Monday, June 16, 2008

Crack Tea With Balls

This may come as a shock to none some of you, but I happen to have an addictive personality. The first time someone told me this, I thought it was a compliment. Like, "Aw, they're addicted to me! Isn't that sweet?" My date promptly corrected me... right after I made some dumbass comment about them needing to make Tinkorette gum. The point is, it wasn't so obvious to me then. Sure, I dabbled in illegal substances when I was young. But that never developed into a habit. Then there were cigarettes, coffee, and Pez. Oh how I loved those little candy bricks. But not the yellow ones, they tasted like Pledge.

Pez was later replaced with Zebra gel pens and cigarettes with ITunes. At one time I loved the game Creatures. That bled into Creature game forums, which lead to blogging (hey Homebloys!), which collected sites like Etsy, Facebook, and Neopets. I've since realized that I have an addiction problem. If there is the slightest possibility that I might really like something new, I try to stay away from it. But apparently, my addiction has adapted, grown legs, and attached itself to things I would have never dreamt of liking. Like
Boba. Do you know what this stuff is? It's the crack of the tea world.

The first time I bought one of these drinks I handed it back to the guy and said, "Uh. There's something in the bottom of my drink, man." To be honest, it looked like rabbit poop. I wasn't going to allow my brain to process the thought to my mouth though. "Is Boba!" The Swede behind the counter laughed. "You know, bubbles?" "Those are NOT bubbles." Who was he trying to fool? "No, no. Tapioca balls." Oh great, now they're balls?! Then he made a motion with his mouth as if sucking a straw, which might have been a little obscene. "You eat balls!" He handed me back the drink. I stared at the straw, suddenly noticing how large it was.

"Oh-kay." So I drank until something gummy and round popped through the straw opening. Then I chewed it. My first reaction was total disgust. There should not be gummy balls in my milk tea! But the texture grew on me, as did the strange nutty taste (no pun intended). I threw the empty cup away later thinking, "Well, that was interesting." Little did I know, the drink had already worked over my addictive personality. Now I can't go to the mall without making a beeline for the Boba shop. Have any of you experienced this wonderful/horrible drink? Are you convinced it's laced with crack too?


*Ok, I just read over this post and I can't decide whether it is overly sexually suggestive or just really disturbing. So I'm not going to end on that note. I also have a growing addiction to
Yahoo Answers. Let me tell you, there are some bizarre
questions out there. There are also some really good questions too. *Digs toe in dirt* Yeah, that's my question. If that isn't enough of an indication, we found another venue for our wedding! Yay! It's beautiful (facing a marsh) and completely secluded (we'll be the only wedding allowed there that day). We also found active termites in our bathroom yesterday. @#?$! Details to come.

How was your weekend?

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35 Comments:

At 16 June, 2008, Anonymous Daisy said...

egads -- my head is swimming!
Bubble tea, marshes, weddings, cigarettes, termites....

Hip hip hooray on the new venue discovery. Sounds much better than the crazy old place (though I have to confess an odd fondness for your way earlier idea of a wedding in the treehouse...I like those twinkle lights...)

And bubble tea? Yum. We are addicted to the mango flavor here. (Thing One tried banana, against my wise counsel, and was greatly disappointed)

We were disappointed the one time we tried it at the mall, and restrict our indulgence to the funky restaurant near my university (where they were filming "Transformers TWO" this past week)

 
At 16 June, 2008, Blogger AY@tes said...

Oh, I've got an addictive personality too, though mines not as bad (thats what I tell myself). I'm all over movies, facebook, iTunes, (re)installing Operating Systems on my laptop (Windows XP, Vista, Linux) every month, sometimes several times. If its on YouTube, I've probably seen it.

I'm in love in nostalgic things as well: my current fixation is the Drive-in

 
At 16 June, 2008, Blogger Karen said...

My personality is kinda addictive also, but I like to think that it more that I find comfort in patterns. Like buying books on ebay. I am going to need to move soon if I don't stop buying books.

 
At 16 June, 2008, Blogger Gordo said...

Unless I'm completely enamoured with something I get distracted. Oh, look! Shiny!

I have resisted the call of the bubble tea. Tapioca is not something I like, in any sense of the word, so I haven't tried it. Maybe I'll try it.

 
At 16 June, 2008, Blogger Eric Shonkwiler said...

I loved Creatures. Well, C2. Loved it. Loved it. Had Mernorns, all the COBs, all the patches. Had the playground in the sky. Had cacti everywhere because I couldn't throw the seeds away fast enough. Loved that game.

 
At 16 June, 2008, Blogger HalfAsstic.com said...

AAAAHHH! You Biotch! I read all about the wonders of the magical crack-tea. Decided I HAVE to try it, and looked to see where the locations are. YOU SUCK! LOL No where near me! Crap.
Termites huh? Could you have possibly brought down the mood any more effectively? I will hope and pray it isn't too bad. Wedding location sounds lovely. Make them sign something in blood promising they won't screw it up.

 
At 16 June, 2008, Blogger fiwa said...

YAY! You found a venue, I'm so glad. Sounds better than the other one to boot.

I'm sorry about the termites - I feel your pain - I really do. No one ever told me homeownership would suck so hard sometimes.

lovins,
fiwa

 
At 16 June, 2008, Blogger OneDaisy said...

Ok, I'll admit it, the blog had me slightly turned on and I needed to splash some water on my face. Does that make me disturbed or just sexually needy?

 
At 16 June, 2008, Blogger Janet said...

"You eat balls!" ROFLMAO!!! I puffy pink heart bubble tea and have for some time :-)

 
At 16 June, 2008, OpenID kcinnova said...

I had heard of bubble tea, back when I lived in Greenie town. The high school and college crowd were into it. At the time, my kids weren't old enough and I was too old...
But the way you describe it ALMOST makes me want to try it. I do like tapioca. And you know, the sucking balls part with nutty flavor - not the rabbit turd description. Oh, good grief, if my close friends or family ever read this...I would die of embarrassment. Except my husband. He would just laugh and enjoy.

 
At 16 June, 2008, Blogger Jay said...

"Ok, I just read over this post and I can't decide whether it is overly sexually suggestive or just really disturbing."

I found it somewhat arousing. ;-)

I've never heard of this Boba. I must investigate!

Addictive? Me? Nooooooooooooo. Not at all.

I did avoid the addiction of myspace. So far I'm not totally addicted to Facebook either, but I am addicted to Scrabulous. Which must mean I'm addicted to losing because I do it on a consistent basis on there.

I've tried to break my addiction to online message boards and forums with varying degrees of success. And by "success" I mean I haven't broken those addictions. ;-)

 
At 16 June, 2008, OpenID kcinnova said...

Okay, I'm less distracted now....

Hooray for the wedding plans!!

Addictions? Blogging. myspace. facebook. e-mail. youtube. Pretty much just COMPUTER. dang machine.

 
At 16 June, 2008, OpenID kcinnova said...

And solitaire. And minesweeper.

Sorry about the termites.
We're still fighting water here.

 
At 16 June, 2008, Blogger Chris said...

Heh, I live two blocks from a tea place that's made bubble tea for years. I've always been afraid. I think that's for the best. Who needs another addiction?! I sure don't need a new way to add starch to my life.

 
At 16 June, 2008, Blogger Reb said...

Have not tried bubble tea, will have to see if it is even available here in the frozen north.

Sucks about the termites, hope you caught them early.

Yay on the new location! Um, facing a marsh - does that mean, mosquitoes and other blood sucking flying things? Or do you not get those in small Florida drinking villages?

 
At 16 June, 2008, Blogger the planet of janet said...

totally weird...and random ... that boba actually came up at father's day dinner last nite.

otherwise, i'd never heard of it...

*shaking head*

 
At 16 June, 2008, Blogger Denice said...

LOL,
ICK,
LOL,
SIGH,
Congrats!!!

I do not like tea or coffee, if they did this with Coke Zero (weird as it sounds) I would probably try it.

 
At 16 June, 2008, Anonymous Moi said...

Mmmmmmm ... PEZ. I love them so much I now own several hundred of them.

And you are right, the yellow ones are oogie.

 
At 16 June, 2008, Blogger womaninawindow said...

OK, I'm going to warn you 'cause I like you so much. Do you realize you basically wrote about termites and having your wedding at a marsh almost in the same sentence. Well, close sentences. Don't you see anything suspicious there. Aren't marshes great places for other menacing insects to THRIVE? Just thought I'd throw that out there.

I'm a little shy about this, but, geesh, you asked...I'm a boba virgin.

 
At 16 June, 2008, Blogger Tink said...

You guys are cracking me up!

No worries, it's a SALT marsh. And if (by chance) there were some mosquitos who could handle the salt, they'd surely be dead by November.

 
At 16 June, 2008, Blogger Mary said...

bubble tea--YUM :-) I heart bubble tea. Tom hates it. Who cares? lol

I'm super excited you found a new place. I'm sure its more betterer than the last place.

 
At 16 June, 2008, Blogger rudecactus said...

I've seen that stuff but never actually consumed it. I'm just not convinced its not evil.

 
At 17 June, 2008, Blogger anaglyph said...

Yeah, I've had bubble tea but it obviously didn't work its addiction on me. I put it in the 'Interesting, but Meh' Category.

Now, wasabi peas, on the other hand....

 
At 17 June, 2008, Blogger captain corky said...

Anything that might have crack in it is worth a try to me, balls or no balls. Wait... what?

 
At 17 June, 2008, Blogger Newt said...

Yeah, I'm a little warm under the collar. :-) Tapioca pudding for me is crack. I haven't tried the drinks yet. I'll have to look into that. Yeah, cause I need another addiction.

And Etsy is totally crack

As is blogging

As is shoe shopping

We should start some sort of group. Atinkted to stuff annon.

 
At 17 June, 2008, Blogger gr said...

hey, good news on the wedding place, very good news, and YUCKO! Termites in the bathroom! I don't want to visit you next winter anymore, eww!

 
At 17 June, 2008, Blogger LL said...

Hmmmmm... so now you're addicted to balls with a strange consistency and a nutty flavor... Just remember to handle them gently. :P

 
At 17 June, 2008, Blogger Julie said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 17 June, 2008, Blogger Alice said...

YAAAAAAY on the new wedding venue! congrats! it sounds LOVERLY.

i've never tried that boba tea, exactly because i'm weirded out by having to CHEW while i'm drinking tea. eek.

 
At 17 June, 2008, Blogger Aunt Jackie said...

Re: The Wedding Venue, SEE?? I TOLD you it would all work itself out, everything happens for a reason, and always follow your gut instinct!

My weekend?? I still haven't recovered. Not because of any substance abuse (which I have done my share of as well!! I'm no exception), but from either out-of-body work at night while I'm asleep or just from all the work towards my band gig Saturday... I'm o.k. though :)

I haven't tried this Bobo thing, and now I'm afraid to. I have certain 'selective' addictions I guess... but like you, in illegal substances, I could do something and then not be addicted to it.

Haven't finished up my WWC yet, but hopefully soon...

 
At 17 June, 2008, Blogger Christy said...

I must say Boba sounds awful to me. I cannot handle gummy textures, not even for gummy bears which I cannot stomach no matter how delicious they are meant to be.

Congrats on the new wedding venue!

 
At 17 June, 2008, Blogger Farmer*swife said...

Um, I read the post [cute!] and I read the comments...I'm still lacking at what Boba is.

Is it tapioca? Is it nutty chocolate candy? Is it caffeinated? Is is xanax or ecstacy? What is BOBA???

I do prefer to drink from a straw [cleaner and germ free, although it can create lines around your mouth like smoking] but, I do not like to "suck" things/objects/balls [through a straw]. LOL!!!

HAPPY! HAPPY DAY! A NEW WEDDING PLACE!!!!! SEE GAL? It'll work out fine...I can't wait for November and all those precious pics you can share!!!

Happy Tuesday!

 
At 17 June, 2008, Blogger Sparkling Red said...

I LOVE bubble/Boba tea. I live in an area that's a combined Chinatown-Koreatown so there are Bubble Tea joints on every block. My favourite is fresh fruit slush with tapioca balls (lichee is best). I recently had a new experience: green balls. All the ones I'd seen before were black. They tasted good - more fruity than the others. OK, now go to town with the euphemisms!

 
At 18 June, 2008, Blogger Julie said...

huh, boba tea? I don't think us Ohioans are special enough to discover such a drink, it makes me sort of say acutally because it sounds really good. Also Yay NEW WEDDING LOCATION!! it sounds perfect.

Added on June 18th:
Ha Ha!! I found Boba Tea or atleast that is the claim on the internet and it's closer to home then I thought. Me thinks I should go and try some (What the hell who uses Me thinks anymore?) well apprantly me.

 
At 18 June, 2008, Blogger Jo said...

Congrats on scoring a secluded spot for your wedding!

I've been drinking something really similar to Boba since I was a kid...it's a Vietnamese drink, same tapioca balls but it's in a coconuty concoction instead of tea. I love it...it feels so wrong.

I love your addictions...seems perfectly normal to me.

 

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