Monday, March 06, 2006

You might be...

Progress Report: $52.50 saved. 271 cigarettes not smoked. It's been eleven days since my last confession. For seventeen days I've smoked an average of one cigarette a day, clinging to my daily reward like a buoy in the ocean. Last weekend Hoop and I went 24 hours without nicotine. This weekend we went 48. There's a part of me that knows I could have kicked this already.

But the other part doesn't want to do it alone, doesn't want to leave Hoop behind. We'll get there. We're not giving up and we're not backing down. I laugh when I remember how easy I thought this was going to be though. It's like knowing how to swim and then getting stranded in the ocean. Swimming is no longer enough. You have to learn how to be patient. You have to learn how to float.

You might be a redneck if: ...your advertisement for used vehicles includes a "Wish List" for trade ins. Attached to an open phone booth at a gas station, Hoop found a handmade poster marketing all types of old 70s and 80s trucks and truck parts. The top of the ad read, "For sale, trade, OBO." It seemed normal enough, until you got down to the bottom. "Will trade for: RV, Houseboat, Fishing boat, Good Family Car, Camper, King Mattresses, Dining Room Set, Piano." Did you catch that? A PIANO. Not a banjo, guitar, or drum set. We have high-class Rednecks around here.

Hoop and I would have had enough fun picking apart the numerous typos, not to mention imagining what the hell their yard must look like with all those rusted up trucks and parts. But the "Wish List" is what made the flyer worthy enough of tearing down and taking home.

Tink: Who in their right mind would trade in good stuff for junk?
Hoop: I kind of admire the guy.
Tink: You admire the piano playing Redneck?
Hoop: This is probably his only chance at getting what he really wants. He's laying it all out there in a last ditch effort. What's the harm in asking?
...
Tink: But who does he think is going to see this list? Santa Claus?!

You might be Ghetto if: ...the rims on your car cost more than your car does. Every town has one of those notorious streets that people are scared to drive down. Ours is called King Street. It's more of a joke really. People get nervous because there are Hookers on the corner and because it's like the Lost-and-Found of stolen cars. But it's tame compared to when I lived in Toledo, Ohio. In Toledo, people would break into my borrowed Jimmy all the time. It was totally senseless considering the car had no locks, no passenger window, no stereo, and no value whatsoever. But they'd break into it all the same, cutting the seats and stealing all the napkins out of the glovebox. Woo Hoo, NAPKINS.

You can drive down King Street in the middle of the night and not hear gunshots. The worst you're going to see is an occasional fist fight or the usual barefooted children running around like strays outside dilapidated houses. Hoop thinks I'm insane because I like driving into that part of town. It humbles me. It makes me think of all the places in life that I'm not. Instead of turning a blind eye, I embrace it. We all belong there. If we'd sunk into our addictions, given up hope, lost our money, loved the wrong person, caved in to depression, were beaten down and forgotten, we could have all ended up there.

You might be lucky if... I don't get stuck in a tangent tomorrow and actually get those "Doses Of Tink" chapters to you. ;) Hope you all had a great weekend! Thanks again for your opinions and kind words.


24 Comments:

At 06 March, 2006, Blogger Foo said...

King Street, eh? As in Martin Luther Jr., perhaps?

I can't remember where he said it, nor exactly when and how, but to paraphrase Chris Rock, "Every city of any size has a Martin Luther King street/avenue/boulevard. If you find yourself on that street... run."

 
At 06 March, 2006, Blogger Jess Riley said...

Hang in there with quitting smoking! Sounds like you guys are doing pretty well so far. :)

LOVED that "wish list" sign. Oh my. I also like your reaction to King Street. A very true and humbling observation we should all remember.

 
At 06 March, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

I hate the stupid rims (and spinners) that certain people put on their cars today. I saw a pick-up truck Escalade (now there's an oxymoron!!) today with stupid spinners on it.

 
At 06 March, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Go Hoop! Go Tink! You can do it!! Woot woot!

That wish list is great. Now, aren't you tempted to call in a month or two and see how it all worked out? "Hi, I'm conducting a follow-up survey of people who have posted signs in phonebooth # 3,217..."

 
At 06 March, 2006, Blogger mama_tulip said...

You guys are doing great -- one step at a time. Dave had smoked for years when I met him and he took it slow when he quit. He did it over about 5 months, literally, whittling down every day. You can do it!

 
At 06 March, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Foo: LOL That's exactly what it stands for. I always thought it was odd that a street named after such a noble and righteous man could be so ominous.

Jess: I gage how well we're doing by how many times a day I think of decking Hoop. We're down to two. ;)

Debbie: I hear you! I actually saw a two tone minivan the other day with a spinner. Just one. WTH?

Chris: I LOVE the way you think.

 
At 06 March, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Mama T: That's so encouraging. All last week I kept wondering if I was out of my mind. Just one cigarette? I mean, you wouldn't think that would do anything for me. But I know it's helping me to gear up to quitting cold.

 
At 06 March, 2006, Blogger geenalyn said...

GO TINK GO!!

and the second place i lived here in canada with dh was on King Street, although our street was nothing like you described lol

 
At 06 March, 2006, Blogger EE said...

Ugh, I've been trying to post a comment all morning and apparently blogger hates me today.

Anyways, I think you're doing great w/ the whole trying to quit smoking!

And LMAO........they broke into your car to seal NAPKINS?!?!?

 
At 06 March, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

Are you saying there's something wrong with the spinners on my 1988 Subaru wagon? But the glow lights on the undercarriage are okay, right?

 
At 06 March, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Geenalyn: That's good news! I was beginning to wonder if it was an unspoken rule or something.

EE: I'm thinking they ran out of toilet paper. :)

 
At 06 March, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Mignon: The underlights are totally cool, as long as they're not purple.

 
At 06 March, 2006, Blogger Mary said...

You guys are doing good--I equate it to losing weight slowly=you're more likely to keep it off, so slowing cutting yourself off=more likely to not start again.

I've seen wish lists like that on craigslist and it always makes me lol

 
At 06 March, 2006, Blogger Emily said...

I'm going to post my wish list at a phone booth too! Thats a killer idea!

 
At 06 March, 2006, Blogger EE said...

Well, ewwwwwww, that makes it worse. LOL

 
At 06 March, 2006, Blogger Iamadesigner said...

excellent job with the non-smoking progress. I had to laugh about the sign you found...I grew up in redneck country so that story sounds very familiar.

 
At 07 March, 2006, Blogger Brooke said...

Just keep floating, my friend. Just keep floating.

 
At 07 March, 2006, Blogger R. Robyn said...

I have to admit that Joey and I still reward ourselves with a cigarette a day. Once in a while. It's an oxy moron really. Rewarding ourselves for not smoking by smoking. Hmmm. Good luck though. You'll get to a point where you don't really need the cigarette, but you'll always love one.

 
At 07 March, 2006, Blogger mE said...

1. I'm rooting for you and Hoop... keep your chin up (and the lighter away...)!

2. Loved the Ghetto ponderings - I think it's a good thing to occasionally appreciate the road not traveled. :)

~Eileen

 
At 07 March, 2006, Blogger mrspao said...

Maybe those people who stole napkins needed them for their napkin-traffiking ring?

 
At 07 March, 2006, Blogger Kim: The Mom, The Myth said...

I keep telling DH that I need--not want, but need--spinners. For my Odyssey. Cuz I'm cool like that.

 
At 07 March, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

"It humbles me. It makes me think of all the places in life that I'm not." - What a great perspective.

Re: the wish list... doesn't this guy realize that he's probably going to be trading with other people just like him? What makes him think any of them want to part with their prized possessions such as good family cars?

 
At 07 March, 2006, Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

So, do you think they're going to keep the piano in the RV, or the houseboat?

 
At 08 March, 2006, Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

Congratulations on the no smaoking Tink and I don't blame you for not wanting to go alone, it is easier to crave the cigs if you don't see Hoop doing it as well.

I am still going on the no Coke thing, but the caffeine, I just miss it.

They will shoot you here in Phoenix, but it it good not to pretend that it does not exist. Although, that is what I do most of the time.

 

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