Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Stupid Cupid

The Scoop: Hoop and I were supposed to quit smoking today, but we decided to wait until Saturday. Did you all just roll your eyes simultaneously? I think you did. Who the hell had the bright idea of starting this thing on a TUESDAY anyway, and Valentines nonetheless? "Happy V-Day baby. I love you. Please accept this box of chocolates as I beat you in the head with it."

There's also the trust issue. If the world were being taken over by giant lizards from outer space, I could trust Hoop to try and rescue me. "Try" being the operative word. But when it comes to ten unsupervised hours, I can't trust that he wont smoke. Together we can at least monitor each other. I expect plenty of hand slapping and possibly a few titty-baby moments from me, but I think we'll do OK.

Valentine: The
oldest Valentine to date was written in 1477 by Margery Brews to her fiance, John Paston.

"Right reverent and worshipful and my right well-beloved valentine, I recommend me unto you full heartedly, desiring to hear of your welfare, which I beseech Almighty God long for to preserve unto his pleasure and your hearts desire.

And if it pleases you to hear of my welfare, I am not in good health of body nor of heart, nor shall I be till I hear from you.

For there knows no creature what pain that I endure, and even on the pain of death I would reveal no more."

Two years ago I wrote a Valentine to myself that said,

"Cupid shoots his arrows swift and straight,
into the hearts of lovers.
I wish he'd aim a little high,
and shoot the hearts of others."

The front was decorated with Cupid on a spit with an apple in his mouth. As you can tell, I'm not a big fan of this Hallmark Holiday. For those of you who are... I wish you heaps of chocolate that wont go straight to your hips, roses that will never wilt, dinner plans that don't involve a "drive thru," and romps around the bedroom that wont get interrupted by kids or dogs or ringing phones.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: I had a dream last night that we found this huge multicolored snake in the yard and by the time it reached us it had turned into a multicolored puppy. Isn't that strange?
Hoop: Yeah it is.
Hoop: So does this mean we can dye the dog?


At 14 February, 2006, Blogger mama_tulip said...

Valentine's Day is silly...I've never really been "into" it. That is, until I had kids. This is the first V-day that Julia has been able to understand and when I saw her face light up this morning, after I'd handed her a little gift bag with some Curious George pj's in it, well...my heart melted.

At 14 February, 2006, Blogger mama_tulip said...

PS) I love the Valentine you wrote to yourself. You should write for Hallmark. ;)

At 14 February, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Valentines is definitely for the kids. I will never forget the care in which my brothers picked out their valentines cards. It was SO important! Bless their hearts.

At 14 February, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

Love your valentine to yourself!

I understand your reasons for waiting until Saturday with the smoking thing. I fear for the two of you cooped up together and not smoking, though--maybe plan a fun outing? And a reward at the end of the day for not smoking? Perhaps a nice meal? Involving steak? Ok, I'm projecting my own steak desires onto your quitting smoking...I'll stop now. :)

At 14 February, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Oh, love the idea of spitted Cupid... hee hee.

Could you please define "titty-baby moments" for the viewing audience?

And if you dye the dog rainbow colors, I would recommend something non-toxic that doesn't need to be set by heat. He probably won't like sitting in a pot on top the stove too much...

At 14 February, 2006, Blogger eric said...

"singles awareness day."

or, "butt rape men with a broomstick day" (metaphorically, that is).

but as the drunk chick in 40 Year Old Virgin would say, "have to suck it uuuuuup."

my wife and i have agreed not to go out to eat, or buy roses or (i think this one is right) not buy cards of what other people have to say.

we usually get each other something small, you know, just because, but i hate valentine's day. almost as much as i hate santa claus.


At 14 February, 2006, Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

Wait, the witch is dead? Did I miss it? How did the witch die?

Regarding Valentine's Day, it needs to die along with the witch. I hated it when I was single, felt ambilivant about through most of my married years, and hate it again now that my daughter is fourteen and hoping for recognition from a boy who may or may not give it. If you're in a relationship, you don't need Valentine's Day, and if you're not in one it just makes you feel inadequate.

OK, I'll go have some chocolate now.

At 14 February, 2006, Blogger EE said...

Love the poem you wrote. That's great, lol.

Yeah, Vday is definately fairly anti-climatic. My dh was all into it too, when I told him I couldn't go grocery shopping after picking up C from school this afternoon bc I had promised to make cupcakes w/ the kids he said "oh fuck, I forgot it's Valentine's day". Nice. Thanks hon.

At 14 February, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Arabella: Mmmm, steak. I think that's a great idea. If you don't hear from me on Monday though, you know that we killed each other.

Chris: Titty-Baby~ To make a fuss, not unlike a baby who desires the tit. Often pacified by obnoxious amounts of coddling. Yup, that'll be me on Saturday.

Eric: You hate Santa Claus? God, you're SO unamerican. hehe ;)

Gradual Gardener: The two fat children (Hansel and Gretel) killed her. That's how they escaped. I was trying to give the impression of that when they ran out, and solidify it with the last lil' chapter when it says she's dead. Didn't they cook her in the original story? *Shudder*

EE: Oh groan. Maybe hubby was uh... just playing so that you'd be extra surprised? Let's hope. He better redeem himself quick.

At 14 February, 2006, Blogger Heather said...

Does that mean we can dye the dog!! That's great!! SOO something my husband would come up with!!

At 14 February, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

I can't believe that Hoops dream didn't end with his penis as usual. He must be growing up.

Load up on food and gum for the weekend. Are you allowed to drink while you are quitting or would drinking make you want to smoke?

At 14 February, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Heather: What's worse is that he sounded dead serious.

Debbie: Oh no, I think I'll be perfectly OK with drinking and not smoking. But what if I get ADDICTED to drinking? Then I'm screwed!

At 14 February, 2006, Blogger Rock said...

Well at least you will DIE together.

At 14 February, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

I'm with MamaT. Kids love v-day. I rank it right behind Arbor Day and just ahead of Flag Day. Of course if I woke up and had a treasure hunt all laid out for me with a basket of chocolate, cute socks and glow in the dark pens I would be down with V-day too.

Quitting a bad habit while at work means instant fat. I tried to quit chewing my nails a couple years ago during a staff meeting and gained 10 pounds in 20 minutes. I'm with Arabella - you guys need to get out the house this weekend... good luck!

At 14 February, 2006, Blogger Brooke said...

Screw quitting smoking today (you'll get there...we're behind you...just not today), don't dye the dog and have a happy V Day!

At 14 February, 2006, Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

I like the idea that there is a day set aside for Romance and Love and more often than not, sex. But, getting engaged or married on Valentine's Day, that is a bit much.

Yes, keeping a watchful eye on one another is probably a good idea.

At 15 February, 2006, Blogger Alien said...

YAHOO! You're still a fellow smoker for a few more days! Rock ON!

[ducking and running as all the non-smokers tell me to shut the fuck up...]

At 15 February, 2006, Blogger mE said...

I love Valentine's Day, because it's the one day that the Pirate remembers to be romantic: instead of just goosing me whenever he sees me, on Valentine's Day he writes a *poem* about goosing me...and then gooses me in an official 'illustrating the poem' capacity.

Who could resist a holiday that inspires such romanticism?


At 15 February, 2006, Blogger Rock said...

I agree - I certainly don't understand this grousing about V-Day by all these women. It sort of tells men not to give a shit about it - but the opposite is true.

I had balloons, candles, seafood and chilled wine ready for Deborah when she got home - (and even though we have done this a dozen of times) she was surpised and quite pleased. That's a Valentine.

Just remembering.

At 15 February, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

Okay, but I'm holding you to the weekend quit date. That will give the Wellbutrin more time to be in your system anyway. Besides, who has time to smoke with all that sex going on?


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