop!

That fridge ting is bizarre. I can't wait to here what the guy has to say for himself.

 
At 09 August, 2007, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

Happy Birthday, Hoop!

Welcome back, Tink! Glad you had fun!

 
At 09 August, 2007, Anonymous wordgirl said...

A pox on the old man! Hoop, my thirties were the best part of my life. Yours will be awesome as well.

 
At 09 August, 2007, Blogger Jay said...

I guess the fridge just got homesick. Poor fella. I hope you guys gave him a hug and told him everything will be okay.

Happy Birthday to Hoop! Why be concerned about 30 when you have someone as awesome as Tink by your side dude?

 
At 09 August, 2007, Blogger Lefty said...

That is one scary fridge.

I'd say just move the thing into HIS driveway. That is unless you two want to be "good neighbors" or "polite" or "reasonable" or some other such crap.

Did you bring back any Land Shark Lager for us?

 
At 09 August, 2007, Anonymous Michelle said...

Glad you're back! Weird thing about the fridge though.

Hoop: 30 ROCKS! It was one of my best years yet. Met my husband, took a life-changing seminar, got married, made some good decisions about my career and more. You're gonna love it.

 
At 09 August, 2007, Anonymous susan said...

Happy Birthday Hoop! You're like, a grown up now!

Hey was the fridge filled with beer? Kinda like a welcome home/birthday gift?

 
At 09 August, 2007, Blogger phsymom said...

Happy Birthday Hoop! Your thirties are some of the best times, enjoy them.

 
At 09 August, 2007, Blogger Scottsdale Girl said...

THe 30's are the greatest time of your life.

Really.

Just ask me, who is about to turn 40.

 
At 09 August, 2007, Blogger eric said...

i can say that while i don't like some of the physical deficiencies, i've been more happy in my 30s than any other time except for when i was really young and didn't realize that my life sucked.

 
At 10 August, 2007, Blogger David's Traveling said...

I swear there is a ghost in my fridge... it makes the strangest noises...

 
At 10 August, 2007, Blogger Freakazojd said...

Curmudgeons are fun, but not when they're your neighbours.
And Hoop, I have to preface my next comment by saying that I was already excited when I read you were turning 30, so I would have offered these words unprompted: the 30s have been very, very good to me thus far. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have. They're just numbers, after all. :)

 
At 10 August, 2007, Blogger Peggy said...

Happy Birthday Hoop!

I enjoyed my 30s much more than my 20, mostly because I had a bit more money.

 
At 10 August, 2007, Blogger Peggy said...

and what happened about that fridge?

 
At 10 August, 2007, Blogger Edge said...

First ... how do you write so much at one time?

Second, my wife and I use "amusement park" as a euphamism for self-sex ... (pause) ... you know ... (pause)masturbation.

~Jef

 
At 10 August, 2007, Blogger Betty said...

Happy Birthday, Hoop. Glad you both enjoyed your vacation.

 
At 10 August, 2007, Blogger coffespaz said...

Happy 30th Hoop!! I was a little wary of the big 3-0, but having resided there for too many years to count, I look back and realize it was a breeze. 30 is AWESOME!!!! You're older and wiser, but your brain tells you you're still young enough to pretend you just got out of college. Its the best of both worlds! ENJOY!!!

Re: Christine's sister....you gotta update us on that story. Too hilarious!!

 
At 10 August, 2007, Blogger Newt said...

Happy Birthday Hoop! The 30's ROCK. They really do. I think they have been the best years of my life. All grown up but still a kid at heart. You can have it all.

 
At 10 August, 2007, Blogger Jen said...

So, will it cost you the $50 to get rid of the little feller? I mean, if you are now responsible for chucking it, doesn't that come with a price? Or you could resell it to somebody else and make some more cha-ching? If it keeps coming home you could make a killing. Hey, this might not turn out to be a bad thing.

Um, Hoop. . . .your 30's will be interesting to say the least. I can't say anything bad here for threat of a little one named Tink will open a can of whoop a** on me. So, yeah. Your 30's are/will be craptacular. . . . errrr . . . I mean, spectacular! Right.

Anyway, happy birthday!

 
At 10 August, 2007, Blogger butterfly girl said...

Well it's just a fridge. What can he say? You didn't leave anything strange in there did you?

Happy birthday Hoop!!!!


Glad you had a rockin good time!

I love grab bags, ya'll are so lucky!!

;)

 
At 11 August, 2007, Blogger Mike Y said...

Possession is ...

You can always sell it again. What a great gig ;)

Happy birthday to Hoop! 30's nothing. I actually had fun turning 30. I'm not looking forward yet to turning 40 next month, though. Maybe if I keep pedaling, I can reverse time.

 
At 12 August, 2007, Blogger mrspao said...

Happy birthday, Hoop! Have a great time - maybe that fridge was back to hold lots of beers?

 
At 12 August, 2007, Anonymous gawilli said...

Welcome home!

Happy Birthday Hoop! The only thing better than 30 is 31. Then 32 and 33. The best is yet to come! Besides I'm kinda with Jay on this one. Life is as good as the person you spend it with. No worries there.

 
At 12 August, 2007, Blogger Foo said...

"There is nothing quite as exhilarating as frying in the sun on a tube while your ass drags through freezing cold water."

And I thought riding a bike gave me some messed up tan lines!

I have an idea for your appliance dilemma. You and Hoop need to get busy building one of those trebuchets. I know I've seen appliance launching on TV before...

 
At 12 August, 2007, Blogger amusing said...

I've been trying to explain the appeal of tubing to my young'uns and they just don't get it. I think it may be that whole "ass in the cold water" part....

Speaking to you from the nearly fifties, thrill to the thirties, dude. It's like women in their 30s complaining about their bodies -- just wait until you hit fifty and you will think you looked like a centerfold back then...

Have a rootin' tootin' birthday celebration!

 

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