Friday, February 24, 2006

The Church Of Cool

Hoop greeted me at the door yesterday with, "What's for dinner?" I must not have looked too thrilled when I answered, "Fish." He quickly offered Boston Market instead, one of my many weaknesses. The only problem with Boston Market is that the closest one is forty minutes away. So did we head in that direction? No. We headed in the opposite direction. "We haven't really explored Palm Coast, maybe there's a Boston Market there?" I rubbed my grouchy stomach. "The last time I was in Palm Coast, all they had was a McDonalds."

But I'm a sucker for adventures so I didn't complain. We hit Palm Coast and I was pleasantly surprised at how developed the city had become in the last few years. We Oooh'd and Ahhhh'd over the Walmart. The WALMART for Christ Sake. We're way too easily entertained. But It soon became apparent that not only was there no Boston Market in Palm Coast, there really wasn't anywhere else that we wanted to eat either. We decided to go back the way we came.

Hoop quickly pulled into a packed parking lot, looking for a place to turn around. "You're going in the 'Out' way," I called out to him as we swerved in between parked cars. "What is this place anyway?" I look up at the pointed roof. "A church." I slunk into my seat as we passed beneath the overhang that protected the front doors. Six or seven people in dresses and slacks mingled to our left. I was mortified. We were going the wrong way and at break neck speeds. "They're drinking!" Hoop cried out as we passed them. I craned my neck back. But it was impossible to see what kind of bottles they were all holding. "Drinking as in drinking?" "Michelob Light to be exact."

I stared at the church as we passed by it. Through the open blinds I could make out the neons, blazing above a crowded counter. "There's a bar in there babe!" Hoop slowed the car and stared for a moment before moving on. "Welcome to Palm Coast, the home of... The Church Of Cool." We both sat in silence for a minute, digesting the information. Suddenly we both turned to each other and burst into laughter. Hoop and I have always had an inside joke that we're going to create "The Church Of Cool." There's no reason or details to this plan, just a catchy name that we like to throw out during religious conversations.

Hoop: We could have a bar in our "Church Of Cool."
Tink: Or we could simply open a bar and call it "The Church Of Cool." You could give fake sermons before the start of every evening while the drunks file in.
Hoop: That is SO sacrilegious.
Tink: Well no shit! Isn't that the whole point of this joke?
Hoop: Yeah, but...
Tink: Can you imagine all the people that would picket outside our doors? We'd have to clean the egg off our walls every morning.
Hoop: I still think we should stick with the church idea.
...
Tink: So how is that not sacrilegious?


Have a great weekend everyone!!

25 Comments:

At 24 February, 2006, Blogger AddCaster said...

Okay, I have to know what the name of this church is. Did you get the name or denomination?

 
At 24 February, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

A bar in a church. What a brilliant idea. I hope they have Guinness on tap.

If they put in a grill and make breakfast you could just go straight there from the clubs on Saturday night. All they would need then is are some stages and stripper poles.

/that should get me a first class ticket to Hell

 
At 24 February, 2006, Blogger Jess Riley said...

I must admit I admire your honest answer to Hoop's inquiry about dinner. Half the time, when asked the same question by my hubs, I respond with "Pootie Tang and a side of scabs."

We eat out pretty much every night.

I mean, at a restaurant. :)

 
At 24 February, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

I think you're really on to something here, Tink. The communion wine could be a shot of Jeager, the baptismal pool could be a champagne fountain and instead of a choir you could have a band. I would totally go to that church.

 
At 24 February, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Hmm, I could get behind a church like that. Especially if it was flexible about the other church stuff.

 
At 24 February, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Addcaster: I have no idea. I was in a bit of shock at the time. Hoop was driving. That's usually bad enough.

Jay: I'll meet you there buddy. We'll go to "church" together lol.

Jess: "Pootie Tang and a side of scabs." That's great! I'm totally stealing that.

TB: You are brilliant. I'm making you pastor.

Chris: Flexible will be our motto! :)

 
At 24 February, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

What did you wind up eating?

I could use some Boston Market right frickin' now.

 
At 24 February, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Amen to the church of COOL!

I want to be the one to hit people over the head and heal them! Can I? Can I? I'll bet Hoop already called that job, dammit!

We have a gay bar in a church here. Now if that ain't sacriligous than I don't know what is!

 
At 24 February, 2006, Blogger mama_tulip said...

The Church of Cool!

ROCK ON!

 
At 24 February, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Arabella: Boston Market. We drove 25 minutes back home and then 40 minutes in the other direction. I had a serious craving. I almost licked the plate.

Deb: The job is yours. Hoop hasn't called it yet, but I'll let him know the position has been filled should he ask. You need to start practicing. "You're healed! Now have a beer."

 
At 24 February, 2006, Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

Can I be the one who gets to empty all the little shot glasses that nobody drank after communion? I used to do that when I was a kid, and I'd drink one for every two I poured back into the bottle. My church only used grape juice, but I'm sure yours will have something better!

 
At 24 February, 2006, Blogger EE said...

I actually think I could attend THAT church! ;)

 
At 24 February, 2006, Blogger wordgirl said...

In college there was a Bluegrass joint and bar that was in an old woodframed church near the campus. Porch swings all around the outside and ceiling fans inside. The bar was in the old choir loft. It was called "Grins". It's gone now.

 
At 25 February, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

The Church of Cool definitely has to have the Reverend George Foreman in the pulpit, if only for the post-sermon barbecues.

What's Boston Market?

 
At 25 February, 2006, Blogger Pixie LaRouge said...

*snort* Don't DO that to me when I'm drinking (sadly, only water). Thanks, Tink! I REALLYREALLY needed that laugh!

 
At 25 February, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

What's Boston Market???? Mignon where in Timbuktu are you living?? Its only the best chicken (roasted not fried) in the world. And the cinnamon apples are to die for.

 
At 25 February, 2006, Blogger The Queen Mama said...

Was it REALLY a church, or just a building that looked like a church (or had been a church) that had been converted into an actual bar.

Church of Cool...bwa-ha-ha!!!

You know, one thing I like about being Catholic is that drinking isn't verboten. Too bad I don't drink anymore...

 
At 25 February, 2006, Anonymous Antique Jewelry said...

Giving a hot diamond jewelry to someone you care about is a message of caring. There are so many great local resources now for hot diamond jewelry . It is easier than ever to pick up the phone or go online and find hot diamond jewelry.

Another great site with a lot of updating information is http://www.aphroditesaccessories.com. Thanks by the way for such a great blog!

 
At 26 February, 2006, Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

My church serves wine every Sunday, but not a bar. If this place has child care services I may see my way clear to joining up!

 
At 26 February, 2006, Blogger Iamadesigner said...

That would be one way to get me to church ;)

 
At 27 February, 2006, Blogger mE said...

So. Where did you end up for dinner?

~Eileen
Yeah, I hyperfocus. So what?

 
At 27 February, 2006, Blogger Brooke said...

Come join us (lapsed) Catholics! They serve wine all the time (even thought I don't drink...but you can have mine!).

 
At 27 February, 2006, Blogger FA said...

I'm glad someone else had trouble finding something to eat in Palm Coast. I've ridden up and down the highway there looking for something decent. It doesn't exist. I usually settle for the mexican joint by the liquor store or the Cracker Barrel near "the 40 store" (the gas station). Hmmm...there seems to be a theme there. :)

 
At 27 February, 2006, Blogger julie said...

I'd show up if you could actually turn the water into the wine before my very eyes!!!! That would be cool (even though it's been done before).
:)

 
At 28 February, 2006, Blogger eric said...

my uncle used to always say he should open a church on his empty land. you don't have to pay taxes and you get free perks and people just hand you money in a plate.

you just have to preach something they can believe in, i guess.

you can always crash an episcopal church.

"how many episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb? four. one to hire someone to do it for you and three to pump the keg."

e+

 

Post a Comment

<< Home