Something For Everyone
Pick your poison, or pick them all.
Little Hands: As I was getting out of my car at Walmart, the moonlight glinted off the van next to me in such a way as to illuminate the tiny smudges on its windows. No not smudges, handprints. I stood there for a moment rocking from side to side trying to catch the light again. The handprints were so tiny. Finger to wrist they would have fit in my palm. We all had small hands once. It doesn't last long. I must have stared down at my own hands, because suddenly I felt panicky. How long have my hands been this size? Oh my God, I have adult hands! When did that happen?
It feels like my childhood whipped by so quickly. I remember so much, and yet I hardly remember growing up at all. There have been numerous times in my life where I suddenly felt RESPONSIBLE. There have been instances where I realized that the course of my life entirely depended on what I did in that moment. No one was going to save me. No one was going to fix me if I fucked up. But never in my life had I felt so ADULT as I did standing next to that van last night. I stared at those handprints and finally understood what it means to have big hands. I understood why it's so important that we grow up... Big hands are the only thing that help little hands along.
5 Minutes Of Random Thoughts:
Start. When people tell you, "You know what they say..." Who the hell are THEY? Is there a designated panel of people who sit around and think of things us ordinary Joes and Janes can quote so that we too can look smart? How do we know the information is correct? "The odds of being killed by falling out of bed are one in two million." Did THEY actually test that? Who the hell would sign up for a test that may or may not kill them?! "We're going to have forty of you fall out of this bed 50,000 times. But don't worry, only one of you is going to die." I don't fucking think so. "Researchers indicate that plants grow healthier when they are stroked." Did they put out an ad for candidates? "Wanted: People who are good with their hands and don't mind repetitive up and down movements." Nice. How about, "A marine catfish can taste with any part of its body." Did they ask it? I'm never believing another sentence that begins with, "They say..." again. End.
Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: Look what I got in the mail today. It says I could make over 80 grand!
Tink: That's a scam.
Hoop: No it's not. And it only costs $40 to enroll.
Tink: It's a scam.
Hoop: I guess that means I don't have to share all the money I'll be making with you then?
Tink: I'm cool with that.
Hoop: *Blink* You're not going to be jealous when I'm rolling around in a tub full of money?
Hoop: We'll see.
Tink: If you only make one dollar are you still going to roll in it?