Hell and Back
Five things I need to unload:
1. Thank you all for your endless support! I can't possibly express how much it helped this weekend.
2. You'll all be glad to know that Hoop is still alive.
3. But now he starts every conversation with, "I'm not trying to piss you off."
4. Quitting smoking is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. It damn near drove me insane the first day.
5. I know this because I had thoughts like, "I wish they made a cigarette perfume. Then I could psych myself out by smelling like I just had a cigarette."'
I'm not CURED. I still need a cigarette around noon, about the time my nerves start to unravel. But that's 90% better than I thought I'd be able to do after the traumatic start I had on Saturday. Yesterday morning I was a blubbering mess, wailing that I was never going to feel happy again. I'll be honest, I had been cocky on Friday. I thought it would be so much easier than it turned out. I NEVER anticipated the emotional low I would hit.
I went out and bought a pack of cigarettes after that. Hoop and I both smoked one and I trashed the pack. That was 12:30 yesterday. I haven't needed one since. We went to my Mom's for the day. I laughed and felt happier than I had in days. It gave me hope that I CAN do this. I CAN feel happy again. I got my libido back last night, much to Hoop's relief. It's a start. I'm not going to say this will be a cake walk from here on out. It may possibly get worse. But for the moment I'm confident. Today is the only day that matters today.
Tongue Twisters: Evidently when you quit smoking, the pathway from your brain to your mouth malfunctions temporarily. Here are some things that were said over the weekend.
Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: Isn't a Mule the product of a Horse and a Donkey?
Tink: Uh huh, and a Liger is the product of a Lion and a Tiger.
Hoop: There's no such thing as a Liger! They made that up on Napoleon Dynamite.
Tink: No, they're real. I think the name flips depending on whether the Lion was the Mom or the Dad.
Hoop: What, like a Tigon?
Tink: That's it!
Hoop: Oh my God. Whatever.
Tink: I'm serious!
Hoop: Are there Pultures too?
Hoop: Yeah, a Pigeon and a Vulture.
Tink: Um, no.
Hoop: But surely there's a Cog (Cat/Dog).
Tink: No, those are Dats.
Hoop: Or Dots?
Hoop: How about a Crocogator (Crocodile/Alligator)?
Tink: Or an Allidile?
(Drives by a Bald Eagle and Vulture, sitting on the side of the road together)
Tink: Did I just-
Hoop: -yeah, you saw that correctly.
Tink: I'll shut up now.
Hoop: Definitely Veagles.