Saved By Cuteness
Stare at this for a moment...
I didn't have time to vlog or add a new chapter to Twisted (Tink).
But you can't be mad at me. The cuteness is overwhelming!
Oh-kay. I'll stop. On to other things!
Below blog fodder provided by Folioweekly.
Women Seeking Men
FISHING PARTNER. Single white female, 46, kids are grown, loves fishing, football and family. In search of "good ole boy" with a boat who shares similar interests. Let me cook for you, you'll be hooked! Don't do it! She just wants the boat! Next she'll be after your bubba truck.
REBEL YELL! Fly away with me to a place we've never been before! Single white female, 48, mother, non-smoker, seeks single male, 45-55, for something we've never known before. Yes, fly, fly away you weird metaphor people.
KINKY & ROUGH. 25, white French femme, in shape with implants. Full figured size, skinny waist. Seeking BDSM partner with big attributes, something that would hunt. Must be strong and able to control this certified angus beefsteak. Something that would HUNT? As in catch you food?! That is one amazing penis.
Men Seeking Women
SURVIVAL OF THE FIT. White male, sixties, semi-retired but keeping busy. Looking to share the company of a fit, intelligent lady with a sense of humor. If you are a boater, that is a bonus. Recreational over procreational. I don't care how big your boat is Sweetie. It doesn't make up for the fact that your junk is broken.
CLASSY GENTLEMAN. Gentleman in his 50's, college graduate who likes mountain climbing, hiking, movies, swimming, tennis, and golf. Looking for a young lady, 25-55, who likes the same things for a long-term relationship. Saying you graduated from college (What, twenty-five years ago?) does NOT give you something in common with the twenty year olds you're targeting.
I LOVE MY DOG BUT...
It's not the same. I'm respectful, 5'11", 180, young 57, funny conversational, secure, versatile, kissable, attractive, committable, romantic, clean, honest. Do you love your dog, or do you LOVE your dog?
63-YEAR-OLD, DIVORCED. Have money; live in RV. Looking for a woman. No baggage or strings. I bet he doesn't have any fingerprints or an ID either.
I Saw You
THE OASIS IN THE SUN. You: legs from here to eternity, smile that lights up the room, sense of humor that comes from the heart. Always serving up a meal with absolute grace. How do I modify my behavior to overcome my shyness? Whoa. How does she find pants?
MUFFIN TOP MEETS BEAR. You: Grizzly Adams behind the bar. Me: Muffin Top who just lost cat. I needed a hug; you were too busy being rude to customers. Can't wait to see you again so we can discuss how to tame you! I bet he won't hug you after he beats you either.
DOODLE DANDY. You made me feel like a wild animal who couldn't wait to pounce. My claws protracted, my juices were flowing, my fever was burning. Your golf skills, dog skills, nunchuck skills are unsurpassed. How are your bow hunting skills? Ewwwww. People like this keep Mace in business.
Have a great weekend! Don't forget the WWC words for this week are LIFE and WHITE.