Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Layers of the Onion

50 More things than you care to know:
(Dedicated to
Mrs. Harridan, Teebs, and Mamalujo1 who gave me the idea.)

1. I can't pee if I think someone is listening.
2. I'm 5'4", 118lbs, and 23 years old.
3. I once let my Mom bleach my hair.
4. It turned out highlighter yellow and glowed in the dark.
5. My greatest dream is to work in Graphic Design.
6. Whatever I do, I want to work at home.
7. I think I look like an alien in all of my baby pictures.
8. I used to wear an eyepatch and coke-bottle glasses.
9. I remember my dreams almost every night.
10. No one in them ever has a face.
11. I was raped when I was 15 by my best friend's brother.
12. I run into him every time I'm having a bad day.
13. I believe Karma likes to fuck with my head a lot.
14. I consider my brothers to be my children too.
15. I think yellow Pez tastes how Pledge Wood Cleaner smells.
16. My Mom and I made up a game plan if I became 26 and was still single.
17. The plan involved going to another country, getting knocked up, and then coming back home.
18. I told Hoop this on our first meeting. He was horrified.
19. I've been told I have a sharp tongue, am vulgar, and a prude.
20. I've also been told I am wise, tenderhearted, and open.
21. I worry too much.
22. Six guys have tried to label me "The One."
23. I only ever loved one of them.
24. Blue, Green, and Red all sooth me.
25. Yellow and Orange make me feel ill.
26. I wish I had wings.
27. When I was in 7th grade I came to the conclusion that my purpose in life was to help people move on from the things that kept them back.
28. Some days I still believe this.
29. Some days I wonder if this is just my excuse to help and then leave.
30. I sound like Betty Rubble when I laugh.
31. My unknown addictions are chapstick, stolen pens, and making lists.
32. I once dumped a guy because he wouldn't blink both eyes at once.
33. Clowns, spiders, and knives scare me.
34. Mimes, snakes and guns do not.
35. Every year at Christmas I secretly dump presents on a single parent's doorstep.
36. My least favorite holiday is New Years.
37. I refuse to wear matching underwear.
38. I believe every woman should own a vibrator.
39. I own four.
40. Laughter is my favorite medicine.
41. Too many people in my life have been unfunny.
42. I'm scared of heights.
43. But I love rollercoasters.
44. My eyes turn bright green after I cry.
45. I own seven pairs of black pants.
46. When I was eight I wanted a brief case.
47. Now I have one and I never use it.
48. It depresses me that I'll never be able to read all there is to read.
49. Hoop would like to be immortal. I love the fact that we're not.
50. I don't regret anything that has happened in my life.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: You want some ice cream?
Tink: I need ice cream like I need a hole in the head.
Hoop: But you DO need the holes in your head. You already have five.
Tink: I have eight holes.
Hoop: Eight?
Tink: *Points to ears*
Hoop: -one, two.
Tink: *Points to eyes*
Hoop: Those aren't holes!
Tink: Yes they are. They're just filled holes.
Hoop: It can't be a hole if it's filled.
Tink: Yes it ca-
Hoop: -fine, whatever. You have eight holes in your head.
...
Tink: Ok, that just might have been the strangest conversation EVER.

23 Comments:

At 15 February, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

Tink, can I be your best friend? That's the best 50 things list I've ever read.

(how'd you get an even number of holes?)

 
At 15 February, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Wow, reading your list has me all over the place. I want to go kick that fucking rapist so hard that he balls turn black and fall off. I want to laugh at some. I want to get misty at others.

I think it's best if I just giggle at the surreal Hoop conversation and send you a *hug*.

Um, I'm addicted to Vanilla Un-Petroleum sticks...

 
At 15 February, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Mignon: I'd be honored!

I only have one earring hole. The other sealed itself up. Technically I don't know if that counts. I don't see why not though since I don't see a f'n rule book for this whole "Holes in Head" thing.

Chris: S'OK girl. I imagine he'll get his in the end. Although I sincerely hope it's that his balls turn black and fall off.

Mmmm, Vanilla Un-Petroleum sticks. I'm addicted to Vanilla Soft Lips.

 
At 15 February, 2006, Blogger EE said...

I really enjoyed reading that. :)

#19 confuses me. How can you be crude AND be prude? LOL

I totally agree w/ #38!!!

 
At 15 February, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

Jumpin' Johosephat, Tink, I wanna hear another 50!

You continually impress me with having your shit together and being so articulate at such a young age.

And I want to beat the rapist with a baseball bat to his nuts.

 
At 15 February, 2006, Anonymous gb said...

Tink-sorry to hear about #11, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

YOu are one cool woman, with four vibrators no less! You rock! ;-)

#40-me too!

 
At 15 February, 2006, Blogger mama_tulip said...

#1, 9 & 21 -- Me too!

#11 -- ((hugs))

#20 -- I wholeheartedly agree.

#32 -- I would have dumped his ass too! Cree-eepy.

#35 -- You are awesome. AWESOME.

#38 -- Damn right, girlfriend. ;)

 
At 15 February, 2006, Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

1.Public restroom must be a bitch.
5.Graphic Design? Are you our B-List Blog Chicks logo designer, then?
11.Just give us his name.We'll take care of him.
18.Horrified, maybe, but he stayed!
31.I'm with you on the chapstick.
35.What a wonderful thing to do!
51.More, please!

 
At 15 February, 2006, Blogger Shrinking Violet said...

Tink - Demi Moore wore a patch over her eye as a child. I would have dumped the guy that didn't blink both eyes. I mean, what is up with that. Basically, he is winking all the time. I love your 50.

 
At 15 February, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

EE: "How can you be crude AND be prude?" Exactly my point! I think I confuse people. They can't decide what to label me.

Arabella: ((Hug)) Why are you so sweet to me?

GB: It SOUNDS cool, but you can only ever use one. Well maybe two, but I'm not going there. ;)

Mama T: Since you agree on #1 answer me this... If there's someone else in the public bathroom do you wait until they're peeing or running water to go?

Gradual Gardener: I would love nothing more than to be the "B-List Logo Designer." Unfortunately, I'd have to learn how to do it first. Hehe

Shrinking V: I could never tell if he was winking as in blinking or winking as in "Hey there good looking." And since winks are contagious, I found myself doing it too. And that just wouldn't do!

 
At 15 February, 2006, Blogger wordgirl said...

Totally fascinating list. I have a lot of black pants, too. I'm a Carmex freak. Unfortunatly, I like yellow and orange.

 
At 15 February, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

I can't think of 50 interesting things about me. But, 50 is just a drop in the bucket for you. You could probably make a "1,000 interesting things about me" list and just be getting warmed up.

 
At 15 February, 2006, Blogger mama_tulip said...

Yes. I do both, and if they're like, in the next stall over pinching a loaf with no signs of leaving anytime soon, I have to close my eyes and really concentrate on peeing.

 
At 15 February, 2006, Blogger eric said...

i would think the earring hole doesn't count because, technically, it would have to be a hole that ultimately could lead to your brain.

at least that's my rule.

you're a very interesting person.

e+

 
At 15 February, 2006, Blogger Peevish said...

I'm with Mignon on this one. I loved that list - it was funny, and sad, and I want more!

I am absolutely loving your Hoop conversations.

 
At 15 February, 2006, Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

Always interesting and funny to read your posts!

 
At 15 February, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

I want to hear that Betty Rubble laugh in person. Please email Arabella and tell her you are coming to Blogger B-List!!!!

 
At 15 February, 2006, Blogger Jess Riley said...

That was an interesting, wonderful, sad, and funny list. I'll definitely be back to your blog!

 
At 16 February, 2006, Blogger mE said...

Statistically, 1/3 of the women who read your blog can relate to #11. When you speak for yourself, you speak for them as well... and in doing so you *do*, to paraphrase someone dear, 'help them move on with their lives'.

Very cool. :)

~Eileen

 
At 16 February, 2006, Blogger Carrie said...

Tink, you are a very cool lady. I found myself thinking, "OMG, me too!" To half your list. Love it.

 
At 16 February, 2006, Blogger Mary said...

You never cease to suprise and amaze me Tink!

 
At 16 February, 2006, Blogger V said...

Heehee....50 more reasons to love Tink!
My eyes turn bright green when I have a migraine. It's a bitch....I look great when I feel like hell!

 
At 16 February, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

I think you are an amazing woman.

Also, you and I could totally share clothes. We are the same exact size. And if I recall your boobs are about the size of mine too. I could be your body double.

 

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