Thursday, March 09, 2006

Winter+House-Sun/Cupcakes= 80th Post!

7 Signs That "Cabin Fever" Has Struck My House:

1. Hoop and I laid on the couch for forty-five minutes staring at a DVD intro screen because neither of us wanted to get up and look for the remote. We listening to the same three notes playing over and over and over again. Just when I thought my brain was going to turn into jelly, Hoop looked over the edge of the couch and realized the remote had been on the floor next to him the whole time.

2. While baking I sang the below song to the tune of "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred, accompanied by dance moves and spatula twirling.

"I'm too chubby for my love, too chubby for my love.
Love's going to leave me."

"I'm too chubby for my shirt, too chubby for my shirt.
So chubby it hurts.
And I'm too chubby for these cupcakes, too chubby for these cupcakes.
Vanilla and Strawberry."

"I'm a baker, you know what I mean.
And I bake my little cupcakes in the oven.
Yeah in the oven. In the oven, yeah.
And I frost my little cupcakes on the oven."


3. Hoop spent thirty minutes frosting six cupcakes, during which time I heard him describe them as "Icing Roses."

4. Last night we drank milk that was two weeks over the expiration date just to save ourselves the five minute drive to the gas station.

5. I used tissue out of the bathroom trashcan so I wouldn't have to dig out a new roll of toilet paper from underneath the sink.

6. Hoop and I did aerobics on the floor while eating our cupcakes.

7. I haven't worn anything red, orange, or yellow in over two weeks because I really don't want to do an extra load of laundry that doesn't fit into the white or dark stacks.

Daily Hoop Conversation: (Name Calling Part 1)
Hoop: What did you call me earlier today?
Tink: Punkin.
Hoop: I don't like that nickname.
Tink: Oh? Ok. Well there's, "Sweetie, Sugar, Honey, Babe-"
Hoop: -I know what you could call me.
Tink: What's that?
Hoop: Bad Ass.

Daily Hoop Conversation: (Name Calling Part 2)
Hoop: Bitch.
Tink: Asshole.
Hoop: Slut.
Tink: Faggot.
Hoop: Faggot?
Tink: We're calling each other names that are obviously untrue right?
Hoop: Uh... Yeah, that's right.

You're getting sleepy: I had a dream last night that my Mom was a witch and she was trying to shoot me so that she could cook me. I got her to calm down by pointing out that she didn't know how to cook. I agreed to make her dinner for a year and we called it even.

19 Comments:

At 09 March, 2006, Blogger Sizzle said...

I love your blog!!
You are too funny...

 
At 09 March, 2006, Blogger V said...

Hmmm...could send your mom over to threaten cooking my daughter?

Slick save there Hoop....OVIOUSLY untrue, you see!

 
At 09 March, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

Oh how I love you, Tink.

 
At 09 March, 2006, Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

Doing aerobics while eating cupcakes. A girl after my own heart.

 
At 09 March, 2006, Blogger Alien said...

See, I would've skipped the aerobics and just eaten the cupcakes. :)

 
At 09 March, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Welcome Sizzle! Great to have you. :)

V: I think I should start a mail-order witch service for Mom's everywhere.

((TB)) You know I lurve you too.

Gradual Gardener + Alien: The whole idea was to burn the calories we were currently eating so we wouldn't feel guilty. Although FUNNY, I don't think it really worked.

 
At 09 March, 2006, Anonymous gb said...

What were you and Hoop on last night!!?? Ha ha!

 
At 09 March, 2006, Blogger Kim: The Mom, The Myth said...

Dude, I just spent five minutes helping my son spell "Boogie" on his leap frog phonics radio.

The walls are closing in...I hear ya!

 
At 09 March, 2006, Blogger mama_tulip said...

FUNNIEST. POST. EVER.

 
At 09 March, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Whoa. You guys do cabin fever like no one's business.

 
At 09 March, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

Hilarious post.

I love the song. And doing aerobics while eating cupcakes ... just briliant. The aerobics neutralize any bad effects that come from eating cupcakes. I wonder if I could drink beer while riding the stationary bike?

But one thing .... 4. Last night we drank milk that was two weeks over the expiration date just to save ourselves the five minute drive to the gas station.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWE ... I throw milk out when it is 2 days BEFORE expiration. I gotta thing about spoiled milk.

 
At 09 March, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

GB: I wish I could say, "Something GOOD." But sadly, there's nothing to share. Unless you count sugar.

Kim: Please use "Boogie" in a sentence. :)

Mama T: That totally makes up for that asshole who said my blog was the "WORST. BLOG. EVER." *Air kiss*

Chris: I won't lie. It's scary girl.

Jay: We smelled it first! It tasted OK and I'm not sick today so I guess I'm in the clear. I would like to clarify though... This is not normal behavior for me. I promise.

 
At 09 March, 2006, Blogger Heather said...

I thought we were the only people who were that lazy!! That's hilarious!! I'm glad to know we are not alone!!

 
At 09 March, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

It's taken me a half hour to comment because I just keep reading/laughing/reading/laughing. I adore the I'm Too Chubby Song. I adore Icing Roses. And I also am too lazy/drippy to get up and get a new roll of tp after I've already peed. The empty roll is pretty absorbant, by the way.

 
At 09 March, 2006, Blogger Mary said...

You are always good for a giggle. WTG on aerobics plus cupcakes. you rock!

 
At 10 March, 2006, Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

Wear Depends and then you can skip 2 or 3 trips to the bathroom all together.

You guys are going to have to take up knitting or you may indeed go insane.

When you have kids, if you have kids, they will chase down the remote for you, it is a great thing.

 
At 10 March, 2006, Blogger R. Robyn said...

conversation numero due was great. as if maybe he actually meant that you were a bitch and now he could finally tell you.

 
At 10 March, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

That Hoop is one fast thinker there. What a save!

Next time just wipe with the card board toilet paper roll. That will save you one more trip.

 
At 10 March, 2006, Blogger Foo said...

Well done on the "Too Sexy" rewrite. I've performed a few extemporaneous variations on that theme, myself, but I don't think any of them came off quite so polished. Or cogent.

 

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