Monday, February 13, 2006

Personal Earthquake

Day five on Wellbutrin: God is female. If God were male, all of us women would have been born with libidos like this medication gives me. You think I'm saying this backward don't you? I'm not. Do you know what I did all weekend? Absolutely NOTHING. That's excluding the sex, with orgasms that probably tipped the Richter scale in San Diego. I'm not trying to rub this in, honestly.

I'm sitting here trying to figure out where the last two days of my life went. Did I get my brakes replaced? Did I buy groceries? How about the hair cutters? Did Hoop and I make it over to his Grandmother's for a visit? The answer is no to all of the above. It was the least productive weekend ever. On the other hand, Hoop is the happiest man alive.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
(After watching
Matrix Revolutions)
Tink: If I had to go off to Machine City, most likely to my death, would you go with me?
Hoop: Hell no! No point in both of us dying if one of us has a chance of surviving.
Tink: You wouldn't die with me?
Hoop: Some girls want fancy things, their boyfriend's money, ride around in expensive cars. But not you. You want your man to die for you.
Tink: Not for me, with me. There's a difference.
(Eight hours later. Hoop playfully asks me if I'm mad at him for something.)
Tink: No, I'm not mad at you for that.
Hoop: Oh but there is a "that?" What are you mad at me for then?
Tink: Because you wouldn't die with me.
Hoop: Oh Jesus Christ. Fine. I'll die with you. Happy now?
Tink: Yes.
(The next evening. Hoop and I hear a rustling in the underbrush next to the house.)

Hoop: What was that?
Tink: I don't know.
Hoop: Oh my God!
Tink: What?!
Hoop: Those people have their Christmas lights up still, and the way they glinted through the bushes they looked like two red eyes.
Tink: Holy shit, they DO. Wow, that's creepy.
Hoop: I was about to be like, "Baby... Run!"
Tink: Pffft. Whatever. You would have used me as a shield.
Hoop: Well, at least we would have died TOGETHER.


At 13 February, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

Oh my goodness....the Wellbutrin sounds better than French toast!

Enjoy it, girl!

At 13 February, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

That's great - you have the totally opposite Wellbutrin effect and both you and Hoop die happy, starving to death because you're too busy to go grocery shopping!

At 13 February, 2006, Blogger EE said...

Ummm, I don't smoke and *I* want to try that Wellbutrin! LMAO

Seriously, glad to hear it's working so well for you...all around ;)

At 13 February, 2006, Blogger mamalujo1 said...

Sounds like you ARE still "smoking," in fact!

At 13 February, 2006, Blogger Odd Mix said...

I have got to get hold of that Wellbutrin stuff for my wife! Maybe she could just pretend to smoke and then go see the doctor... Hmm, have to think on this.

If this Libido thing keeps on interfering with my doses of Tink I'm gonna... uh... well, not be happy about it.

At 13 February, 2006, Blogger wordgirl said...

Oh my! Please don't tell Mr. Half about Wellbutrin. I dont think I need it, but it's like that old Woody Allen movie where the man and the woman are seeking separate couseling about their relationship and the woman is saying:
"My gosh! We have sex constantly...three nights a week!" And the guy says, "We hardly ever have sex...only about three nights a week".
It's all in the perspective, I guess.
Don't forget to have a sandwich.

At 13 February, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Arabella, Chris, EE, Mamalujo1: Ahahaha. You guys sound like my cheering squad. I swear if I die from sexual exhaustion I'll leave you all things in my will. Anyone want dibs on my ADHD Rat Terrier?

Odd Mix: Have her tell the doctor she's DEPRESSED about quitting SMOKING. Those being the two qualifications for the drug, she'll be a shoe in. ;)

Wordgirl: LMAO! You've seen a glimpse of us in 8 years.

At 13 February, 2006, Anonymous Amanda B. said...

So. Freakin'. Jealous.

At 13 February, 2006, Blogger mama_tulip said...

Ahem. Dave can NEVER read this blog. He will have me on Wellburtin so fast my head will spin.

At 13 February, 2006, Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

My husband also wants to have a cigarette after sex. Is the idea behind the Wellbutrin that you never stop having sex, therefore you never end up with the post-sex cigarette?

At 13 February, 2006, Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

I meant always, not also.

I need to start proof-reading my comments!

At 13 February, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

*Wipes tears from eyes* You guys are seriously cracking me up. I did not expect this many comments about the Wellbutrin! There really is no need to be envious. Soon I'm going to be so sore I can't sit and you all will have your laugh. I'll let you.

At 13 February, 2006, Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

I am also totally jealous, since my sex life is being totally directed by babymaking.

Oh, to be 22 and oversexed again! I miss those days.

At 13 February, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Hmm, we maybe need a Hoop interview on a topic of interest... ;)

At 13 February, 2006, Blogger The Queen Mama said...

I must be too damn tired...not jealous about the Wellbutrin. But am happy you're having so much fun quitting smoking!

The Doses of Tink are very fun. Hope you're planning on keeping them coming for a while!

At 13 February, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

I was jealous at first, but realized if I actually had a libido to speak of right now, I would be as frustrated as... as ... well, as my husband. A house full of sick people, children sleeping in our bed, and the freakin' Olympics means no nookie around these parts.

At 13 February, 2006, Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

So, now I have to take up smoking so that I can get some Wellbutrin?

My answer to the death's a long one, I will have to post it on my site...

At 14 February, 2006, Blogger Alien said...

So you haven't actually quit smoking yet, right? That's tomorrow's big event, correct? (Today when you read this.)

So see, although I am jealous about the whole libido/orgasm thing, you'll be jealous of me as I continue to suck nicotene into my lungs. See? It's all about balance in this world. Yeah. That's it. [grumble grumble]

At 14 February, 2006, Blogger Iamadesigner said...

I certainly did not have that reaction from wellbutrin and can I say-I'm so jealous!

At 14 February, 2006, Anonymous gb said...

I told you, that Hoop is one lucky man!!

At 14 February, 2006, Blogger Rock said...

Talk about jumping through Hoops....


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